In my experience, women hold a grudge (especially if it's against a man) much more than a man does. A man tends to move on with more important things while a woman seems to hold onto that grudge, sometimes until they get even.
What do you think? Do men or women hold grudges more?
Women = 62%, Men=10%, About equal=22%
And it doesn't matter how each sex voted...
Girls voted 21 to 5 for Men vs Women
Guys voted 44 to 5 for Men vs Women
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Females do. Yes, I'm sure it's annoying. It is annoying.
I have a theory why, though, and it's not merely choice: Female brains are different than males in that there are more cross-lateral connections bridging the two hemispheres.
In brain scans in MRI machines, they have found different functioning. Scientists have discovered that during memory recall, more areas of the female brain light up (expressed magnetically as heat). This illustrates that memory is tied to emotion, and the amygdala, and the senses, more in women than in men.
Men's brains are more hyper-localized when thinking about something, or working on a task. They can block out external stimuli better ("He's always tuning me out, not listening to what I say...") When female brains think, and make decisions, they take into account more data from more sources (inside their brains), and are particularly dialogue/word-based. If men don't want to, they can use that tunnel vision to tune out whatever is not on task (or desired to pay attention to.) Women have wider focus, but less intensity. This manifests as more accurate recall of past conversations, and having taken in more details (particularly on a social/communication level; notice the recounting of a party, after leaving. Or the objects in a room. As well as spatial location. Whereas men have better eye tracking with motion, which makes them ideal in dealing with speed, sports, emergency situations.)
Back to your q - When I learned this, it all fit together, made sense to me - the connections in female brains are linked, so that when she experiences something in the present, it easily ties to something in the past, and she not only remembers, but feels that emotion once again, often potently. Male brains are more localized, and heat up more, but in fewer areas, so when they focus, think, feel, etc., it doesn't feel the same level of intensity. Unless, of course, we're talking a trauma, PTSD-type situation, then there is an onslaught of sensory overload, once again. Females have a stress response that is more sensitive, more easily triggered, compared to men. Under extreme stress, male and female brains act similarly. But at the low end of stress, female brains have a larger stress response. And their dialogue-prioritized brains, in combination with these other female characteristics, make them... also hold grudges more.
I've personally noticed that male friends, and acquaintances, tend to get over what are really minor frictions and disagreements, more easily than females do. It's one of my favourite aspects of men. It's not true of all men. Some are petty, some retaliate, some never get over things, the wallow and lick their wounds, seemingly forever. But generally speaking, yes, they don't make 'mountains out of molehills.' (They're just as emotional, though.)
AmandaYVR yes I was gonna say all that smart stuff but you beat me to it 😅
@Orion76 My apologies for getting in your way there. 😜