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"I don't want to ruffle your feathers..." It's a line my husband uses once in a while, referring to an embarrassing (for me) moment early in our dating relationship. He usually says it in front of other people who don't understand what it's all about, then smirks or winks.
When it was time for him to meet the parents, it all went well. I'd cautioned hubs that if my mom fed him anything, just to say thanks and that it was good, but don't rave about it - unless he wanted to take five pounds of whatever she served home with him. After dinner we went to the family room, and he was admiring the pictures on display of my brothers and I when we were a lot younger. He made the mistake of commenting that one of them of me was "adorable." That cued my mom to go to the computer and show him a BUNCH of pictures of me when I was a little kid. I had never seen the series she started showing him. She opened one up, and it was a full frontal naked picture of me during a vacation trip to a lake when I was about six years old. I mean high resolution, no detail missing frontal nakie photo, right there on the big screen. My now husband commented I didn't look much different, which prompted my mom to point to my girlie bits and say "She looks the same but she's got feathers there now." My now husband didn't flinch, but I was ready to flatten myself and crawl under a piece of furniture. Everything else about the evening went fine, but when we got to the car, my smart ass husband looked at me and said: “Don’t worry, I won’t give you any crap about it. I wouldn’t want to ruffle your feathers.”
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A guy who liked me was my boss at work and I told him I would be done my job in a period of time and he looked at his watch with the demand I hurry up, and I said, “what your going to time me? Oh my gosh! That’s sooo scary!” And after that he would always laugh and look at his watch as a joke when He saw me that I make funny faces when I’m worried or anxious, and I think he lied to management about how good my job performance was.
So she's terrible (my girlfriend) at typing on her phone, but won't use her laptop or my PC. Her texts are constantly garbled because she's hit the wrong key and autocorrect took over. That's our joint joke.
She took her kids on a mini break here in the UK a while back... and when she got back she wrote a review for the website. She stated the usual stuff like how beautiful it was, the site was clean blah blah blah. Now, at this Glamping site there were horses that her girls went to see all the time. But when trying to type about stroking the horses... it came out as "my girls were especially pleased about the horses, they scissored them all".
Well... as if that ain't funny enough, think about this... wtf has she been typing that her autocorrect would see a mistyped "stroked" and go for "scissored" ?
She tried to contact the site and the Park manager thanked her for drawing his attention to it, and said he would sort it, cos otherwise they'd attract a totally different type of client. The review couldn't be edited.
I mean like jeez she's so freakin funny.
When we got married we wrote our own vows. We borrowed heavily from the Bible and other sources. There is a passage I read that said that I take thee with blemish. The day we got married she got this giant zit on her chin. It was so big and red it could not be hidden. It showed up in the pictures.
When we read our vows and we got to the part about taker her with blemish I looked at the big zit and she saw me look at it. We almost cracked up right on the altar.
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We play off that Lubalin song as actual dialogue all the time.
"Ugh, I have to drag the PA up the stairs. And it weighs over 15,000 pounds."
"1500?"
"Nope, add another zero to that."
"There's no way it could be that much."
"Babe, it came with papers telling me its weight."
"The record for weight is 3,336. In England."“You touched my tonsils!” Fairly obvious one with an ex. I’d say it in public and she’d get redfaced.
When me and my mother see somebody doing something really stupid we just make eye contact and have this nonverbal communication and start laughing
oh one of our inside joke is KWOSSSOOONN
He asked me to say croissant one day. I was telling him how I purposely say Kwosson instead of croissant the regular way just to fit in here and he started telling me about the kwosson meme on youtube
we just randomly started saying KWOSSOOON after that
so we do that now😂😂😂😂
You really want to know about an INSIDE JOKE? Okay, whenever something went wrong or not as planned, my ex-boyfriend would say “could be worse, at least we’re not upside-down!”. You had to be there!
With my first girlfriend it wasn't a joke but we'd say sweet nothings to each other in Polish
My second girlfriend wore Chanel Mademoiselle which in my opinion smelt like Turkish delight so that was my nickname for herSometimes I turn my read receipts off on him. 🤷🏻♀️😂 that’s about it
Shake and bake. It’s from one of our favorite movies
No s/o, but we were on vacation in Italy and he was always asking for a toothpick in restaurants in italian and then walking around with it in his mouth and I was like get that out and he was like no its healthy.. so I started to call him toothpick in Italian.. which he was not so amused by I think, but it will be his forever nickname..
This coffee scene lmao. 🤣
https://www.youtube.com/embed/-skZx5liyaMOne inside joke with my crush used to be that I couldn't read since I ignored measurement lines on a bag of rice.
She was being an idiot wearing a Satan necklace and she was getting all bitchy and trip was going down, I said “get that fuxking devil shit outa here.” It started going better after that and the trip went away.
Never had a partner so I'll go with random friend. I just drop lines from Neil Breen movies and it cheers her up.
She's a terrible person and tho she denies it - deep down inside - she knows it.
There's something to be said about a mother who's been disowned by their own kids.mm don't really have any honestly lol
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HEATER...“I can buy anything I want”
that he's not real hah
The fuck is a significant other?
“Fish”
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