Why do some girls/women choose to be in a 'situationship' while being in a relationship at the same time?

[TheCapitalisto]

Why don't they just end their current relationship if they are not happy anymore and start looking for something that makes them happier at the end of the day?

[Pegases]

I've learned that a lot women can be very selfish and immature. Most women today won't think about how their actions affect others, as long as they are getting what they want. So as men, don't be so naive. Most women today talk to multiple different men at a time because they can get different needs met by different men. These women will never be satisfied in a relationship with one person because they've conditioned themselves to be satisfied by multiple men, meanwhile no one person can ever live up to what several different men do. So dont be that guy entertaining those kinds of women. Be the man thats leveled himself up so you have options. Also, we've gotta do a better job collectively of vetting women before we get into relationships with them, because a lot of them today have no morals or values that guide their decisions. You don't want those women fellas. They are for the streets, they just don't realize it most of the time. Lastly, watch how they move fellas. Youd be surprised how easy it is to identify women that are for the streets just be watching their behaivior, and understanding how they think. Quality women have a different vibe entirely.

[coachTanthony]

It's not that they like variety they usually have a more high value male that they have on the side and hoping to slide in as the main squeeze. Soon as that happens the guy who is in their life is history. He was always just there to provide and keep it warm until she found the right person.

[DizzyDesii]

When i was in that situation, i wasn't insecure nor afraid to be alone like most say. I just didn't want to start over from scratch unless I was making the right decision. I was going to make sure i had the better option on lock first. I didn't need to cheat or anything to know the better option. I just needed to continue getting to know him platonically to make sure I was going the right way of letting go of what I had. The dude wasn't doing his job as a boyfriend so i didn't really give a damn anymore myself. And i always made sure to tell the guy “someone who may be better suited for me has come along”. I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking on it because we dont seem to be the right fit. Dudes couldve let me go then but nah they always say “lets just try to make things work.” Then I’d end up staying with them to avoid hurting them further but i’d just end up hurting myself. Now idgaf. They can go and get over it

[RangerBlue22]

“ I was going to make sure i had the better option on lock first”

No that’s cheating. Period. You were already emotionally engaging with someone else. Even if nothing physical happened it’s very disrespectful to the person you were currently in a relationship with.

Also your “just didn't want to start over from scratch” shows a very deep insecurity and ego problem. If you weren’t happy with your current boyfriend you break things off instead of scandalously trying to “test the waters” with someone else. That shows you are very untrustworthy.

You lived up to a very negative female stereotype the QA is talking about here. Exactly.

Most men don’t line up other women as “potentials” when in relationships. We might feel attracted to other women but we either A) be complete scumbags and indulge it (which is undeniable cheating and everyone knows it) B) respect our gfs/wives and avoid inappropriately interacting other woman. But there is no bullshit wishy washy “option C” like you are describing above. That’s just emotional cheating you are trying to justify. Also by the way in my experienced women are much more likely to approach and be “friendly” with taken men than vice versa. Women just assume a taken man is higher value right off the bat. Men don’t think this way about taken women when all else is equal.

Anyway your behavior is more common in younger girls. You are still youngish. But don’t continue with this bullshit. Men do wise up as we get older and we can figure out if something’s up. You could end up ruining a good thing thinking the grass was greener on the other side.

[Pegases]

It's interesting how many women see no problem with doing this, but as soon as the shoe is on the other foot it's an issue. This is why we call so many of y'all delusional. Too many women today lack foresight. A relationship is a commitment. you're not relationship material if your talking to someone else while you're in one. You're cheating.

[DizzyDesii]

Its not cheating to me especially since I told him before during and after 🤷‍♀️ And i dont think its an insecurity problem... more along the lines of the ego one sounds right :) Like i said, I did it back then and I hardly have regrets. But i never said i’d continue down that path. He knew he was doing me dirty (because i didn't even state what he had been doing) and he knew i deserved better so thats why he didn't stop it. I mean he yelled at me but i mean who hasn't been yelled at... I stayed because i was more physically invested in him. I still loved him but i wasn't in love anymore. So i stayed til the light went out for good. And now im free and dont have to deal with that anymore. So hey, i’m satisfied 🤷‍♀️ And I’m sure his videogaming addiction is keeping him company or maybe his coworker is. Who knows, who cares

[RangerBlue22]

What you described above @dizzydesli painfully remind me of something I went through years ago.

I had an ex girlfriend a few years ago who treated me like i was less than human when and after she broke up with me. While I wasn’t surprised she wanted to break up I was deeply injured by some of the things she said to me. There was one conversation that still haunts me to this day.

I accepted the break up at the time. I wasn’t happy but I knew it was for the best. I could of done a better job communicating while we dated but I was in an a very difficult position. I loved her as a person but I had to be single at that point in my life.

I never expected her to be my best friend or anything after the split. However looked at me and treated me with sheer disgust. I do not taken by surprise often but the way she acted made absolutely zero sense.

Then one day it hit me. The only plausible reason for her behavior is that the whore cheated on me before she broke up. I knew she was involved with her coworker shortly after. But she fucked him and lined him up as a rebound because she planned to dump me. She had to see me as less than human to make herself better for her bullshit. I on the otherhand while not perfect never cheated. I had opportunities to as well but I did the right thing.

The bottom line you assumed your ex boyfriend was screwing someone else and just used that as justification to do your crap. Are you sure? And that “oh he has a video game addiction” and is a deadbeat loser line. So you are looking for reasons to justify what you did? Two wrongs make a right? Right?

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 im not looking to justify because i dont regret my actions. I’d have to think I was fully wrong to want to justify. And it wasn't really an assumption with the things he told me about her. Sure he denied but his words and actions said otherwise. So he did his thing and i did mine. Maybe I’d care more or feel guilt had something physical been done but because it was more of a prequalifying then emotionally investing, i dont feel that bad and said what i said.

[RangerBlue22]

Why couldn’t you just broken up with him and THEN looked elsewhere? But in your words you “didn’t want to start from scratch”.

I believe you when you say you don’t regret what you did. Women generally feel little or no guilt about this. But when the roles are reversed the guy is judged much more harshly.

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 i stated that i tried to breakup after telling him what i wanted to do and he asked me to stay anyways. Most likely because he was already trying to do the same so he prob figured fair game. Who knows. But im over it now. So just let it be

[RangerBlue22]

Well it happened in the past. Don’t do something like that again in the future.

Also men are not allowed to cry and show their emotions when dealing with heartbreak. We also take longer to process the situation because we don’t “plan ahead” the same way women do. So we often bottle things up and have delayed reactions.

Women literally look at dating like a job/career situation. They will take interviews with other men while they still have a “job” to figure out if the other offer is a better fit.

I’ve had plenty of women day and do horrible things to me over the years. I have been used as a placeholder. I was once ghosted after 9 months of dating after a minor argument. I was giving facetious attention to make the guy the girl really liked jealous. Etc. But when I honestly reflect back my gut knew 95% of the time something was up but I just didn’t want to believe.

But the most painful incident I ever went through in my entire life was what my ex girlfriend did to me years ago. I made it clear I understood her decision and I still loved her as a person. She on the otherhand had to preemptively cheat to give herself a “final push” to make herself break up with me. Instead of fessing you to it she had to look at me as lower then pond scum to make herself feel better about her bullshit. I can still remember the shrill disgust in her voice when we met up a few weeks later for business purposes. I said “I missed talking to her” and my eyes watered up (only time I ever cried in front of her. Ever). I didn’t ask for her to come back but I meant exactly that: I really did missed talking to her. Her response was “with EXES I don’t talk because it’s weird”. Said in absolute shrill disgust.

[RangerBlue22]

Now did I handle that well? Not really. But again her response stuck with me for a very long time. Years tbh. This is the same girl who told me for an entire year I was the best man she ever met, how I was perfect, how she was so lucky, I was a soulmate, how her friends were jealous and even her family liked me, etc. Went from one extreme to the other. And it’s all because she cheated and had to make her POS ego feel better. No matter the cost.

Women have more power to harm than they will ever realize. This is one of the reasons men are afraid to commit. So be careful what you say and do here.

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 but i thought people were past the men can't cry bs. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends who werent afraid to cry and be emotional. didn't make me think of em any less. If a guy doesn't open up emotionally then thats when i would probably run

[RangerBlue22]

Because no matter what women say they deep down do NOT respect that. I can remember a girl I dated many years ago saying she was leaving me for someone else because I was “too sensitive” (despite her being off her rocker way more than me most of the time). Unless it’s a funeral or something there is a reason why men don’t cry. But those we are feeling all those exact same emotions women feel beneath the exterior.

Anyway my one exes response to the only time I ever cried in front of her was unabashed 100% pure disgust. Not a hint of concern. Not a hint of sympathy. Just a grossed out pitiless grossed out expression followed by a cruel callous response.

She wasn’t bitchy when I knew her. Although she did sometimes say stupid thing she would often think it through and later apologize. That is why I was so blindsided.

But that it all made sense one day. She cheated and then had to fixate on all my negative attributes to make herself feel better. Similar to how you were going off about your ex bfs “video game addiction” and other crap. You had to alter your entire perception of him so you wouldn’t second guess what you did.

Not to say you or my ex didn’t make the right decision to break up. But once that decisión is made notice how your soon to be ex was suddenly expendable. Men are expendable.

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 i just feel it depends on the person. The ex im referring to above once told me i cry too much (staying with him got depressing and im usually bubbly but i had at least one month a year with him where i felt depressed.) So this caused me to be more robotic and heartless. I cried way less and if i did cry it wasn't around him. One day he visited me and cried when it was time to depart. I said “awww” and hugged him. I thought it was a sweet moment. He gets home and snaps at me saying “i will never cry in front of you again. All you did was hug me. What is that even? You should have cried with me. I’ll never cry for you again.” Like what 🥴

[RangerBlue22]

I never told my ex or any other women they “cry too much” (although some of them do). I didn’t cry when she broke up with me although I wanted to.

But it’s getting back to seeing an ex as less than human. If they cheated on you, (for real) abused you, stole from you, lied about major issues, etc. then that response would be justified.

But I did none of those things. She told me to “not be a stranger” when she broke up. We hugged for a long time when I walked off.

But there was something else off with her body language. Like she was hiding something else. I told myself that was just my paranoia at the time but later it all made sense.

Bottom line as I am a human being. I can’t force someone to stay with you. But you can appreciate the good times you did have. She instead had to look at me as less than human. Uproot everything including any positive memories. I asked myself for years for why she treated me that way and one day it all made sense. It all came down to protecting her pos ego. She couldn’t accept the fact she was a cheating whore. It’s “okay” to do that if you can convince yourself the other person somehow deserved it or something right? And the ugly truth is women do this much more often than men.

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 i dont really look at who does what more. I just go by the individual rather than the gender but i get what you mean. And i dont like to stay in touch with any exes. It sounds like she's the same so I don't know why she ever told you she’d be there if you needed her

[RangerBlue22]

I can see why people don’t want to stay in touch with their exes. I sure as hell never want to talk to my last ex. She went absolutely ballistic nuclear when I broke up with her. It got scary.

But that’s not how I reacted when I got dumped. I wasn’t happy but I accepted it. Told her “well if this is what you want”. Also told he there was a part of me that would always love her. I said all this giving her the benefit of the doubt of a paranoia that she might of cheated in the back of my mind.

We seemingly left with mutual respect. That’s why I was so devastated about she said to me later.

You did spend a fair amount of time with this person. If they were a true pos (cheating, abuse, etc) then by all means cut them off. But if things just ended on a sadder note then completely removing them from your entire life can be cruel.

[DizzyDesii]

@RangerBlue22 well thank you so much for your advice. I honestly take it to heart.

[RangerBlue22]

Just a FYI I don’t mean to come off as over the top sour grapes. But sometimes I have to get into the weeds so someone else can really see the man’s POV.

But anyway no problem. thanks for hearing me out. Also I don’t blame people for past mistakes just as long they make amends to do better in the future. I know I was far from perfect when I was in my early/mid 20s

[DizzyDesii]

@Pegases oh wow i love how you’re trying to speak for me after i already thanked the guy. Get lost

[BlueScorpio]

You mean cheating? Cause people can be quite selfish, they want to keep their current relationship as a backup in case the person they're seeing in the side falls through. It's all about a lack of self control and putting pleasure before their relationship.

[Guy13]

Some women are insecure and can’t stand to be alone and this way they are good.

Others are like hmm 🤔. which one ☝️ do I like best. How much can I get out this new boy…I know what current gives me. This is going to be fun 🤩

[Anonymous]

Because some of them are so insecure and selfish they look to “line a guy up” and determine if he’s a better pick before they conveniently jump ship. It’s also the ego and attention of having more than one man interested that turns them on.

Not to say all women are like this. But I had the displeasure of dealing with this complete bullshit once or twice when I was younger. I’ve both gotten inappropriate attention from taken women (that I wasn’t even looking for) and had a girl use me as a “placeholder” when something else came along.

This is just cheating even if these women didn’t do anything physical with the new guy she met yet. Once they start spending one on one time with the other guy, get in deeper conversations and sharing a “love” vibe they are fucking cheating and have no respect their bfs/husbands. Plain and simple. But this is the convenient mental gymnastic bs some women do to protect their own egos.

As for me there have been times I felt attracted to other women during relationships but I sure as hell didn’t indulge it nor line up the other girl when I found it was time to call it quits on my girlfriend.

Not to say it’s impossible for men to do this crap. A very small minority of them do. I a GAG story about a woman who was engaged but her fiancé was studying abroad to finish up a doctoral program. While this was going his father passed away and he ended up getting into a 6 month relationship with another woman for comfort/companionship. Although his circumstances were horrible it didn’t justify what he did.

But this is more rare than vice versa. This is much more common with young women. They tend to think the grass is always greener on the other side.

[DoctorSex]

A female friend once told me that most women's default setting is to look for another boat to sail next to them before jumpin off their current boat.

It's horrible, but it's anthropological, some things aren't worth getting angry about. It is what it is. Work around it and set life up in your favour, that's the duty of every man. Let others complain but not you,

"Why are men horny and territorial"

"Why are women moody on their periods"

"Why does body count matter to men"

"Why does a man's wealth matter to women"

"Why does the sun rise in the morning and the stars come out at night"

Let others argue and grow vex about the way this planet was designed, not you. Plot a path to your success despite the adversities.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[bamesjond0069]

Exactly. People complain about rocks being hard and water being wet basically.

[DoctorSex]

@bamesjond0069 agreed.

[LittleSally]

What's a situatonship?

If it's what I presume, it's because they are exploring their options. In my opinion completely wrong, but this is, in my experience, mostly a guy thing: cheating behind their fiance's or girlfriend's back because they really aren't ready to commit or because they are always searching for something 'better'.

[cherieday]

I have a romantic partner who cuts himself and threaten suicide each time I try to end things. So I've always been very honest with you that he is not what I want and I will not close myself off to the possiblitly of other relationships. He his so, I don't know if the word is afraid or vulnerable, that he'd rather have me that way then not have me at all. So I go on about my business while trying to get away from this guy and letting him down lightly. Easing out of the relationship

[wittymilf]

Generally because they are afraid they will get killed 😂😂 or maybe that’s just me!.
But probably a similar reason, not wanting to cause hurt to anyone so sacrificing their own freedom.

[AmyHew1tt]

Why do some men? Seriously, we are not that different.

[CA4444]

They get attached emotionally and don’t know what they want

[Sasha0426]

Most rather stay where they’re at instead of being alone. For others, I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ Maybe financial issue if they’re living with said partner. Plus kids, if they have any.

[unicornflowerpops]

Because they only care about them selves and what they gain. Life's so short not to be honest est

[boggboss]

Because they want the best of both worlds its just cheating many people do it unfortunately

[FilmGuy93]

Insecurity. There are a lot of women who can't handle the thought of being alone.

[Alex8736]

insecurity and can't picture themselves being alone

[Avicenna]

Selfish narcissism

[spartan55]

Dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[Agape93]

Same reasons guys do the exact same thing.

[Katyalov]

because they can

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they don't want to be alone.

[Iron_Man]

They are considered

[WTFdivorce]

I agree with Avicenna