Am I in the wrong here, did he stand me up or am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I’m dating this guy. He made plans with me he said last night ‘make sure to ring me when you’re ready’ about the plans he made I was like okay. I didn’t ring him as I text him and I thought he’d call me. He specifically said ring me when you’re ready. I didn’t. Just because I thought if he’s really interested he would call? But in my eyes he stood me up? Am I in the wrong here? I just thought he’d call me? I’m speaking to my friends and they’re saying maybe you’re both a bit wrong? Id like perspectives as I don’t really know if I’m wrong here or not before saying somethig? He did tell me since last night to call him when I’m ready and I didn’t.. but still why couldn’t he call me?

[Guy13]

Games aren’t worth the missed opportunity

[Asker]

So do u think I was in the wrong? I mean I know I wasn’t bad but maybe it was my fault?

[Asker]

I just expected him to call me?

[Guy13]

The guessing could have been eliminated with straightforward expectation set.

[Soapwithsoap]

I do this sometimes after few dates that I call/text/invited her first and then ask her to do the same once just to see if she cares enough. It will show me how much is she willing to work on a problem that will definitely occur between us in the future.

[Anonymous]

I’d say you were wrong in this situation because he already made the plan and asked you to call him when you were ready. Your logic behind texting instead just sounds like some desire for him to do extra work for you, when you can’t even do your part and call. He doesn’t know what your day is like, what you’re doing, and you two aren’t on that level for him to feel comfortable calling at random. So it’s totally fair for him to ask that you let him know when you’re available.

[Asker]

Yeahh you’re right. I wanted him to text me to show how much he wants me rather than me calling him. I just expects him to kinda call a lot since that’s what I’m used to?

[Opinion Owner]

I think one of the worst things you can do for yourself when dating is going into a situation expecting work/effort from a man, that you aren’t willing to do yourself. Just as you have hesitations, boundaries, and standards, so does he, and it’s important to be mindful of his as well. You can’t expect him to show how much he wants you when you aren’t bringing much to the table yourself, or think he should travel both lengths of a two way road. If he’s a good guy and you want a chance then call him. It’s not desperate or begging, it’s showing mutual interest and doing what he asked of you in the first place. If you’re too proud to be fair or to show your interest, then maybe you need to find a man who specifically wants to bust his ass for your time. Those men are far and few between though.