How should I deal with them?

[Anonymous]

So there are these guys that I have in my life. At first, they seemed like chill nice guys, then after a while, they showed who they really were. And I can't be friends with them really because it's just not me like the hangouts consist of smoking, watching music videos, them talking bad about others, smoking more, admiring each other smoking, and watching videos of people smoking. I don't want to straight up tell them that I am done hanging out with them because if someone says something that they don't like or doesn't work in their favor, they say they'll fight the person talking or something, but they never do fight. But it still stresses me out, though, because I don't like violence or negative feelings/emotions thrown at me because I rather have the majority of people be ok with me. I work with them, so do I block them, do I tell them directly, or what should I do? and when I am stressed by them, how should I handle it?

Updates

1 y

Thank you! So, the other day one of the guys was at my job and I was cashiering and checking out a customer. The guy was just saying random insults and being a jerk so I just ignored him and didn't even acknowledge it. Luckily the customer knows who I am and knows none of the things he was saying was true. But after a while he left because I was on my phone ignoring everything he said. The group tried to call me today but I didn't answer, I felt if I answered it would only continue

Updates

1 y

But my plan is to just ignore them all or give really really short answers to anything they say because no matter any threat they make or whatever. they won't do anything and I'm going to be gone from the job soon since I put my 2 weeks in not just due to them but because the new job is higher pay.

[Guy13]

How old are you? Perhaps, a counselor in high school or college can help you effectively navigate this. I may be wrong but I doubt anyone on this website has a solution that I would trust. I get your feelings and fears but no idea how to fix 🤷🏻‍♂️.

[Asker]

I'm 19, but I am no longer in college. I know it's most likely the same with all social media/ websites, but I just want another person's view on what is happening so I know I'm not going in blind, you know

[Guy13]

Oh, I got you. If it was me, I would separate BUT that’s my general nature. In most things, I am able to navigate around people or entities. I don’t know because I don’t know them or you alls relationship. I did glance down at one other opinion and that makes sense. Good luck in all this and we all have done something like this once. Best 👍

[hyperben]

drift away slowly, if you dont want the hassle of confrontation, just hang out less and less and gradually put some distance between yourselves, for sure they WILL talk shit about you behind your back but in the long run thats a tiny price to pay

[Asker]

thank you, yeah they for sure are talking behind my back. The other day, I was working with a customer and they just came there and saying the most random insults and i don't care because I've heard the exact same stuff everyday in middle school so i am well trained to handle those insults lol. Like literally every single day i was called anything they say. Even at my house so it doesn't affect me too much. Just the threats gets scary even though i know it won't happen.

[hyperben]

I understand that, guys who talk big normally act small. slightly off topic and ignoring my previous thoughts, when someone threatens me, rare occurence as I dont have many people in my circle, im sure to address it right away to let them know theyre not to do that, nothing you'll get in trouble for but enough to make them reconsider their actions next time