Girls, Why do you nowadays hate nice/good guys?

Question

Almost every woman around me seems to hate good guys nowadays. I get comments like "guys like you are only good after thirty", and "I am a not-so-good girl, you will be better with a good girl".

I was like this forever, during high school I used to volunteer in medical camps in school and outside remote area camps. During college and even now I have worked with many animal shelters, teaching in schools in remote areas, work with blind and deaf people.

Most women here and on other social media post about how much they hate nice guys. Heard friends saying most girls want guys who are bad to everyone but only good to them. Guys and friends who do drugs , and roam around in cars/bikes every day, seem to have no issues with women. Even the so-called good girls are attracted to them even if they know that they already have girlfriends.

Most girls see guys like me as boring for my personality but I tend to have other creative hobbies and they are never enough with my personality. I am hating the idea that everyone just wanna settle with me after 30 but doesn't see me as a dating option when they are young. I am 26 now.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No girls hate them. But if it’s a guy who claims he’s a nice guy it’s psychologically proven they’re not and there are articles on the topic. No girls like push over guys and no guys like push over girls. Simple.

Genuinely good men tend to be respectful of the boundaries of women. If they ask a girl out and she says “No” then he moves on simple. If they are talking to the girl they like , they don’t gaslight them with things or try to manipulate them by saying things to victimize themselves. They’ll talk to the girl with sincerity and allows her to speak when it’s her turn. And I know some guys are going to absolutely hate me for saying this on here but if you follow Andrew Tates rules and videos, you’re not going to get very far. Genuinely good guys despise him and would rather get educated by real relationship content creators with legal credentials that prove they have the skills and knowledge over the topics (psychology). So really, women don’t hate good guys, they hate the fake/manipulative men that want to seem that they are good guys.

So ask yourself, what are your true intentions with these women? Is it to get in bed with them? Is it just to show them off to your buddies and boost up your ego? Do you actually feel mentally prepared and mature enough to handle being in a relationship? (Communication, honesty, respect, etc.) Do you just want to get girls? Or do you want to FIND a girl to settle down with?
Dating is fun sure, but the majority of the people who are in the dating Pool are looking for someone to settle down with and don’t date just to date.

ch15hann · Accepted Answer

It’s hard honestly to define the term “nice guy”, it’s almost like defining a “nice person”. There really isn’t “bad guys” or “bad people” either, it’s that they have problematic behaviors/morals/personalities that most likely stem from people/environment/self and that don’t align with an individual. And it’s hard to distinguish what defines a guy as a “nice guy”; he could be a lasting relationship with someone that means “nice” or he could be a casual/hookup guy that means “nice” to someone else. As for me, when I define the term “nice”, I base guys off of their personality and morals. Looks too, but im assuming you’re mentioning about the inside, non-physical qualities. Actions speak louder than words, so when I spot a “nice guy” I look at what they do: Are they emotionally aware? Are they kind to everyone? And many more. Nice people never physically say they are nice, just like anyone beautiful or smart do not state they are beautiful or smart. These qualities are usually observed by other people and that’s what makes people who are “nice” standout. I don’t hate “nice/good guys”, it’s just if a genuinely nice person begins to approach me and show obvious signs of romantic interest, I often already become suspicious and assume they have a motive that’s beside platonic friendships, it’s too much forwardness for me but others may think otherwise. I do, however, draw a line between “nice” and “immature” when guys can’t read the room (not being self-aware) and continue to approach despite me saying no several times.

BlueScorpio · Answer

No where sick of men pretending to be nice or thinking being a respectful human being should automatically get them laid with little to no effort. We're also sick to death men crying this bullshit mantra about women only wanting bad boys the second they can't pull a woman they want. Just cause she's not into you doesn't mean she wants an asshole, she's simply just not into you and that's okay. There will be other women, she's not the only one and if she really is the type to fool around with guys with bad rep, why would you want her? Pick and choose better as you tell us.

We know when a guy is being authentic and when he's just bullshitting, the second he politely decline, the nice guy act is cut and the real asshoke comes out. Rhata the difference between real assholes and nice guys aka asshokes undercover. They at least have the spine to show who they really are cause they are just that confident. Gain the confidence without the assholery and trickery and you will have much better luck.

AliciaLee · Answer

There are a lot of women that like nice guys. I understand what your saying and I agree its pretty insane that someone would go after guys that are not good for them. But everyone learns at different rates. I think you will find your special lady very soon. Always have hope and keep being yourself. When the right woman comes along she will love you very much. Your the kind of guy that a lot of women dream of. The sensitive understanding and very sweet guy. I just saw a comment on another question, that said just that today. Just give it time.

melanieeeB · Answer

Super honest out of my experience men that call themselves a nice guy are mostly the nastiest, lying dude out there lol

The "nice guy" mostly just acts a certain way in the hopes of getting pussy, then go be mad, cause one girl wasn't interested... nothing about that is nice or honest or even respectful

Subarugirl · Answer

This should answer your question.

The phrase “nice guys finish last” is often used to describe the fact that women seemingly say they go for “nice guys” but actually go for jerks. In the face of struggle, certain dissatisfied men use the tactic they know best: Be nice. The issue here is that it's a tactic and not authentic. They may depend on external validation, rely on attachments, women's approval, or conceal their shortcomings out of insecurity. Their niceness generally comes with strings attached. This kind of co dependent, behavior isn't authentic or healthy and inauthenticity it easily spotted. There is often some sort of lack of boundaries or the inability to maintain boundaries. Then when things fall apart he is left where he started except this time he feels like he has been taken advantage of and attract narcissists.

Women aren't actually into "bad boys": My take on dating and narcissism - GirlsAskGuys

Vesuvius87 · Answer

Usually people who called themselves nice are up to something. They aren't genuinely nice without expecting anything in return. There is always a catch. That means he's not really a nice guy after all.

LazerBean · Answer

Because men who refer to themselves as nice guys typically say stupid pretentious shit like, "I've volunteered at lots of shelters, I should be able to have sex with any woman I want!"

And usually are not even actually good or nice.

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

Its not enough to be nice, there's far more to matchmaking than that. Similar personalities, lifestyle, goals, values, beliefs, and physical attraction. Being nice is not an automatically past go collect $200. Its one piece of the puzzle. Surface level dating is what keeps a lot of "nice" guys lonely.

curlyfirecracker · Answer

Sorry you feel that way. I think the world is full of that and the latter. Many girls would read this and think, nope, no bad guys for me either been there or like to truly be appreciated and respected by a nice guy. Those girls you speak of, you don't want to waste your time anyway from the sounds of it. There are plenty of girls who would love someone like you and appreciate your caring, helpful heart. Don't change. Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places?

Kori1236 · Answer

I mean there’s a difference between nice guys and guys who think they deserve special treatment for doing something as basic as being a respectable person. And there are far too many ‘nice guys’ that really aren’t that nice at all. I love nice guys if they’re genuinely nice people and not just putting on an act to impress someone to get laid.

melloncolliehills · Answer

We don't

Most of the guys who claim they are a nice guy and are upset about getting rejected repeatedly by women, feel entitled to sex and relationships just because they are nice. You have to be attractive too. That's just the reality of sex and relationships, you are not going to get girls to sleep with you if they're not into you or attracted to you.

Girls, Why do you nowadays hate nice/good guys?

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