My brother treats his fiancee better than he does to me. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

I love my brother. We used to spend so much time together. When the family first met his girlfriend she was so nice. Since they got engaged everything has changed. I was excited to be a bridesmaid but because my brother chose someone else instead of one of her brothers to be his best man, she said that i couldn't be the bridesmaid. I was upset when i heard that. She gives out to my brother when we see her, she doesn't talk to me anymore. One time i was sick when we were all to go out for dinner and she said to my brother that i always get migraines when we all go out for dinner. I wasn't happy about that. One time her and my brother had a fight and he came back to the house. I tried cheering him up but when we were watching a film he was texting her constantly. I feel brother spends more time with her than me. I miss all the fun we had. What can i do?

Updates

1 y

My brother stays in her house 4 days a week. I barely see him. He buys her a lot of stuff fir her bithday, valentines day and Christmas.

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1 y

Last year i had an accident and she didn't even ask how i was or was i ok. My other brothers gitlfriend asked how i was and what happened when she heard about my accident. We see and hear from her more than the fiancee.

[PrettyPriya]

That is now someone he is going to spend the rest of his life with. Of course things are going to change. I think you are being a bit unfair. That is his future wife. Are you going to like or agree with everything they do? No, but that is their life now.

You are still a part of his life. She is just a bigger part and rightfully so. While I think they should have been accommodating in some areas, others that is their decision. The wedding is an example. That is their choice to do what they want and have the people they want involved in the wedding party.

It is THEIR day, not yours. Also, did you really think they would not spend more time together than he does with you? What did you think was going to happen? You seem to have this attitude that you should be the most important person in his life and not his future wife. You need to get that thought right out of your head.

Family is always important. Spouse will always be first though.

[RavVid]

I don't think you can or should do anything about it. Simply a wife is the most important relationship your brother will have in his mature life and you should avoid any feelings of jealousy over that. OK he was trying to patch things up with her after the fight - that was reasonable fr him to do.

It might be the fiance senses that you want to keep your brother to yourself and resents it. You do need to take a back seat and cede primacy to her.

It is unfortunate wrt the bestman/brother/bridesmaid situation and I think it was rather controlling to try and delegate a brother as best man and scrub you as a bridesmaid. Good for your brother he chose who he wanted.

I think it is best for you to build a good relationship with her and you can best start this by ceding primacy to her. If it comes to a fight most likely your brother will take her side. You can only lose.

[coachTanthony]

Sounds like you might be a little too close to your brother. We see this a lot with mothers who feel married to their son and will feel second fiddle to their partner in life. I say give him some room to breathe and let him enjoy life as it unfolds.

[Guy13]

He should as he is leaving the family and cleaving to fiancé as they build a life together. He will always love you but not in the same way as her.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

You can't do anything. Let him go, be understanding that he's moving on with his life, work to accept that he's most likely going to move in completely, get married and you're more than likely going to either have phone conversations with him once a week and/or see him on special occasions.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him seriously

[In_Trance]

Get a fiance of your own