I think the answer lies in the way that society has ingrained specific roles for men and women respectively.
Someone else had commented to this saying that "women are receivers and producers. You give them a seed they produce a baby. You give them groceries they produce a meal..." -on the opposite side men are expected to be the PROVIDERS, making money to pay the bills and provide for things such as groceries. Men are expected to listen to wants/needs and satisfy them and in return receive whatever is produced.
I also think that because men overall seem to chase more often there's a level of competition created when men feel that they need to be the most fulfilling to a woman in order to attract her attention over other guys. In reverse, some women who recieve a lot of male attention may be less inclined to put as much effort into a relationship because they feel like they can always just trade out their partner with someone else who will provide more. Because of this there's this stigma that men need to be the ones putting in all the effort to keep their significant other or to make themselves appear more appealing to women.
Obviously in a healthy relationship too much of one or the other from either side is unhealthy and toxic. Relationships are built off balance and teamwork. Women should be able to listen to the needs of their partners and satisfy them they same way men should (and there's a personal victory in being able to fulfill for your significant other, making someone else happy should make you happy too with the right person). Likewise men shouldn't be quiet about their own needs either. Once you hit a point where a guy only cares about his partner's needs or puts them above his own (especially when they're contrary to his own) it can become incredibly overbearing and he's also put himself in an unhealthy spot. When a woman expects her needs to take full precedence in a relationship she's become selfish and it leads to toxicity in the relationship. It's all about give and take, communication and teamwork. Reciprocation is one of the best parts of a healthy relationship- feeling like the effort you put in is appreciated and also being able to appreciate that the other person is doing things for you as well.
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Men appear to like women more than women like men.
Women make demands and the men acquiesce because it’s better than going without.
It gets made much worse by cultural attitudes reinforcing women to be more and more judgements about their partners. Eg what’s his job, what does he look like, how does he treat you, etc. And in people’s minds it can always be better and the woman always deserves better than what she has just as a general rule. So men compete and do the dance as the whim of women, but they’re also competing against a woman’s ego; her interpretation of her value.
This is why we see in the data that women become exponentially more demanding as their own wealth and status rise.
People used to think that if women were more encouraged to work and earn then they would be more likely to marry for love and care less about money. But in practice we can demonstrate that it actually leads to a higher demand for wealthier, higher status men. Rather than change what they look for in a partner the reality is that they simply look for even more of what they wanted before. It’s just been scaled up according to their own progression.
Those sound like some dysfunctional relationships. For healthy & happy relationships there has to be a balance. There needs to be a partner mentality. Our thoughts should be of our significant other not just ourselves. Giving & compromising isn’t a man thing it’s a good person thing. If unhealthy situations like that are seen they need to be called on what they are.
Thats not how it should be.
These relationships aren't built to last.
A real relationship takes two to fully commit and work at it
One chasing while the other runs away doesn't work forever
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Because men gave up by choice. And feminism was part of it that help kill it. Men don't do enough to be sought after for himself and heart. He doesn't think he should be pure either. Women are the prize for sexual desire and the need for men to procreate and have children. The women know this power and use that power to subdue men. Men became effeminate and bows down. Thus feeding her ego and feeding his ego to be wanted and needed. But men take that and use it to dominate weaker women, and it creates a vicious cycle. Now the ones who are ignorant of this dangerous cycle are caught up on a fence about should they focus on others needs or their own needs. To be selfish or not. There needs to be balance when you approach relationships. Relationship mentality needs to change. It is for the other person, it is not for you alone. The desire to be selfless is more courageous than for a coward to run from his duty towards others.
jesus christ the male comment section sounds like a support group for men in crisis. this isn't how normal relationships work; people often want to do things for others they care about. if your relationship is one-sided and you feel like you have to constantly fulfill your so's needs without reciprocity then they're probably entitled or not that into you. personally i completed an hour long seminar on a real estate company's code of conduct for my boyfriend who works in IT so he could play his WW2 video game and fight virtual nazis; but he drives me fucking everywhere like an uber with a really bad business model so there you go
I think guys just tend to express it more, but girls do a lot to make the guy happy and satisfied too. But society expects them to do so, so when a guy goes out of his way to do something for his girl and maintain her happiness everyone's attention is on him and exclaim what an amazing partner he is.
That's just my experience, I suppose some people haven't met many females that go out of their way to treat their men well, but in my culture it's rarer to have a guy do those things for his partnerWhen you get the answer you let me know why. This is something i struggle with. Because ALL women play the part of someone who's a caring person but for most it's all an act. A lot of guys fall for these women's act, then she turns on him and all she does is exploit him. The guy is hooked at this point will think it's temporary but that girl is gone, she never really existed. The smart guy dumps her right there and learns from this mistake. But the foolish remains and futily stays and tries to please her.
I love how the guys deny this. lol
It's the absolute truth. If I asked this very same question, I'd get 4 replies. But since you are a girl, you'll get 400 replies from these losers!
Women ONLY have the power because pathetic wimps allow them to have the power. Somewhere along the way, men have become pathetic, pussies.Men are hunters and givers while women are receivers and producers. You give a seed she produces a baby. You give her groceries she produces a meal, you give her a home she produces a homely atmosphere, etc. This is the way we are designed. Also men are to love their wives and understand them while the wife is to respect her husband. Women need love and loving men is shown through respect.
It's kind of natural that it should revolve around the girls needs, the day it started revolving around her wants is the day shit got fucked. Woman get their needs covered, men cover their own needs and their family's, but they earn their wants. The 'wants' of females fuel over 83% of consumer sales in America, this so called evil culture that is killing the planet, yet they also want to vote for policies that will somehow save it. They are generally unfit to take part in such decisions. Not always, but generally. Women are people, and some people have sane wants, but as a general rule, you should ignore women's wants completely. Don't complain ladies, your needs are taken care of, be grateful, us men are not so lucky.
Cause society has ruled that if a woman tries it deems her desperate. So if a guy wants ass and she's not trying its a guy's goal. There are some guys who just sit back and watch the girl do all the work because they have learned the art of the game, a lot of girls hate rejection so the more disinterested they are the more a girl tries for it. Other than that if its a relationship it goes back to old school time, women like chivalry and if a guy doesn't pursue, then the guy seems like he "doesn't care". Everybody is different some couples are 50/50, some its all the guy and some its all the girl.
In my last relationship, I was always making sure that it was balanced equally between myself and my ex. Some people told me that I enjoyed him spoiling me as he would always buy me random gifts, but I always got or made him random gifts/treats (he always loved my cooking)
It doesn’t. A successful relationship requires both people giving effort to supply the needs and desires of their partner. Because people are individuals every relationship will not be 50/50 and there will always be an ebb and flow depending on life’s responsibilities and challenges.
Men are less selfish. They go to war, pay for dinners, open doors, etc while women don't have to do as much.
Women are taught from a young age that they are special little snowflakes while men are taught at a young age to suck it up and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.Well, really it's down to the guy in my opinion, if you take lead and do all the work she's going to lay back and ride along, if you do half the work and if she's at least a half decent human being she's going to fill up the gap, and remember that this only works if you two are for each other.
That's certainly not true. I've witnessed numerous relationship in which girls are the ones who put more efforts. Relationship is clearly a two way path, one needs to understand what they want and their partner's needs. Its a popular opinion that guys are the only ones who want to make relationships work, that's false. They might provide financial stability, that's true, but imao girls have more or less equal contribution towards the progress or failure of their relationship.
Women probably get bored with monogamy sooner than men do. And she can enter another relationship much easier than a man. So along with a higher need for the guy to "keep up" with her, she may be more likely to objectify and dehumanize him as a success object, while she sees all the other options around her.
Absolutely not true. Most of the relationships I see, the women are doing way more for the kids so they both tend to ignore the relationship. In my own marriage it was 90/10. He basically did nothing for me than offer a hallmark card on holidays. In fact I feel it’s the men that make the fake effort in the honeymoon phase then they do a 180 once you’re hooked and then it’s all about them, their boys, and their toys.
I find women in general are pretty selfish. And I'm not saying that to be insulting, that's honestly how it comes across to me most of the time. But I think society (and most guys in general) has made women that way. They feel "entitled" or something it seems? Guys and their feelings don't matter. Some women actually sadly think guys don't have feelings! lol And I think they seriously think that!
Because the world is full of simps and "nice guys"; many girls prove ungrateful in the end and tragedy results. At least this seems to be what is happening in my country. The correct thing is for both individuals to put in the effort needed to get the kind of relationship that would make them happiest. Relationships, after all, should be partnerships based on mutual love.
Seriously? My relationship revolves around whatever he wants, even if it matters to me but not to him i ask him and go with what he wants. Color of table? What to eat? What to do, where to live? How many kids to have? I even remember Valentine's day and i buy flowers, cards...
Because it's a shitty relationship and most people will put up with a shitty relationship over the shame our society has placed on being alone? Or because women are literally demons. I'm going with occam on this one.
That’s not how it is in my relationship. My girl would sell her soul for me if I asked her to.
However in other relationships it has been as you’ve stated, and that’s one major reason I avoided relationships until my current one.
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