I've never had a traditional relationship and those i have had have been nothing but toxic except for one woman i wish i could have married. In another life where she had been raised in a loving family maybe we would have had a chance but she wasn't. Every night i climb into bed but then i feel my arms being empty and a small art of my winces in pain. Now that I've had sex i dont even care about "getting laid" it was an unpleasant experience that ruined it for me. Its the lack human connection that keeps me down. I want to hold a woman in my arms and feel her breathing against my chest as she falls asleep. I want to start the morning with a cup of coffee and someone i love accross from me to talk to. I want look forward to comming home to someone who makes my eyes dialate upon seeing them instead of an empty home. I've slowly begun making peace with the idea of having to get used to this since I've been unlucky in love but sometimes i still find myself stawring blankly at a wall and for lack of a better term fantasising about the idea of comming home to a lover in bed i can wrap my arms around. Is that normal for lonely people?
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