Does every guy have sexual fleeting thoughts of almost every girl they pass by? can you control it or not?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I just had an argument about this. He said its not his truth because he didn't choose it but it just happens. I feel like fleeting thoughts are still YOUR damn thoughts even if its slight or natural. I just feel like he didn't wanna admit it to it because he felt ashame or wrong. I was trying to be cool about it despite how much it hurts, I asked him again & again like what does that even consist of and how is that not even the truth.. I asked him to at least try to not do that out of respect. And then I asked if he has done that with my old roommates and if he thought they were attractive. (because in the past he made me felt uncomfortable by the way he looks at them and he denied thinking they were attractive). He was like probably but wouldn't answer the 2nd question and told me its 2am, its a waste of his energy or something like that.. its like wtf? I got really mad and stormed off saying he's fucking liar and he dont care because I felt like he's so selfish.. he only cares about his own feelings but not the fact he hurt my feelings and he was not wanting to be truthful... I went to shower and he even decided on his own to sleep outside our room to the living room. I was gonna do that but its whatever he did it first. Does all guys do this or is this just him? Can guys even control this?

[slatyb]

Of course we check out every woman we see. I'm happily married, but I still enjoy seeing an attractive woman. My wife is secure in our relationship. She points them out when she sees them.

You picked a fight over this? You need to get over this if you want to have a partnership.

[Asker]

Nuh I get it that there are other human being that are good looking. However my question is does every guy has SEXUAL fleeting thoughts about almost every girl?

[slatyb]

I enjoy seeing attractive women, I don't fantasize about leaving my partner to be with them. Someone fantasizing about leaving their current relationship should think carefully and then decide whether to stay and commit or to leave.

[Asker]

Thanks for explaining that part. But when you enjoy seeing attractive women, do you also have sexual fleeting thoughts? That’s all I wanna know since my boyfriend mentioned it and I just wanna figure out if this is all men or just him

[slatyb]

It's certainly sexual in a way. That's past of being a sexual animal. A bull exhausted from mounting a cow is invigorated if another cow is introduced.

[JPresidente]

Most guys just look at attractive women and check out the curves, that's it, especially if it's in passing like at a mall or something. Now in regards to your girl friends, those that he might see regular, it's possible he might have sexual thoughts if they're attractive but he also may not. Some guys control that side of ourselves that wonders what sex is like with someone else and some guys don't.

[Asker]

Thanks for explaining. For my boyfriend he said he tries to not let it happen but he still has fleeting thoughts of sexual thoughts.. like does that mean he don’t know how to control it? I asked if it’s like picturing someone naked or wanting to do something to someone, but he only said he don’t know or I don’t think he wanna tell me.. he also kept saying those aren’t his truth nor his thoughts cuz he just said it’s fleeting thoughts… he said he don’t spend time and energy of sexual thoughts. what do you think?

Everyone around me is good looking. Not that I care about it, but now it makes me feel like should I even be worry?

[JPresidente]

I wouldn’t stress too much about it as every guy has this issue. It only becomes a problem when you see him spend less time with you and maybe he takes an interest in someone else and maybe there’s secret texting and such. He’s probably being somewhat honest when he says he doesn’t spend too much time thinking about it. That’s true for most guys in that yeah we do wonder what a certain woman looks like naked or having sex with her but those are typical fleeting thoughts that might only occupy our mind for a brief period of time. I’d put this as something really low level to be worried about. You’re good. 👍

[Asker]

Does all guys have those fleeting thoughts? I told my boyfriend I feel like I’m not good enough for him that he has it esp when he’s with me when that happens… it hurts, but I’m tryna be open minded it happens sigh. He just says it happens randomly… and he only cares about me… he tries to forget it as soon as it comes as he has a hyper imagination… I guess the only probs I had is if he stares or watches another girl that it has caused us issues because it was a lot. So I don't know how to get over this? I did try to asked if it’s just women being naked or more but he only admit to the naked.. the more.. he wouldn’t answer.. but he also said he feels violated like I’m invading his thoughts.. it made me felt bad

[JPresidente]

Yeah most men have these thoughts as we are very visual and we are very sexual and it does occupy our thoughts a good bit. As we age, we get better at controlling it and not focusing on it too much and once we get out of our sexual prime (age 18-30), our testosterone levels go down and we don’t think as much about it. I’d try to be understanding about it and just keep an eye on things and try not to worry.

[In_Trance]

no, probably not

[Asker]

Sorry to which question?