What were some insensitive responses people gave you when you shared your problems with them?

[Bethany22]

Whether it was your partner you shared your problems with, your parents, or your friends, what were some things that they said that made you feel invalidated or ignored or too sensitive? What do you wish they had said instead?

[TheUniqueOne96]

'Everyone's got issues with that.'

'I don't care about your friend'

'It didn't stop you from doing XYZ anyway.'

'You're mentally weak.'

Getting laughed at when I mentioned how something displayed by the person in question, affected me before in a negative way.

The person is a narcissist with an agenda against me and is against me no matter what and I don't talk to them anymore, which is probably the best thing that's ever happened in the last few years.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

When I tried helping my first girlfriend when she was sick with an ear infection her stepdad told her that I made bad decisions... They talked about me behind my back but said nothing to my face this really hurt me... That is why our relationship did not work and when she sees me to this day she gives me dirty looks and does not speak at all but this happens I'm better off single than ever to date her again.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :-)

[melanieeeB]

Mostly people don't seem to really listen and give advice that was not needed or asked for and I will explain that this wasn't my point and them just "oh it will get better".. i could've talked to a wall; or them making me feel crazy for pointing out something (I was always right!) or I got insulted for feeling a certain way

[Sorrento-Sun]

Yeas ago, when I was really struggling with depression I confided in my mum. She'd either walk away and be busy, or just say 'I wish I could help, but don't know how to' . I didn't want help as such. I just wanted a cuddle and a listening ear. I felt she didn't care, but it was more likely that she just didn't understand

[Chris_Morgan]

When I was younger I was told by my family that I'm too honest (As in I always try to do the right thing and wouldn't steal a penny from anyone ever, and I cared about everyone). My mother said I'm honest to a fault, and my older brother said that there's something wrong with me and other people aren't like that.

I felt like I was being encouraged to be a shittier person, lol.

[jeffiner]

I think, no matter what the situation is, the MOST DISGUSTING AND CARELESS thing ANYONE can say is "things happen for a reason" .

[Bethany22]

Interesting, I generally feel comforted when people say that to me. It's as if they are saying it's not my fault?

[jeffiner]

Without an explanation of why it happened though? I see it like this; To feel comfort is one thing, but to have an understanding is another. To understand why something happened helps us better prevent it from happening again. It helps us see where and what within ourselves we can/should improve. I get that things happen for a reason, but knowing the reason helps me see what I should try to do differently next time (when applicable).
It's like when people say, "pray to jesus and ask him for his help" or "god did it" .. praying doesn't actually do anything, neither does god. You have to actually physically get up and do something in order to achieve the results you're hoping for. Albeit give the right answers in an interview, go to work to get the bills paid, be proactive when getting sober.
Religion is a comfort, not and answer.
But I digress, as we are not talking about religion lol. Its just an example.
Finding comfort when told things happen for a reason is totally acceptable, but when it happens again, will you be satisfied when it's said to you again?

[jeffiner]

May I ask what insensitive thing has been said to you?

[Bethany22]

I agree that if it is always the person's response, than yes that is insensitive. Mine's similiar to the anonymous person who responded "Just talk to girls and you'll find a girlfriend". I understand why he chose to say that anonymously, as I'm also afraid of getting discovered if I openly give details of my own negative autistic experiences. Annoyingly, these people are often slightly autistic themselves, but they give unsolicited advice that implies that you're hopeless

[jeffiner]

I'm sorry that you have experienced such immature, ill-mannered and biased comments from people who know nothing of what they are speaking.
I'm sure that we can all relate.
Can I ask you a [for a lack of better words] cliché question?
Do YOU believe you are hopeless?
I'm also going to make an assumption and say that you don't, am I right? (I make that assumption because people who think they are hopeless usually dont seek advice or opinions or someone else's experience to a similar situation).
?

[Bethany22]

I usually try to keep a positive attitude. I like hearing other people with similar situations. Sadly for me though, while I find many autistic or socially awkward guys, girls not as often

[jeffiner]

Staying positive is the best way to be, so long as there's logic with it also. I was a caregiver for 10 years. My clients had a mix of mental, physical and behavioral handicaps. Patience is the one thing that is a MUST in that line of work, with the next being self control.. sadly many people do not have any of either one.
The point I'm getting at is that Autism is just as 'patience testing' for the one who lives with it as it is for the ones who are trying to understand and aide them.
I don't know what it's like to be in the head of someone with autism, but I do see the frustrations they can have with themselves as well as the world around them.
I know that you've not asked for any advice, so I want you to know that I I say this with passion and from my heart.. if you could be patient with yourself and instead of trying to compare your behaviors/other people's reactions to you, and instead come to understand your inner self, then what anyone else says and how other people react to you will be easier for you to take in stride.
You have the upper hand on everyone, you have the opportunity to understand from the inside out while everyone else can only react from the outside.
Autism is widely misunderstood, but so are all other mental conditions. All mental conditions give us an opportunity to see the world from a higher perspective than everyone else because they come with struggles and set backs and inner turmoils... Those things make us strong but only when we understand them from the inside.
You're trying to figure life out just like everyone else, the difference though is that you get start a few steps ahead of everyone else. 💯💜
I hope I didn't babble on or make you upset.

[Bethany22]

Thank you 💕

[jeffiner]

You're very welcome 💜 xoxo

[Agape93]

That pedophiles who don't act on it are harmless and shouldn't be shamed.

I went off on the Schweineficker. He knew better and stepped on a major fucking landmine

[Anonymous]

I had a dad who would always say no to matter how serious it was. Then I don't care.. afterwards tell me how much he loved me.. Left me homeless for years. I don't have a family. He sabotaged my intire life from birth. A narcissist. He then would brag about how much he loved me to everyone. Lies..

[ConspiracyTheorist]

That's stupid, quit being a bitch and probably some more and I don't know what I wish was said instead but anything would've been better

[NathanDavis]

I have not experienced that... fortunately

my friends are cool people

[BJP21]

From my former girlfriend:

Go ask your bitch sister or your bitch mom. She didn't like my family.

Or woke me up at 3am in the morning just to say F^&* YOU!

[bowenw]

Big boys don't cry. Grow a pair. Be a man. Chin up. Wuss.

[Havthrills]

"You will figure it out" or "grow a pair"

[maximumpower]

"It's your fault - you put her through hell."
Strangely enough, they'd only heard her part of the story...

[Anonymous]

that i'm annoying. never told him my problems again after that.

[dudeinohio]

I'm usually not trusting enough. I keep things to myself.

[msc545]

"Get over it" is a common shitty response

[HiddenKryptonite]

It's not what they say that gets me, it's their reactions in the face that I can't get out of my head.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to girls and you'll find a girlfriend.

[Bethany22]

I agree that's pretty insensitive

[Opinion Owner]

Especially when you have autism. Like I do.

[Aiming]

One guy listen curiouslly XD to have something against me.

[virginloserguy]

I do not tell people my business.

[J2ohhhhh]

"Sorry to hear that."

[Andres77]

Its not my problem

[Andres77]

We were divorced shortly afterwards

[admles]

"harden up princess"

[Anonymous]

I don't share problems.

[jamartheg]

I don’t share problems

[Alex8736]

Self induced? 🤯