What should I do to make him love me again?

[Anonymous]

first of all hello! I have been in a relationship for two years and I love him very much, but there are always arguments. these discussions actually turn into arguments while talking to solve the problem. According to my boyfriend, I'm the one who started these arguments. I'm talking to solve the problem, but he always says ok and then does the same thing again and as a result, we fight again and again. We could get along before because he understood what I didn't like and didn't want, and he wouldn't do it again, like me. I don't know why it's different now, there was never even a separation issue between us. he started not caring about my feelings anymore, he said he would fix it and started not trying to fix it. When I asked him if he loved me anymore, he said he didn't love me as much as he used to. He said the problem was our arguments, so I said ok then we won't argue no matter what happens (anything bad) because I don't want him to leave me. It's been about a week, but I see that I'm the only one who has changed. I don't know how to explain, he doesn't act like we're lovers, he's rude, he doesn't care when I say words of love to him. Am I too addicted to attention, I don't understand, where did I go wrong? what should I do? It's healthier for us to break up, but I want to fix it instead of leaving him. What should I do to make him want it too?

[PositiveFlight]

This is a tough situation indeed. Love is not something that you can make someone feel. That goes of course in either direction. First and foremost, love requires absolute selflessness on the part of both. In a healthy relationship, both will allow the other to be who they are. Unfortunately that isn’t always compatible with the relationship. It sounds like you are trying to give of yourself and be loving. At this point he should either see that or he doesn’t want to see it. As long as you are giving him space and allowing him to be who and what he wants to be in life without placing conditions, then there isn’t anything more you can do. Gently remind him of this. Remind him that you are willing to love and be supportive of him. Remind him that you want to understand him better. If this still does not work, then release him from you. Sometimes when you love someone enough, you have to set them free which will test that love. If he loves you enough back, he will return when he finally wakes up and realizes his own love for you. Whatever you do though, don’t take advantage of that love if he does come back to you. You will both have to take a few steps back and assess yourselves in being good and giving towards each other in the relationship.

[AviatorTom]

Some arguments don't need a problem to solve... sometimes it's just two people venting their frustration, and not always because of each other. A bad day at work can trigger a heated argument that, in hindsight, is over nothing.

[LazerBean]

It's not going to get better if he doesn't want it to. Dumping is the best way to go at this point or you'll just waste more time

[Guy13]

can’t make another love you

[Pterodon]

Make yourself lovable is all you can do and the rest is up to the other

[Asker]

what do you mean lovable

[Iron_Man]

Just be loving and caring

[Asker]

i am but he is acting rude

[Iron_Man]

Hang in there