Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Boyfriend forcing me to make decision about having kids. What do I do? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(18-24) 
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
42Opinion
You wrote this:
"I feel if he really loved me he wouldn't push for this decision now"
YOU ARE 100% CORRECT.
He doesn't love you at this point. He's holding back until he knows that you will commit to not having kids.
If you can't commit to that, then don't.
Anyway, bottom line, you are correct and, at this instant in time, he does not love you.
please just disboyfriend him. The guy is clear about what he wants. you on the other hand is a confused person. your wishes don't align so just walk away. I don't know why people get sentimental over clear issues with clear decisions yo make. you're young. your real man is waiting for you. found mine at 34 and prior to that I've always been single, so what is it?
politely tell him your dreams don't align and call it off. save yourself unnecessary headache.
I feel like having kids is a big responsibility , maybe he doesn’t want to take that. And I will feel very sorry for you if you stay with him and don’t end up having kids if you really want too , because how come he gets his way and you don’t? that won’t be fair.
Well, there IS no way for them to both get their way here. He's doing the right thing by dealing with this early on, because what if they stay together and she decides years down the track she DOES want kids?
@admles I know it is the right thing to talk about these things so it doesn’t get worse later on..
Keep the option of children open. It's not possible to not have kids if you have the desire to be a mother. So, tell him you want to over it if he doesn't value children. He and you were both kids. You mother created you so he can be with you. Why stop that chance
It's not going to work. If he dosnt want kids and he was upfront with you. and one day you decide you want kids.. well you just wasted his time in a relationship that's going no where for both of you
You make the decision, and make it now.
What if you're together for a few years, engaged, married, and you decide you want kids? Do you really want that?
And expecting that essentially he will change his mind later on is manipulative.
I really DO NOT understand how some people are making him out to be the bad guy here.
He clearly DOES NOT want children at all, has been upfront about it, and doesn't want to waste both their times by staying together only to break up years down the track if she decides she wants kids.
He's being smart by dealing with this NOW.
I feel you are going to have some difficult times ahead even if you agree to accept not having children by choice. If you ever fall pregnant by accident is he going to stand by you or is he going to ask you to terminate?
If he's firm about it then I'd say you should leave each other and it would be better for both of you, you may get married but one day you'll want to be a mother and that he won't be able to make it happen and if he does you'll be living in hell so you better avoid all of this and find someone else.. it's really heart breaking since you love eachother
I mean, 9 months is not a short period of time. If you had decided you want children 100% and that was non-negotiable, would you stay with your boyfriend if he wouldn't commit to having them? And how in the hell does one compromise on having children? It's a yes or no answer. You can't have half a child. You get the whole shebang or none of it. There is no middle ground. Stop kidding yourself.
Compromise is the dumbest thing. There is no way to compromise on most issues. Why do people try to use it as a one size fits all way to deal with disagreements? This is one it does not work.
I think what he's asking is reasonable. If you want kids move on already. If you don't want kids then get serious. You're just asking for trouble to get serious and worry about it later. He's smart. You're being nonsensical.
If you don't have the same relationship goals your relationship has no future. The sooner you realize that, the less pain there will be for both of you. Sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear.
How can you be in a relationship and not want kids? He sounds really immature.
I think he is right about this, if he feels this strongly about it and obv. you are thinking you probably do want kids eventually, it is better to deal with it now than later, you will both be happier. JMO :/
He is correct, you can't compromise on this.
He said he doesn't want any kids at all ever, either thats what you want too, or the relationship is doomed.
You need to make up your mind so he knows you aren't stringing him along.
Children are a non-negotiable. If you can’t agree on it now, it’s going to become a bigger issue later on. It is one of the top reasons for divorce. If you really want children, better start looking for someone else now while you can.
He really loves you, but he also wants kids. These are separate things. And a very important goal to have. So if he really wants some you must decide whether or not you want kids, or your relationship will come to an end sooner or later.
He is right that there is no compromise in this. It's not like you can have half a kid. i do not know how old you are but if he is really serious about this you should end the relationship.
I don't think that he loves you enough if he don't want kids with you, so you might leave him.
Maybe he just does not want to waste his time, and yours, if you later decide you want children. And I do not see how you could compromise over having or not having children.
This exactly.
He's doing the best for both of them early on, rather than doing it later down the track where it will be MUCH harder.
He should have been dumped immediately. Any relationship where both people's goals/values are not even compatible should be discarded immediately.
at the end of the day it's your call but if someone is forcing you to do something it's best to cut ties and not be controlled how you want to live your life