Why my boss is such a bitch to me?

[WizzardGirl]

So... it happened again

Me and my boyfriend work together.

He was helping her move some wood samples to another box and he asked her if she could hold some, since his hands were full. She denied and said:"Im not Jess to hold it..."

Jess is Me!

So wtf did she mean? So its not good to help your coworkers now? Or whats the problem? We all help each other and not because its me or him, all the coworkers we help each other all the damn time!!

Why she said it to him?

[kmg9150]

Because your letting her/it be. Simple dont take her words personal when directed in that manner. If she says something that will cost your job and is untrue, then yea so what you need to so that who matters sees she is full of sheet. In all, she wants a reaction, a rise in your emotion, for whatever reason it may be, she may not even know. Just because she is married dont mean she couldnt have an attraction to your man. Which will often result in resentment towards you before she shows signs directly towards him.


All in all, dont take it personal, dont ask for her help unless its something only she is capable of, and he should do the same. Sometimes people think they are entitled to not doing the same work or assisting their "subordinates" with theirs. Just take more time to doing if she stands there not wanting to help. You could have asked her what that is supposed, not bring you into a situation you werent even a part of. Then deal HR, or a Department of the state if she is able to fire you and does. The most defense you have is she fired you because your gender or sexual preference. He can say something to her as well, like "Whats that mean" or "Is that supposed to be an insult to my girlfriend." a lot of times if you question stupid comments like that they won't know how to respond and if they do the reason will prove they were dumb for doing so.


If she receive the attention for being pig headed, then she would eventually stop being one. Think about it, do you continue to do things that produce results you dont want? Besides going a job that has you wishing you werent on your way to. Stop letting her control your happiness.

[WizzardGirl]

I feel like she hates me
Because when she talks to me she is all sweet and shit, calls me honey sweety and all that
But when she see him with me she becomes furious even ber face changes, especially when he shows so attention to me
Like today one girl accused me of something i didn't
And he deffended me and this bitch stsrted to say "dont defend her you were not there you dont know"
I mean... she could just shut up or call Me and ask what really happened
But no, he deffends me and she attacks me

[WizzardGirl]

She also comments about me being stuck up and think higj of myself
Which is a lie
I was well educated to respect people and keep my head high, i dont need to humiliate others in order to feel myself better

[kmg9150]

You also dont need to let people who ultimately can't see themselves in a positive way. We often project onto other the way we feel and see ourselves (except some really dont see it still). Stop, breathe and step out of your role in the situation. How would you say your going about this, how is it affecting you and your man, will it change anything, how does it affect your boss, do think there is a better perception to have.

Other people thoughts of you are not who you are... she can say it to a thousand people, some may believe her some may not, some will make no judgement, but it doesn't change who you are... if people make judgement based on her perception, then they aren't good people to have in your life anyway. Your working and worried to much on pleasing other peoples perception.

Your man could have said Oh ok well if I wasn't there then why are you telling this in the first place. If you dont have something nice to say, then I dont care to hear it, its immature to try and make people look bad when they aren't around to take their own defense...

As I mentioned before just be prepared for any outcome, even if he dont say anything she wig out on either of you...

People like that you simply need to inform them in a polite way being clear to point out there behavior and letting them know you want no part of... if she continues to do so, act as though she is not even talking. And repeat to her about not wanting to hear it...

Now stop, close your eyes, take a few slow deep breaths... and imagine how miserable her life is that this is how she chooses to behave.. no smelling the flowers, feeling a breeze, seeing the sun rise, watching it set... she would rather waste it creating negative energy... by now you should feel sorry for her. Regardless of good or bad her life has really been, thats what she thinks about it.

My suggestion is start mediating and work to strengthen your emotional intelligence. I used to feel the same way.

[WizzardGirl]

I will try it but my boyfriend gets nervoys and angry everytime she says some shit
Yesterday i bought Camel for my other coworker, when arrived i asked him:hey you know where silvia is? I need to give her cigarettes
Then he turns around and shouts for silvia in a hallway itch boos hears him (i think she heard us, hiding behind other wall) and screams at him:"is it for the cigarette? is it necessary to call her now?"
Wtf dude

[kmg9150]

Well in all honesty, he needs to grow a pair and was it necessary? Was screaming down the hallway something you guys normally do? Ill be straight up honest to something I feel you and him should do, find some videos or books on developing a higher level of emotional intelligence do some meditation and learn to love yourself on a deeper level. Once you do that you'll be able to not let other people control your happiness. Think about it, if you get work up everytime something like this happens, thats a lot of wasted energy and time which could have been spent elsewhere.. You can't control the way she acts, stuff she says, which is what your wanting. You can control your perspective and how you choose to respond. Just as she talks about people behind their backs, isn't that where you time has been going recently also? We may not know her but doesn't change the fact...

[WizzardGirl]

Lately he is all over the place
I dont know whats wrong with him
He acts weird
Nervous
Like crazy
Like something is about to blow up
I dont understand him
Emotionally he is going through some shit
I dunno what it is

[WizzardGirl]

No it wasn't necessary he did it on his own and he tried to help me
Because i asked him if he knows whre silvia is
I didn't ask him to scream
It was silly
I dunno why he did it

[kmg9150]

Its not so much that he did, its whether or not its ok at your place of employment. I used to work construction, the things we would talk about wouldn't be acceptable in a lot other establishments. Your boss shouldn't be talking bad about you guy, behind your back or to face unless its that type of enviroment, ever thought she might be in her head she's doing it jokingly trying to seem part of the group? But she still has to be a boss, because she isn't really being a bitch if someone yells down a hallway and its not normal thing that goes on. He prolly needs does have something on his mind and dont know how talk about it. A lot of people have this feeling because they arnt used to it, for a variety of reasons. Maybe bring it up but I still think some self discovery would do both of you great. Learn to accept what you can't change and chAnge what you can. Remember no one perfect and you never know what someone is or has gone through. Gotta be happy and not let others have the power to take that away.

[WizzardGirl]

Thanks a lot
Very smart

[WindAtMyBack]

A lot of bosses aren't good bosses. No matter what the job, some people are better at it than others. Same with bosses.

Something you don't hear about much any more is The Peter Principle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle It might not be true 100% of the time, but there is a certain amount of truth to it.

People become boss for various reasons. It might be their own business. In that case it's automatic. They might be successful at starting and running a business, but suck at being a boss. It might be the case of The Peter Principle. They might have been good at their previous job, then got a promotion to boss but sucked at being a boss. Maybe they were friends with the higher boss, or maybe they kissed ass to get a promotion.

There are a lot of reasons, but the bottom line is that some people suck at being a boss... and almost no one is perfect at it.

[kmg9150]

Nice insight, thanks for the link.

[CrazyGirl2]

You work there, you’re dating him, and you are supervised every day by her…. If you don’t know, how the hell are strangers on the internet possibly going to know the in’s and out’s, and more importantly the why’s of your working relationship?

[Anonymous]

She's ignorant. Doesn't know because nobody ever taught her. Listen... Listen...
DO NOT TRY TO TEACH HER. Understand it is super hard to change yourself let alone someone else. Don't try. Go straight to someone who can actually do something about it or leave that place and when you leave tell them the reason why when they ask.

[WizzardGirl]

But why?

[Opinion Owner]

What she thinks about you is none of your business. How she treats you however is.

[WizzardGirl]

Well
She treats me like shit
Like i own her smth and talk bad to my boyfriend

[bowenw]

She's a jerk and could be jealous of you and your boyfriend.

[WizzardGirl]

But why the jealousy? why this somments it has 0 sense

[bowenw]

She may wish she had your boyfriend.

[WizzardGirl]

No way... she treats him lile son she is 11 years older
She has her husband working with us as 2nd boss

[WizzardGirl]

Before we were dating she was saying how bad he needs a good girlfriend... now that he has one she doesn't like it
Wtf is her problem

[bowenw]

It sounds like she's on a power trip and is a mean-spirited person.

[WizzardGirl]

What power trip means

[bowenw]

Here is a definition I found:

A sustained and often aggressive exercise of power over others in order to boost one's stature or feelings of self-worth.

[WizzardGirl]

Worthless cunt

[bowenw]

✅✅ 😂

[Xtendable]

She’s either jealous you’re with him, or jealous of the relationship

[WizzardGirl]

Im 32... he 44... she 55...
She is married her husband is our second boss
Why tho? we are professionals we behave ourselfs

[Xtendable]

Yeah, but her behaviour isn’t normal. Maybe she’s jealous because you and your man are happy

[WizzardGirl]

What kind of monster would be angry at That? jesus christ
We dont even talk about personal life
Its like if we were Just coworkers
We never kiss nothing

[20yearsolder]

Because she's a cunt

[WizzardGirl]

So nasty

[Anonymous]

She's probably just a natural born bitch.

[WizzardGirl]

Is jeaolusy?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, that too.

[WizzardGirl]

Why? im 35 she 55

[Anonymous]

Because she is the bosshole.