Do you have to be religious and believe in a god to believe in marriage?

[ChicanaChick]

I'm done with my travels and have decided to start my search on serious commitment (and my vetting process) before it's too late. I'm not doing long-term cohabitation either nor accepting being a girlfriend for 5 years. I'm aware of not wasting too much time. Otherwise I'll be screwed. I'm using math and logic at this moment, not emotions. If I get it right, then I'm calculating I'll be 26-27 years old with my 1st child. Then probably 29-30 with my 2nd.

It's usually me doing the discarding if the man doesn't want commitment. However, I've been recently discarded myself by two marriage-minded men just for being an atheist. That alone was enough for them. Both wanted the religious ceremony thing.

I'm ok with marriage without the need to believe in a god nor religion. I would be marrying the man, not some invisible being from my imagination. But honestly do you really have to be religious and believe in a god to believe in marriage?

Updates

1 y

I've realized that nope, I don't want to wait till 30 to start the vetting process when I can start it now.

Updates

1 y

Any other idiotic person that assumes travels means sleeping around, nope. It means exactly as the word. I was doing solo travellings to learn about historical places. I didn't want neither a relationship nor sex during my travels.

[Jamie05rhs]

I love everything you wrote here. It shows that you're taking your life seriously and taking command. I have SO much respect for you for that!

To answer your question about the religious component of marriage, here's the thing:
I don't mind that you're an atheist. In and of itself, that's totally fine. That's not an issue.
And yes, you're marrying the man, not God.
BUT... Here's the problem: People make vows before God in order to add weight to the vows. Because you wouldn't want to break a promise to God, would you? (Assuming you've studied religion/ mythology/ etc. and you're familiar with the power of what a god can do.)
But if you don't even believe in God, then you probably don't fear him (meaning you don't respect him.). So even if you did PRETEND to make a promise to God, we wouldn't believe you.
But of course, no one is expecting you to pretend.
... But then, where does that leave us? You have no higher power that you are accountable to. So how is someone supposed to believe you when you say "I pledge my life to you and I will stay with you forever, through thick and thin, for better or worse"?

[ChicanaChick]

For me, just the last sentence would be enough. Someone making a pledge to me out of commitment and love (and not because of a god) for me and our lives together is even better.

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChicanaChick I agree. But how can you trust them? They could say that, but how do you know that they truly mean it in their heart? And even if they do mean it at the time, how do you know that they won't change their mind later?

[ChicanaChick]

Words are followed by actions.

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChicanaChick They SHOULD be. In an ideal world.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO!

[AMS700CX4u2]

Weddings occurred in prehistoric times. Belief in God is not necessary to commit to a spouse. You might spend some time talking to a minister. Ask him how many people did God tell to get married. Ask him why pastors always inform prospective spouses that God does not want you to get married. Somewhat confusing, Sometimes the social norm gets mixed in with religion and becomes part of the doctrine. My advise is to read and don't let anyone tell you what it means. That can lead to a lot of misunderstanding.

[LazerBean]

Not necessarily, but the overwhelming majority of men who are not a waste of time will be religious and wanting someone who is also religious.

[AMS700CX4u2]

I understand your point. Is that because those who learn the rule of the game and can abide by them usually prosper more than those who are totally against the wind

[AmyHew1tt]

No, you don't need to be. I'm not religious, but I would like to be married eventually. It just feels important to me.

[Kaneki05]

Riddle me this why would a non-christian person care about a christening. If you hold so much importance in marriage it's certainly a contradiction.

To an Atheist marriage should be nothing but just a cool ring and party without holding much significant. If you are already boyfriend and girlfriend you should already have commitment otherwise I don't see the point in been together anyway if you need a legal document by the government to tell you.

[ChicanaChick]

I can't share my assets with just a boyfriend. I can't add a boyfriend to my auto insurance or health insurance policy and if they were in a hospital (ex: needing treatment, an accident, etc), I would have no rights as just as girlfriend and vice-versa.

[Kaneki05]

I see so it's health benefit thing and etc. Think that's less important over here but yeah maybe in your country.
I guess if that's the reason then there is a reason to do it. But I would imagine there are people who would like to just keep things separate.

[Sixgunsound]

There is a difference between church marriage and civil union in a court. Marriage is ehat it is called in a religious context, despite the attempt by political propaganda stints to appropriate the word in contexts outside of what it is meant in. My wife and I had a civil union outside of a church context, so I know that of which I speak.

[WellGreetingsISay]

Even non religious people get married. It's not for a god, it's for yourselves.

[HighValue]

No, but most men interested in marriage will be religious since that is the main place marriage comes from and most won't want an atheist. Told different of beliefs.

[Guardian45]

No, you don't. My ex girlfriend was Roman Catholic and I'm an atheist. We were both openminded, so that didn't bother us.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nope.

I hate religion, I still want monogamy though, so that implies marriage.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I also only date atheist women.

[es20490446e]

The smallest and short term you decide, the better you will navigate the situations.

[SnowedIn]

Nope. Marriage is a commitment -- you don't need religion for that.

[ChicanaChick]

Cool. It just sucks that I got discarded just because I'm atheist. Otherwise we had many other things in common. Both were suitable men but I go discarded, sucks.

[SnowedIn]

Oh damn. :( I'm so sorry. That sucks hugely. I don't have words... like, obviously, it's important for people but wow.

[KrakenAttackin]

Marriage is based in religion dumb ass.

[ChicanaChick]

@KrakenAttackin
Why isn't it enough to be committed to him? Why do I have to be committed to some fictitious being that plays no part in my life?

[KrakenAttackin]

It is enough, but "marriage" is based in religion.

[KrakenAttackin]

@snowedin. Damn, change your handle to "Simped -in". Every post is you white knighting it simping.

[KrakenAttackin]

"Done with your travels"😂😂😂😂. You mean ready to hop off the cock carousel!

[ChicanaChick]

Nope. I've been single with no one. I was traveling to Egypt and other places for historical information dummy.

[ChicanaChick]

During my travels I didn't want neither a relationship nor sex, nothing.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sure thing.

[ChicanaChick]

Why can't being single and having fun include other things besides sex? Why others like you assume pleasure is all a person can do when single?
How about having fun by yourself, learning about cultures, maybe skating, hiking a mountain, etc?

[KrakenAttackin]

@ChicanaChick. Because the world knows how women are. Unless you are really nasty and fat, you were getting it on while traveling.

[ChicanaChick]

Overgeneralizing don't you think? A woman can be single and focus on herself without the need for male attention. So much things you can do just by yourself, alone without anyone.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No and no. You can easily get married for state benefits and such.