Do you think cheaters feel guilty about what they have done?

[coachTanthony]

Yes deep down

No they don't

see poll ( Happy Friday Coach )

[Moose304]

I recently spoke to a young lady who has cheated on her Navy husband. This man is a Naval Aviator assigned to a Norfolk Based Strike Group. I actually came upon her sitting on a bench in Virginia Beach watching an airshow. I was not in VAbeach for that purpose but knew about it. Her husband had discovered she had cheated while he was gone on deployment. The guilt was so heavy she was not waiting for him when his squadron returned to Oceana. She left a note on their table with her wedding ring. I only asked her one question. Would you do it again? Yes, was her reply. I made one last comment as I walked away. I simply told her to leave the poor guy alone and not take anything and called her what she is, a pure POS! I will never forget watching her look up as one of the Blue Angels was flying overhead. The question in my opinion is not do they feel guilty. It's will they accept accountability and grow the hell up!

[coachTanthony]

Yikes

[Moose304]

Yikes is right. When a strike group returns after a 3+ month-long deployment it takes about 90 days for the divorces to get filed. I already know about 3 marriages about to implode and several girlfriends showed the door. I will be watching a football game today with one of the 3 men and some other friends. At least in his case, his STD testing came back clean!

[William7489]

It’s one of the strangest questions out there. A lot of it depends on the nature of the cheating. If it’s a more emotionally-based affair that ends up physical, the type that most females have, there is regret but it is superseded by the affair euphoria. It’s only Stopped when the person is usually caught in reality of what they’re about to lose finally settled in. When the person is in the middle of an exciting, daring and passionate affair with a stranger doing risqué things, they tend to throw reality to the wind. Even though deep in their mind they know they’re doing something wrong.

[DermalPunch]

They are 1 weak. 2 lack integrity. 3 selfish. They are the types that often have low self esteem and need endless external validation. They always want to be viewed as amazing in people's eyes. Hence the cheating... a new person who thinks they're so awesome. So then they get caught or are forced into a corner where they can't lie about it anymore and now someone in front of them doesn't think they're amazing. So they feel bad about this. Again, from a place of selfishness.

I would same shame but not guilt unless they are trying to truly change. Or someone touches them in a way where they want to be selfless.

[DermalPunch]

Oh I forgot. They are extremely immature.

[Haha456]

if they truly felt it was wrong , they wouldn't have done it in the first place.

secondly, many people would hate me for saying this, but I will say it:

if someone cheats on you, it usually means there is something severely wrong or lacking in your relationship. Happy people in fulfilling relationships do not usually tend to cheat. 90% of the time, the victim who is being cheated on is not pulling their weight in the relationship or that they aren't the right person for the cheater.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'm not so sure. Even the ones that "confess" or "say" they feel guilty, expect forgiveness usually thinking there should be no consequences for telling the truth and that don't sound so "feel guilty" to me🤷🏼‍♀️

[savagewolf22]

No one cheat 50yr oldies...
You're safe.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@savagewolf22 I'm safe cuz don't date/not in a relationship... Not the shit people be on these days...20 years with a good man, if that's the last for me, well a lot of people don't get that, and I was fortunate enough that I did

[hIopinionated_]

^ The savagewolf person is trying to manipulate you. Don’t listen to him. No woman is safe

[William7489]

I think your problem could be the men that I’ve cheated on you. Much like myself, I have been stunned at the lack of empathy or remorse at a few of the women that have stepped out on me. And remember it’s up to you to enforce consequences. if they are not sincerely sorry, if they do not appreciate your presence in Their life, then make them appreciate your absence.

[Avatar74]

I think its a tale of two halves, some guys or women who cheat would probably feel that they have made a mistake by seeing someone else and genuinely feel guilty and remorseful.

Other side of the coin you get some who are serial adulterers who would cheat again and again without feeling the slightest hint of guilt.

[coachTanthony]

I think guilt is two fold. Guilty for getting caught and guilty for disrespecting he person they supposedly love.

[Rei02]

In the end, that depends on the person. Some have their morals very up that guilt will reach them sooner or later; others who feel guilty the first times, but later they get used to it that the guilt and the shame become something of the past; and others who don't feel remorse since the first time.

[Screenwriter]

I expect some do and some don't.

My theory is that people feel guilty AFTER they're caught. If they felt guilty beforehand, they wouldn't cheat.

But the payoff for cheating is pretty high: have your cake and eat it too... So people keep on with it until they're found out and things fall apart.

[KelleyNice]

Not likely. For men, it is just sex; no big deal. And, women have evolved, when ovulating to seek out the best genes for their eggs and, except for Alpha females that already have a mate with the best genes, that is not their mate. Therefore, why should women feel guilty for choosing what is best for their eggs and potential children?

[RiseofArtemis]

Cheating should be a death sentence, doesn't matter the gender. A married women who cheats should be shot, just like a married man that cheats.

[ShadezMcgee]

I say most don't. I believe the one's who do cheat are the one's who immediately tell their partner about it.

[coachTanthony]

Do you think they tell them in hopes of forgiveness so they feel better about themeselves?

[ShadezMcgee]

Possibly, but I would imagine the ones that do so have more integrity. Usually most people try to hide their infidelity because of the repercussions that follow and only come clean with irrefutable evidence against them.

Those that come forth are either ignorant with wishful thinking of forgiveness and to save face. But for some I would say that guilt overwhelms them and they want to come forth to get closure and comprehend what they have done

[katiesmuff]

Yes I am sure some of them do and many of them do not. I know of a couple of cases where the cheater felt guilty after, confessed to her husband and they were able to work it out and survive saving their marriage.

[Pleaznhim4me]

When they get caught. They may mistake the discomfort of being uncomfortable and having to take accountability for the feeling of guilt. That does not mean that they are sorry or that they won’t do it again.

[Finchie40]

Depends on why they cheated in the first place , but all in all we can’t stop someone from cheating on us but we can stop being with them period , If a girl cheats on me I kick her to the curb and won’t take her back

[hIopinionated_]

For the most part, as long as they justify it in their heads, I don’t believe so. We humans can be pretty damn selfish so pretty sure most people justify taking advantage of their partner


“It was only once”
“They’re ok with it”
“It’s fun”


Etc

[JamesDiaz11]

I want to say yes, and I will, because I cheated and I feel guilty about it, but I don't really feel guilty for doing it (it was just sex) I feel guilty about it because she found out and feels horrible about it. I feel very bad that I made her feel bad.

Otherwise, I don't have any qualms with having sex with other women regardless of my relationship status.

[Anonymous]

No. Mean maybe some may feel some remorse but I guarantee you she'll quickly follow it up with well, he drove me to this". Because cheaters erroneously see themselves as the victim. Because the simply just care about themselves. It's selfishness plain and simple. There is NO justification for cheating on your partner!

[RobT312]

Yeah I did. Never wanted hurt feelings even though the relationship was over…I should have broken up before cheating ! If I were to do it all over again that’s the change I would have made

[RolandCuthbert]

I would always feel guilty afterwards. I just couldn't get there before. I think I would purposefully avoid thinking about the consequences.

[D_Bone_Steak]

They only feel guilty about being caught or the consequences... otherwise, they masturbate about it on the toilet.

[petitedollbabee]

Guilty for cheating? No. Guilty for getting caught? Sometimes.

[RiseofArtemis]

Cheaters don't deserve to be forgiven, they deserve the bullet.

[Anonymous]

It’s odd when I read cheating stories.. in my country it’s common that men fool around after men get married. After a while they get bored. That’s why. And I heard that white people are opposite that married women sleep around with different guys.

[Guy13]

No they do not. The feel pissed that they got caught and have to act sorry…

[Guy13]

Proper Guilt and Shame manifests itself in repentance and fixes. Here’s my password list. Put phone in foyer. Not get pissed if looked through, emails, Social Media etc.

One who initiates those sort of relational reforms is one who firstly Cares about said relationship and secondly knows Guilt and Shame.

[msc545]

As a former serial cheater, I did all of that stuff to lull my partner into complacency, and then went ahead and cheated anyway, except more carefully.

[Guy13]

@msc545 Congratulations for exemplifying your Nature. It is a fight not doing or being what our Nature is. Spiritual ⁉️

[RiseofArtemis]

They only feel bad once they are caught. Cheaters only deserve death.

[AsaKyo]

Some do, some don't
Just depends

Are you participating in this, @coachTanthony? Hmmm? You're asking about this a good degree 😏