This is a sort of continuation of a previous question where I asked for opinions on my trauma induced paranoia about my bi girlfriend (23) and her lesbian housemate (20)
After a huge fight about my paranoia and how hopless it made her feel I've been trying to really work on it and have become much more accepting of her and her housemate hanging out more often. I've been slowly earning back her trust. Over Christmas however it really felt like she was avoiding me and paying more attention to the housemate. I tried to brush it off though she could tell I was upset.
Since then she's seemed to only get more reserved and depressed. She texts me less, doesn't look me in the eyes when we talk, barely talks when we were together. Flash forward to last night.
After a long talk of telling her I'm here for her and that i won't force her to talk to me i told her that i was glad she had her housemate to talk to aswell because they talk often. When i said that she got extremely anxious and uncomfortable. It filled my head with one stupid question and she wanted me to ask cause she saw how holding it in was affecting me. So i asked her if she thought she had feelings for her housemate and she said she didn't know.
This devastated me. She said she was really confused because she might have feelings for her housemate but she told me they're no where close to the love she has for me if she does. We talked more and she told me she's felt this way for awhile and not knowing how to tell me was what was making her depression worse.
She keeps saying she hates herself for feeling this way and feels like she's hurting me again. I also finally fully opened up fully about my abusive relationship before her and she said it really helped give her a new understanding of how bad my trauma actually was. She also finally said she forgives me for hurting her with my paranoia which i didn't expect.
I guess i just dont know what to do. I hurt but i still love her. Any opinions would be helpful.
