How to Handle a Messy Wife or Husband?

[jewel]

I'm just asking because I'm curious and I'm a Virgo. If your wife or husband is messy, how do you handle them?

[DaveJord]

Honestly some times you have to take the good with the bad, so you got to ask yourself how important is it to you? If you want something you got to give something, and yes relationships are transactional. If you want someone to put more effort out in one area, then how much are you willing to put out more effort in other areas?

And if your one of these people that feels your SO has to a lot to make up for, because your doing everything across all areas or that you are doing so much more then other person is ….. well you should probably really think about how important this this guy is to you and if he is worth it.

So my ex-wife was a neat freak, and I am not a dirty person... but she was like OCD and on my ass all the time... she would act like she did all these for me, but honestly she did those things for herself and then projected them on me, like if I did them then she would have to. But I didn't give a crap if she ever did those things, so it just came down to her wanting me to do things just for her, but then there were things I would appreciate her doing for me. She wasn't about any of that, because she already was doing so much more than me... but again those things were not for me, they really all about her and what she wanted. And things I did do very well and provided were never appreciated or valued on the some level.

So ask your self, how important is it for you and use a little quid pro quo and see how that works for you, rather than ragging on him, or making it seem like ragging.

[Anonymous]

Negotiate I will cook dinner if you clean xyz.

Ask or tell/hint that you love a clean house she/he may want to do it out of love.

People have differant habits you can't always change them.

I live at home and my mums messy has stuff everywhere but I set a boundary with the kitchen and just let her have a messy corner but she has to keep the rest of the kitchen as clean as I keep it.

[Apple1996]

I'm a virgo too and I just clean up my husband's messes for him

[Artificial Intelligence]

How To Live With A Messy Partner

Assuming you're referring to living with a partner who is messy, here are some tips:

1. Establish some ground rules.

Decide what is and isn't acceptable in terms of messiness. For example, maybe your partner can leave their clothes on the floor, but dishes must be put in the sink.

2. Communicate calmly.

If you're feeling frustrated, try to have a conversation with your partner about the messiness instead of getting angry.

3. Be willing to compromise.

If your partner is willing to make an effort to be less messy, meet them halfway. For example, if they're willing to pick up their clothes, you can agree to do the dishes more often.

4. Don't take on more than your share of the cleaning.

It's not fair to expect your partner to be perfectly clean if you're not willing to do your part.

5. Try to see the positive side.

A messy partner can actually be a good thing. They're usually creative and spontaneous, and their messiness can add some excitement to your life.

How Do You Communicate with a Messy Partner?

It can be difficult to communicate with a messy partner, especially if you are a neat freak.

Here are a few tips to help you communicate effectively with your messy partner:

1. Try to be understanding and patient.

It can be frustrating living with a messy person, but try to remember that everyone has different standards of cleanliness.

2. Be assertive, but not aggressive.

It is important to communicate your needs to your partner but do so in a way that is respectful and non-judgmental.

3. Avoid nagging.

This will only make your partner feel defensive and is unlikely to result in them changing their ways.

4. Suggest compromise.

If your partner is resistant to change, suggest compromise solutions such as designated areas for their messiness or scheduled cleaning times.

5. Seek professional help.

If you have tried everything and nothing seems to work, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you and your partner communicate more effectively and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to the problem.

[Pinay_ako]

What does a zodiac sign got to do with being messy? If a person uses their sign or the horoscope to justify their behaviour 😂, I’m out. Clean your own damn mess!

[Emiliamazing]

He gave up on me a long while ago 🤣. He patiently waits til the end of the day and starts tidying up after dinner. He does make the bed in the morning-says it’s easier to sort laundry on a made bed.
In our early years he would get annoyed, then he realized I wasn’t changing and adopted the patient approach

[Slartybartfast]

I never even bothered to try to get her to clean, cook , pay a bill etc.

Getting a dishwasher helped.

[humanearth]

She is half messy and I'm half messy

Something's we are neat freaks about and something's we are just slobs

Like my radio desk, my work area in the tractor shed and my dresser all have to be neat and tidy

[D_Bone_Steak]

I need an answer to this issue as well. My wife is a fucking slob. Never puts shit where it's supposed to go or just back where she got it, constantly buys shit, and it fucking sucks.

[Orange85]

I am very messy and it doesn’t bother me. So it might be hard to convince him it’s a problem. What exactly is he messy with? Not picking up clothes? Food? Dishes

[Fuentes]

So you enjoy pest in your place?

[Orange85]

Ok so u wanna judge? Or start a fight? Never said what I was messy about

[Fuentes]

You said it doesn't bother you, so I asked do you enjoy pest? Does that offend you?

[Orange85]

Yea I’m very messy with my clothes that’s it. Just came of as an asshole way of asking. Who enjoys pests?

[Fuentes]

Cause you said "i am very messy" & they're people out there who attract pest with how messy they're so I'm saying why be messy it attracts pest.

[DermalPunch]

What does being a Virgo have to do with anything? Anyway, I had a sock dropper. Just keep gently reminding them and after a few years it should improve.

[Chazmatazz269]

If you MARRIED them, then it just is what it is. You should have figured that out before tying the knot if it’s an issue for you.

[Slartybartfast]

If I didn't clean it, it never got cleaned.

She didn't do housework.

[TacosRAwesome]

So my mum's a standard Virgo. My dad's messy. She lives with the mess and he lived with her nagging.

[Fuentes]

If someone is messy they lacked a skill growing up to clean & that's a no go for me and I can. tell if someone is dirty before I even take them serious.

[onlinecasinoxx]

Try to see things from your partner's point of view.
Write down a list of the things that really bother you.
Schedule a weekly or monthly couples meeting.
Establish a process of negotiation.
Don't forget to praise each other.

[KatherineJ]

My husband is a grown man, he cleans up after himself.

[Noodle_fan]

just let her?

i won't marry her on first place if i find being messy is deal breaker

[Anonymous]

I take it then that Virgo is meant to be fastidious and tidy. That hasn't been my experience.

[mermaidcancermoon]

Id have them hire a maid with their income.

[1GoldTwins]

What does being a Virgo have to do with it?

[Wise4myage]

Clean in the nude.

[BLP11520]

Suffer,..