It seems 99% of relationships fail. Do you agree or not?

[spice]

As I think and I see nowadays almost all the relationships are ending. What do you think can be the reason of this? Do you agree or do you think real love still exists.

[Summeroflove]

It seems 99% of relationships fail. Do you agree or not?

I think that many fail for multiple different reasons. Some reasons being that it’s not meant to be. Obviously it takes time to find someone whose right for you and you’re right for them. That doesn’t mean there is a problem per say with any individual involved.

It just means people aren’t compatible. Everyone has their own wants, needs, standards, and preferences as well as politics and religious views among other things.

There is also the case of sex. I think sex before marriage destroys relationships. Because when you move onto another person. You still have attachments to someone else. Then you have people who are sluts, hoes, and whores which by the way I’m talking about both male and female who are degenerates and just want to sleep around.

So using someone for sex in a nutshell as well as other reasons which as money and stuff because sure someone might be in a situation but other times they just are too lazy to make their own money.

Sure someone can be more traditional but there is a give and take. The woman doesn’t sit around with her thumb up her ass. Her man shouldn’t have to lift a finger when he comes home if he’s working and making all the money while she stays home.

But this is another topic before I get side tracked.

If someone is using someone they’re going to make a good person who enables them so miserable and eventually he or she finally just moved onto another person whose better or they attract another narcissist into the relationship and well…. When this happens. Let’s just say they deserve each other.

If someone is easy to sleep with. They’re also easy to cheat sooner or later. Especially if you’re cheating with someone or steal someone the chances of rhere being a affair or affairs is very high and you won’t even know what all happened or how long it’s been going on.

My best thing I can say is. Have high standards for yourself. But not unreasonable. You should know what your wants and needs are and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Even if it takes time it’s better then being with someone who is horrible.

Be honest not only for your own self. But you’re hurting someone worse stringing him along. Acting like you’re interested in him. When you’re really not.

It might not be a problem with either person. Just what you’re wanting isn’t the same. You should want him to find someone whose right for him as well as who he makes happy. Not to mention you also need to find the person whose right for you.

[caring__1]

The only true failure is the failure to act. Everything can be a learning experience. The problem comes from people not learning from their experiences, preferring to maintain dysfunctional patterns.

99% is unrealistically high, but it is true most people aren't satisfied with their relationships. I believe the main cause is the sense of entitlement people bring to their relationship. Focusing on "what's in it for me" will never lead to a healthy relationship and will only result in others reciprocating in kind. It's easy to blame others for our disappointment, yet nothing changes if we don't identify our own role in the problem and then alter our future behavior. Focusing on what we bring to the relationship (that is valued by our partner) rather than what we're entitled to receive is more likely to give us positive results.

People often enter relationships seeing what they want to see, blocking everything else out. Two factors are involved with our poor choices. First, people choose to get to know the other person slowly over time. That can lead to us not truly seeing who the person is till decades after the commitment is made. When I've reached out to discover the person early on, I'm generally met with "Do you think there's already a relationship?" or "What's your rush?" People don't want to be open and honest from the start, as they don't want to limit potential opportunities, even though being open and honest will be more likely to limit wasted time, energy and emotions. If you're not what the person is seeking, manipulating to get them to commit will never lead to a healthy relationship.

Secondly, and related to the previous challenge, is people's tendency to portray an image to use as bait to hook someone. The image isn't who they really are... just like the bait on the fishing hook. Once they hook their unsuspecting victim, they remove the mask and say "If you love me, you'll accept me as I am." No one appreciates that type of deception, no matter how common the act is. Some examples might be: going to college to get their Mrs degree (feeling they'll hook a higher quality partner in that setting). They imply they want a career, yet deep down only want to be a dependent and have everything provided for them. Another is getting in shape to attract a partner and then letting themselves go to pot once they have their marriage certificate or child. I've heard many women tell me it is normal for women to get fat as they age. It is normal for anyone to get fat if they don't watch their intake and exercise. If I still ate like I did as a teenager, I wouldn't be able to fit through doorways.

If we would just be open and honest with potential partners, we would see our success rate rise exponentially. Share what your partner can expect of you long-term, along with what you expect of a partner. Make sure the two of you are compatible before making any long-term commitments.

[Hollywoodhillz]

What he said

[LivingExample]

Well Said!

[caring__1]

@LivingExample Thank you

[Ndyaaum]

Meanwhile people disagreeing I honestly think that 99% of relationships now are going to waste.. it’s because media have its ups and downs of what a relationship suppose to be.. let’s be real here I’ve seen so many people fake their relationship just because of what social media tells them.. especially the ones who post their relationship online.. now I’m not saying that most people who post online of their relationships are fake but it’s 50 out of 50 who have failed relationships but yet Saving them to fake it for attention, money, fame, and or to make someone jelly.. if you look on YouTube there’s these podcast and fake relationship coaches who try to teach their own opinion/misunderstandings towards the crowd of what a relationship consists of.. and each person on YouTube who does those things are wrong most of the time.. but people feed off of these people opinions of their own fantasies and try to use them in their relationships or in their dating life soon to be in a relationship.. and then they see what went wrong 🤨.. so people are confused about relationships so to keep up with their loneliness of wanting someone they use their pride and ego to keep the relationship alive which honestly doesn’t work.. but the true relationship coaches will tell you being a submissive man and woman will make your relationship successful.. but most people don’t know what submissive mean 🤷🏽‍♀️ so that’s my honest down to earth opinion about this

[BlueScorpio]

It can't be 99%, that's a bit of an exaggeration cause if it was 99% I still wouldn't see couples and married people. I'm also married myself and my mother was married up until my father died. Anyway it seems that way cause that's all people talk about or hear on social media. Most songs these days when it involves love really isn't about love, it's screwing, being heartbroken and betrayed. It doesn't help when you have people in real life who think and live such way cause they cause more people to have trust issues.

[DaveJord]

I agree with the fact that more and more there is higher degree of failed relationships. I think by and large there are more and more legal and financial reasons not to marry then there is to marry these days.

Traditionally, meaning historically, women have more of natural "motherly" instinct to what to have and raise children. Whereas, traditionally, men wanted to find a woman that he could love, protect and provide for, and then have children with.

In today's world, women feel less and less required to need a man to provide for them, protect them, or to have children. They feel they can do all that themselves. So, then what is it a woman really "needs" from a man?

Women may want a man's love, what is it they really need from him, and then what are they willing to give up in achieving that?

In today's world everyone seems as if they are addicted to their outrage over everything. Some men and women are less compromising than ever. Everyone feels that should not need to have to compromise their desires, needs or wants to be happy. But honestly relationships are all about compromise and making concessions.

Marriage is nothing more than a legal agreement in which you give certain legal protection over your property and finances, in the name of love. But you can have love without marriage, and you can have marriage without love. Once relationships become inconvenient, or your life circumstance change, which at anyone in your life will happen... it's just easier to break it off then really deal with the anxiety of making it work. Because honestly there is nothing a women or man can't achieve for themselves that they would not be able to without being in relationship.

[AmandaYVR]

Don't know about 99% number, but yeah, most relationships end.

But so what? That really should have no bearing on whether they are begun.

For the time we do have the relationships, and the people in our lives, they can become important, significant, impactful. I think it's more important to appreciate them, and people, not take the relationship nor the person for granted. You never know who will be a V. I. P. in your life, or you in theirs.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Not true at all, at least in my family. Lots of people been married forever, in fact I'll be the first to not... so maybe us younger people just aren't trying as hard.

[OlderAndWiser]

If all relationships succeeded, we would all settle down wit out first SO and we would never get to explore our likes and dislikes and what we really want in a relationship.

[RiseofArtemis]

Promiscuity is the reason why 99% of relationships today fail. Too many are focused on finding what makes them hit that spot real hard instead of finding what makes their emotional needs fulfilled. Only going after sex in relationships is not gonna keep you together.

[OlderAndWiser]

@RiseofArtemis I respectfully disagree with your analysis, based on my personal experience. I do agree that promiscuity is a cause of some relationships failng, but not 99%.

[DubiousIntentions]

@RiseofArtemis Right on! Too many people concentrate on the sexual aspects of a relationship instead on the person behind the eyeballs.

[Guy13]

I think 100% 💯 of Relationships fail. I think at least 50% survive. I don’t know what that means and does not mean.-That’s way above my pay grade.

[Avicenna]

It’s probably not quite that high

[Lynx122]

All love ends in grief. I think it's a fantasy that love has to last or it's not real. Of course I don't think hook up culture is a positive change but whatever. Nature never intended there to be a fairytale for everyone. We're lucky that we have it easy to survive and that's why we believe love should be the same way but it's not. There is no mercy. Just because we took away the reproduction from sex artificially the selection process is still the same. Before and during a relationship.

Today there's so much stacked against love but does it make it more special then?

I don't know I personally am weird and I'd rather wait for someone I actually get along with than screw around or pretend to be different than I actually am. I'm 100% authentic from the start and most people get turned off by that even though they say the opposite. But I don't care. I don't believe there's someone destined for me or something like that. I just live my life the way I want and I accept the consequences. And when I feel like I want something to change I ask myself if I'm willing to make the sacrifices.

I can't fit everything normal people can into my life so I have to make tough decisions and set priorities and spending my energy on hook ups is not very high on my priority list, neither is selling myself as more than I am. I've met amazing people online that get me. But is there some true love for me that actually lives where I live? Who knows? I just live my life and make adjustments when I'm not happy with something everything else is up to destiny or whatever you believe in.

[MrOracle]

Yes, that's true, but most people are idiots when it comes to relationships, especially since the 1960s.

Let me use a car-based analogy: if people picked cars the way they pick relationship partners, most people would buy their car primarily based on the color of the seat covers. And just as that would be a horrifically bad way to buy a car, people choose partners based primarily on trivial, temporary, meaningless attributes and are shocked when it doesn't work out long-term - only to go back out and do the exact same thing again. And again.

And we also need to talk about people's expectations - this "happily ever after" Disney fantasy. Relationships are WORK and SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE. Sure, if you have chosen well, you have a teammate who will help you deal with those challenges, but that doesn't mean that challenges won't come.

If people were more realistic and chose partners based on criteria that actually matters, relationships would be far more successful.

[SnowedIn]

I agree that real love does exist. I don't agree that the number of relationships that fail is at 99%. Not sure what number I put it at. Lots fail but lots succeed also. Here's the other thing: I'm not sure that all are supposed to be permanent 1 to 1 matches forever. Thus, a relationship ending isn't necessarily a fail, it's an end. And I think that's a difference. As to why? I think it's because relationships are HARD. The parties have to put in effort to make a relationship work and that's not always easy. Add in the fact that all humans are insecure and emotional (to varying degrees) and it becomes even more difficult to make it work and we're back to folks not wanting to put in the effort or understanding what needs to be done and sticking with it. That's final piece: patience. We live in the Prime world: everything arrives in two days or less. It's getting harder to take the long view and a long view is what you need for relationships. Then there's sex, but that's another answer entirely.

[KennethNoisewater]

The whole meaning of being loyal has gone to the shitter. Loyalty unfortunately is a thing of the past. For me, you can take the legality out of it and you can take religion out of it. A meaningful relationship has nothing to do with anything else besides two people in love, having each other's backs and staying loyal. People don't think that way.

People don't think a relationship should be hard work. A relationship is the hardest work that doesn't require physical labor. You can't cut corners. You don't get lunch breaks. No credit for overtime. From when you open your eyes for the first time during the day to when you close them for the last time that night. It's 24/7

The way celebrities get married for 32 hours and then divorced, they got to remember who their demographic is. If you are a popstar on the Disney channel you are setting terrible examples on how relationships work. If those same kids watching the popstar also have divorced parents, game over.

Loyalty just isn't something you see very often at all. I've been cheated on more than once. I told myself never again will I let that happen. But my major problem is am loyal in a world with no counterparts. My morals run deeper than my ego on most things. I decided after this last time that being single really isn't that bad. And if it will save me from getting trampled again, single life seems pretty good.

[Anonymous]

A lot of relationships fail, but I don't think 99% do.

It's natural for unmarried couples to break up and move on if things aren't working out. That's the reason people should date seriously before they get married so they get to know someone very well before going into marriage.

But what is truly sad is when a married couple get divorced, especially when they have kids together. That is devastating for kids, not to mention the husband and wife. Half of marriages end in divorce today, which is terrible.

Why? Well that's a complicated matter. Studies show the # 1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment, which goes completely against what marriage is supposed to be about. Sadly, women initiate 70% - 80% of divorces, which is an important consideration. I know a lot of couples who were married and are now divorced, and there seems to be a common theme among all of them. In a few cases there was infidelity, which seems to be pretty equal in terms of whether it is the husband or the wife who cheated. But in most cases the woman had unrealistic expectations about what marriage actually is like, and women just tend to lose interest and set their eyes on greener pastures. Women seem to rationalize and convince themselves that they would be happier without the marriage, or with another man. Also, women gain more from divorce than men do, and men lose more in divorce than women do. We have a very biased court system to blame for that.

I don't mean to place all of the blame on women, but they deserve a majority of it for sure. Women's attitudes toward marriage have changed drastically over the last few decades and that has contributed significantly to the continued decline of the institution of marriage.

[Faith18letsgo]

I don’t think most relationships fail but I do think most relationships end. I’ve been in 5 relationships I would only say 3 of them failed though they all ended.
I think the reason so many relationships are failingis because technology is making it hard for us to connect to each other and because we have all these addictive substances around like screens, sugar, alcohol, and drugs.
Another reason I think a lot of relationships are ending is because men have been taught through movies and stuff that they can kind of sit around and the perfect woman will show up and the man will woo her.
Women have been seeing rom coms which have too high standards for relationships.
Relationships now a days have an unreasonably high standard. We’re supposed to find someone who’s a good sexual match for us, a good romantic match, a good roommate match, a good geographic match, and a good parent match.
When someone isn’t perfect we think they must not be the one and go elsewhere.

[Looksnicholas]

I would like to think the ones that succeed, are the average people who agreed mutually to marry aka settle down mutually and raise a family. Which also benefits society. But I can also imagine that there's many out there, that ultimately divorced, with or without having offspring and then divorcing. Hmm.

I'd like to think there's also a lot of reality external pressures, like in-laws, differing friendship circles maybe, or it appears over time, and maybe just plain competing things to juggle, and so sometimes it could be a perfect couple, but just not able to balance all of adult life's complexities and competing things for time. Lol.

[CrazyGirl2]

I is not 99! According to one expert who studies this, 85% of pre-marital relationships fail! Source: https://www.prweb.com/releases/finding_right_date/lasting_marriages/prweb11278931.htm While the percentage of couples who decide live together, have a far greater success rate, with only 35% of cohabitating adults dissolve (end) their relationship! Source: https://mastresearchcenter.org/mast-center-research/trends-in-relationship-formation-and-stability-in-the-united-states-dating-cohabitation-marriage-and-divorce/

[AlphaMale1]

100% of relationships in my life have failed. I still have a friendly relationship with some. The most abundant reason for failure is lack of comminication. Then greed on her part comes in a close second. I have the desire to acculimate wealth and women want to find a way to try to take it from me for her selfish reasons which doesn't happen. If I ever find a woman who wants me for the long haul rather than my wealth I will make her the happiest woman on this planet. What is wrong with relatoinships today? All the money in the world will not buy you happiness! Be careful...

[Lliam]

I have no idea. Are we talking about marriages or all boyfriend-girlfriend relationships?
I wouldn't doubt if only 1/100 overall relationships turn into life long commitments.

I've had several girlfriends in my life, beginning when I was 16 years old. Having relationships is healthy. I can't even wrap my mind around the notion that we are only supposed to have one in our lives.

If someone wants to get married, they will eventually find the right partner.

I always took marriage very seriously. It's a once in a lifetime decision. My wife and I share that view. We've been happily married for over 26 years and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. We're a great team and have lots of fun.

[ZackBan]

I think what we have is a lot more tolerance of divorce or even breakup in general.

When I was a kid, and that wasn't so long ago, if a couple split everyone will be talking. Few will want to actually date or marry someone who's proven they are willing to break things off.

Basically we used to shame people for failing to maintain a relationship and that made it so people make the effort to work on their issues and not jump to a break-up immediately.

Overall I think ending a relationship is too easy these days and so everyone does it

[D_Bone_Steak]

That's what I see to be honest. I'm already in a long-term relationship, but looking at the options out there (here in America), fucking yuck. Either they're disgusting physically (very fat) or they are total sluts and not a stone's throw away from some drug habit or something like that. If I was single I'd literally be looking overseas for a wife... not here for sure.

How to change it? Hmmm... I think the fat acceptance movement and hookup culture has taken over things... both seem to be bed buddies. I'm a guy so if you look at the field from my perspective it's fatties and sluts. I hide the money factor but if I added that in I'd attract the very thing I'm trying to avoid by hiding the appearance of having money. Tuff situation. I'd imagine tons of trial and error routine meet'n'greets just to find anyone worth talking to.

[HighValue]

They often fail because the majority of people (from what I have seen IRL) are immoral bad people, dishonest, promiscuous, and use either drugs or alcohol.

A person's past matters because it shows their morals/values, and for a good person like me, I find MOST people completely unacceptable as a potential mate.

Women don't bring anywhere near as much to a relationship as a good man does, but they want the benefits as if they did. They are often lazy, hypocritical, sexist against men, greedy/selfish, and have an unacceptable past. Promiscuity PERMANENTLY disqualifies them from having a good man for a long term relationship.

Men are physically weak and can't protect their mate so the woman loses respect for him. Even the short guys could at least lift weights a couple times per week. And some of the guys promote feminist man hating agendas in desperation for approval when all it does is show how pathetic they are and the women they want will never want them.

[Fireguy17]

I do not think it is that high.
To me it seems that so many people are getting together just based on looks alone.
They aren't taking the time to actually know what kind of person they are, and many times once they find out they no longer like them no matter how they look.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but a person's personality is way more important than just looks.
But how many posts on here are am I pretty, who is prettier, and they just don't get it.
Maybe it is because of my age, I'm more old school.