How fast do girls get over relationships?

[FineNDandy]

I've got this friend who I actaully like or have feelings for her, recently she got out of this unofficial relationship with this other guy not to long ago. Maybe a good 2-3weeks? She knows I've got feelings for her and I kinda wanna assume she isn't really wanting to date or accept my feelings for her yet lol.

So the other day our group of friends decided to go out and eat after work. When we were ordering she asked me what I was getting and I said I wasn't sure but I surely wanted something hot since it was cold outside. She then proceeds to tell me " Oh? Like me " LOL 😆. I kinda chuckled and said " that's really cute " and she smiled. ( I was really shocked too hear something like that from her because I'm not really too sure how she views me. So we got into her car too eat and talk ( she's got the biggest car out of all of our friends ) after chit chatting and eatting all of our friends had to go home. She asked me if I was leaving too but I stayed back just too talked too her. We legit talked for about 2-3 hours straight about work and life lol. We had a really good talk we both enjoyed it. But I had to end it because it was getting late and I didn't want her to stay up all night. Because we both have really early morning shifts.( I felt like she wanted to go all night to talk to me.)

Anywho, apologies for the long ass story, but do you think she'll want too get into another relationship the fast? And is that a bad thing? Should we both take our time and just be friends for now? She actaully told me prior to going out that she didn't want me too be that rebound guy. But the way she is she's very flirty/friendly too me. It's like she's freaking teasing me cause she knows I like her lol.

[SteveSmith1985]

I can answer this very confidently. I can tell you exactly what's happening here. It's very clear BECAUSE you made this as detailed as you did.

There is no doubt that she likes you. Definitely. She is absolutely not teasing you. She very clearly likes you.

It is not a bad thing. Rebounds CAN be a bad thing. They are typically a bad thing when someone get dumped, and then tries to use the new relationship as a way to get over the old one. The other version of it, is going for someone who is wildly incompatable and out-of-your-usual because they are the polar opposite of your ex. Again, because you're not really over the ex (but they think they are).

What you have here, is just a girl who likes a guy. She just happened to have just gotten out of a relationship. She definitely isn't using you to get over anyone. You wouldn't have had that talk go the way it did if she were using you.

I talk to women on here almost exclusively... about guys. I'm good at "reading guys" to help women navigate their romantic situations. I see the female side of this all the time.

This girl likes you. It's genuine. There's nothing bad about it with regards to her having just gotten out of an unofficial relationship. This looks good man. This looks all good. If there were anything fishy here I'd tell you. But there isn't. It looks all-good. You can pretty much run with your best-case-scenario hopes for how she feels about you.

She may have just discovered it suddenly. But this is a girl who seems to really like you.

Now what you should do... is just continue to spend time with her and see where it goes. It'll be clear to you that it's time to make things more official (ask her out/say something).

But for now, since she likes you: And you like her... all you have to do is to "be around her" and this will all take care of itself.

The only way you can fuck this up, is if you do anything that suggests to her, that you're actually NOT interested in her. Anything to confuse that aspect of things.

For example, let's say you seem kinda stand-offish the next time you see her. Then you're fucked. Then she starts thinking all kinds of insane shit about how the other night must've meant nothing to you, and she was dumb to think you liked her and blah blah blah (I hear a lot of this problem on here).

So you DO want to run with your advantage. If you like her... you don't have to go out of your way to show it because you're going to naturally show it if you're near her. You'll automatically do all the looks and other signals if you spend time around her. (but if you're some cold non-flirtatious motherfucker, then I guess do make a point to let her know you like her in various ways. It's important you leave no room for her to possibly be in any doubt/confusion about that)

I am going to bed. This question was just so goddamn clear and easy to answer, I couldn't pass by without telling you. You're very very all-good. And make sure she has no room to doubt that you like her: Be near her.

Goodnight. Good luck.

This is an all-good situation unless you fuck it up. Do nothing in particular... just be near her and follow your instincts.

[SteveSmith1985]

And make sure you specifically mention how much you enjoyed your talk for fuck sakes! (I hope I didn't need to say that) 🙂

[FineNDandy]

Hey man, thank you for this response.
There's like a continuation of this if you don't mind me asking for your advice/insight.

So over the pass few days we've been hanging out since we're coworkers. We also spend time together on the weekend. On Saturday we went too the mall to shop and on Sunday I went too her house to fix her truck. So it's been really great.

Recently not too long ago I came too her house to hang with her right after work. And she told me that she didn't reciprocate my feelings towards her. She says she still has feelings for this other guy but is still trying to get over it. Do you think I still have a chance with her?

[SteveSmith1985]

Hmm... well this is a bit confusing.

She clearly likes you a whole lot (even if it's not romantic) because of the huge amount of time she wants to spend with you. You two have gotten really close, really fast (at least in how often you hang out).

Usually, people don't suddenly get that close, that fast without it being mutual romantic feeling.

At the same time... always believe somebody if they tell you that they don't reciprocate your feelings; aren't interested etc. This is not a fun or easy thing to say to someone you know likes you. People don't say that, without meaning it.

But... what exactly was said? Surely she didn't literally use the words "I don't reciprocate your feelings for me." So what did she say, exactly?

Because there are two very different possible situations here.

1. She likes you a whole lot. But only as a friend. She doesn't see you romantically, and never will.

2. She likes you a whole lot. But still has feelings for the ex. She totally sees you romantically, she just knows it's not fair or right to try to start something with you... while still having these unresolved feelings for her ex.

So what exactly was said?