Even though I passed his tests, is it ok to still be upset?

[Anonymous]

I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has done a couple tests on me; it was either setting up his friend to hit on me, purposely leaving money on the floor, lying about being broke once, etc.

I overheard him saying I've passed all the tests needed for the next stage (his wording) and that now I'm trusted but here is the issue:

I'm super pissed off and hurt how little to no trust there is in the relationship. I don't think I'm in the mood to welcome any surprise from him by now. I'm so hurt. I was excited like any woman about that moment but if he were to ask the question, now my answer is a NO.

Why be in the relationship if you have to play games? While most of my friends agree what he did was wrong, someone said he just wanted to make sure. I'm furious. Is it ok to still be upset.

Yes

No

Updates

1 y

Now I'm not excited anymore. I don't want any surprise anymore. I want nothing. I feel like I can't be with someone that doesn't trust me. Why even make me your girlfriend if you don't trust me and needed to do tests to see if I'm deemed ok for the next level.

[SecretsofKB]

I literally did not read one word from your description... and I didn't have to.

There should be NO tests in any relationship. That is not healthy. Period. End of discussion.

I hope you reevaluate your relationship with him. I've been cheated on in the past. Really hurt. But I've never tested any of my partners after that.

[Asker]

He wanted to test me if I'm marriage material according to him. He and one of his friend were in the set-up the whole time. He told his friend that I've passed and therefore deemed marriage material. My answer right now is a NO if he were to ask me the question. Now I'm not looking forward for the day anymore.

[SecretsofKB]

And that should be something you tell him.

[yucychan]

Yes. You have every right to be upset.

There will always be another test from him. It's very demeaning.

[IAteTwoFullHams]

I guess at this point you only have one test for him, not three: if he can understand how wrongheaded and insulting his tests were, if he can express that in a way that shows he understands why, and if he can offer you a true and heartfelt apology, there might be a path forward for this relationship.

[Shamalien]

You’ve probably set many tests for him without even knowing it, every woman does. Oh but when men do it there’s a huge issue 😂 grow the fuck up

[Asker]

I think it's insulting for people to be playing games and doing tests on relationships. Either there is trust or there isn't.

[Shamalien]

Yeah that’s a load of shit. I’ve never met a woman that doesn’t do tests. I 100% guarantee you have done tests on him in some way. You need to get to know someone after all. I once had a girl test me, so I pulled the exact same test on her, and she got super offended. Typical

[faithgrace4u]

I think you should trust him he just wanted to see what you'd do see if you are selfish how much you care im sure everyone does it once in a while

[GreatnessBack]

Why are you even dating this guy? He's a psycho. Not actually, but still.
If he can't trust you as you are now, then he'll never trust you.

[Asker]

I'm too pissed off and sad right now that not even a proposal will fix it. In fact if he were to ask, my answer is NO. I was excited for the day but now I'm not looking forward anymore. I'm sooo mad.

[GreatnessBack]

Apart from being mad, this is manipulative behavior.
He'll probably do some fucked up shit, but then use these tests to put you in complacency.
Just leave and leave now.

[In_Trance]

Tests? This isn't a relationship, this is a science project

[Asker]

yeah I feel hurt and insulted. I'm not looking for the day (if he were to ask the question) anymore.

[marmalademan]

I think its okay to test trust but if that requires going behind someones back doesn't that just defeat the purpose of the test lmao

[Anonymous]

As someone who wants to fk u I'll oh no he shouldn't do that to you bla bla, but as him ofc he should do since women will use any opportunity to cheat on you

[Asker]

so what's next... people should go single and have nothing to do with relationships? If there is no trust and seems more people are playing chess with each other (trying to see who gets checkmated) why even bother be in a relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

Because most people is liars and shit and doesn't worth our trust so instead of being with them forever we need to know if they are trustworthy or not, and me personally I won't trust any girl anymore

[Anonymous]

Do breakup who stopping you instead of writing long paragraph on social media..✌️

[ElementoP]

Your boyfriend is a fucking child and so are you. Fuck off you stupid bitch

[Asker]

You didn't have to be rude and fuck you too.

[MikeInHawaii]

Now you know how men feel about being shit tested.