How do you know when someone is love bombing you?

Question

I mean, what exactly is lovebombing? How do you identify a love bombing narcissist? And if it your partner is doing so, how would you respond to his love bombing? How do you identify a love bombing narcissist?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Love bombing isn't specific to narcissists but it is a common theme. People with ADHD also love bomb. It's basically the act of a person becoming hyperfixated on another person and the feelings they get from that person. Typically when we like a person, seeing them or thoughts about them release dopamine in the brain that make us like them more. The more we like someone, the more we want them to like us back. So we do things to make that person like us back in the same way we like them. Love bombing is that act of doing this.

Some examples could be talking to you constantly, complimenting you all the time, buying gifts, going out, spending as much time as possible together, doing things to make their lives easier, telling them how much you like them, telling them how amazing they are, telling them how much they mean to you, etc. When these things are done in a relatively short period of time (days, weeks, a few months) it's considered love bombing. It's not always a bad thing, sometimes it's just over excitement about finally finding someone you can connect with on a deeper level.

Narcissists tend to do this to make the other person fall for them so they can control the other person. A few signs the person is a narcissist is that they actively try to cut you off from family/friends. Tell you to block people, tell you not to hang out with people, etc. Not for your own welfare but for jealousy reasons. They often tend to think of themselves as better than others, overblown egos, etc. Gaslighting is a super common sign as well. Making you think your view of reality is wrong. It's a bit difficult in the beginning to identify people as narcissists but there are always signs. Try doing some research on signs of a narcissist. It will help.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I’m like.. not even sure, but I have heard from some.. that it’s:

when a person in a relationship or connection, spoils you with attention and love (that’s usually seemingly pleasant to the other, on the receiving end, or something they’d get “accustomed” to, if not so, beforehand. Then that “love bomber” immediately stops and brings all the efforts to a BARE minimum.

‘Love-bombing’ is a similar, but more in-depth ♥️ concept as “ghosting” 👻 on the media’s and such. (Is what I’d rationalize).

It’s a “love bomb” because it’s intense at the center and “place of meeting”/ confrontation, and then it quickly fades 👐 to almost nothing visible/ graspable?/ palpable/ tangible.

That is not a culture shock. Not a shell shock. Not a surprising.. shock, but a shock which is consequential and resulting, in (a love shock and) feelings of depletion/ confusion/ some level of neediness/ desperation would be apparent, as “norms”/ routines for those “bombed,” would feel drastically unstable, from the “emotional surge,” to the swift “drought” /scarcity of the affection (s) from the said “love bomber.”

How does one know? I’m not sure if it’s seen in advance lol…

I wish? The best way to prevent it in dating, is to not date them, if they don’t seem interested in growing a friendship, FIRSTLY. If they wish to rush things and do so with “positive notes” like encouragement. Just be wary/ mindful of it.

Usually these are bombs painted as hearts,

or bombs metaphorically placed inside of “cakes,” and that means it’s not easy to detect, unless you’re already within the perilous/ doomed radius, of its effects (aftermath), or the exact target of it.

misogynistic_pig · Accepted Answer

Being bombarded with love can mean different things to different people.

In general, it can be perceived as an overabundance of attention, romantic gestures, gifts and displays of affection.

Here are some common signs that someone may be bombarding you with love:

Frequent texts and calls: If the person texts you a lot or calls you frequently, even when there is no compelling reason to, they may be trying to show you how much they love you.

Unexpected gifts: If the person frequently brings you unexpected gifts, such as flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or other things that you like, it could be a sign that he is trying to show you his love for her.

Constant compliments: If the person compliments you all the time, he could be trying to make you feel special and loved.

Quick commitment requests: If the person is constantly talking about future plans together, like trips, property purchases, marriage, etc., he may be trying to show her commitment and love towards you.

It is important to note that while these actions can be a sign of love and affection, it is also possible that the person is being possessive or in need of excessive attention.

If you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable with the amount of care you're receiving, it's important to talk to the person about how you feel and set clear boundaries.

Pegases · Accepted Answer

The key is time. Love bombers will say things like they know you're the one, far too early. But because many of us enjoy hearing those things, we often ignore the fact that it's not normal to "know" someone is the one after just a few weeks. Love bombing stems from insecurity, that once you figure out who they are, you won't want them, hence why they have to move fast to get you hooked. To a narcissist, no tactic is off the table, and Love bombing is often the primary tactic because it works on people that are going through something where neglect is involved. So to identify it, pay attention to whether they switch up shortly after you hear things like you're the one, or I love you too soon. You'll start to notice inconsistencies once they believe they've got you, and thats where most people get hurt the most, because they are trying figure out why the sudden change occured, when it was all a facade from the beginning. That's why it's so important to give time to relationships, and not jump the gun. Be sincere, enjoy the moments, but keep on the back of your mind what they do, and ensure that what they matches up most of the time. The opposite, is a great indicator that that person is probably a narcissist, and just using you.

Guy13 · Answer

That clinical psychologist that was including on one of the post is an excellent source for grey stoning too. She has the credentials and common sense. Good source too me.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Is this a hypothetical question or does it concern an actual current suitor?

Anonymous · Answer

Gosh, millennials have terms for everything now. This has been pretty normal for a while. Guys overdo it at first taking you out or buying you stuff etc and then they can't afford to keep doing it forever and things settle I guess you could say. I'm amazed any young people can date anyone successfully anymore. Everything's "lovebombing" or being nice is somehow now "simping" and if you don't answer in 9 seconds you're "ghosting" and then there's rules about following people on various social medias and everyone just blocks everyone over every little thing impulsively. Glad I grew up before all this.

ManOnFire · Answer

Lovebombing is when someone all of a sudden starts showering you with affection and adoration, treating you like they care a lot about you, and deep down they really don’t.

You often hear psychologists saying it's a trait of narcissists, but I would argue that it can be found in people with limerance and people who get infatuated with you right off the bat. Because those people tend to come onto you very strongly, exuding a lot of lovebombing, and then their interest in you fades just as quickly. These kinds of people also tend to be ghosters. They have emotional illnesses about love and affection and don't really understand what either are, so they lovebomb people thinking it's a show of love, not understanding that love is a lot deeper than that.

Biancam13 · Answer

It is usually when someone barely knows you or hasn't spent enough time getting to know you, and they say things that feel unnatural or over the top. It feels wholly artificial. Like "I think you're my soulmate. I know we haven't been hanging out very long, but I can just feel it."

And when you ask them to explain why they feel this way, they don't have a solid reason or it feels really artificial. It often feels like they're saying rehearsed lines from a movie, and it feels cheesy. If you have to question if they're being fake or insincere, they probably are.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

When they're lovebombing you, these are the signs:

- They are usually exaggerating with their love declaration of eternal love and whatever bogus line they got from a movie

- They are showering you with gifts and everything is just too good to be true

- Their words do not match their actions. For instance they promised a vacation trip next month and it never happens. They're full of empty promises.

- You're promised of a future but without any short term plans, no date nor timeframe set to it. You're left dreaming about a future.

- Calling and texting you too much. They expect your undivded attention at all times. For instance if it's your b-day, there is no need to text them 20-30 happy b-day FB cards or call 5 times wishing them a happy b-day. Once is enough.

DermalPunch · Answer

They claim they want a relationship very early on and literally say they love you so much constantly. They will use the line they " have a feeling that they can't describe." <<<----  Look out for that last phrase right there.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Lalalalove bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it.

melanieeeB · Answer

Constant compliments, affection and excessive attention and admiration... you feel overwhelmed and not always in the good way.. it's just way too much, mostly also happening in a very short time period after getting to know each other.

A narcissistic person doing it? Well if they love bomb you but then need something out of you or like guilt trip you into feeling or like afterwards they make you feel awful-cold and warm when they need you to stay-

Adam1978 · Answer

Expand the distance to get my peace. Clearly it's too much if you get bombarded. Ie the person that does it doesn't pause and read the room she blindly follow her own path with no consideration where he is in the relationship phase. So she is out of sync.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

I’d be careful with differentiating love bombing and someone who actually just really cares for you. I define love bombing as someone showering you with to much to soon, like buying you expensive jewelry on the first date and you previously never knew them.

Love bombing is an extreme attempt to show affection in the hopes to manipulate.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Love bombing is when someone showers you with tons of things and kind deeds but for a self-guided purpose.

It need not be a romantic suitor. Many churches use love bombing as a way of getting people to convert and once they get what they want, the service and kind acts miraculously disappear.

WhitneySnow · Answer

You can tell they’re not being sincere they don’t really love you they’re just using you

Agirlinneedhelp · Answer

I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel weird and I get cold feet even if I was really into the person.

Breanna_nonbinary · Answer

Easy. They bombard you with compliments and things go to fast too soon. If you seem too nice or have high expectations.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I think when I'm feeling succocated by his affection?

Pizzette_ · Answer

Calling more than 10 times in a day... "You don't love me" cries all over the day lol I would try to make make her calm and make her ask herself that what the fuck she is doing

Still-alive · Answer

Pretty good video explaining this

007kingifrit · Answer

this isn't a real thing, stop using the internet if you're going to pick up things like this

Pyrofox · Answer

Going all the way with the affection.

sheenagwapa · Answer

when yky are lyinh... true love is consistent

Nikki1989 · Answer

When they are possessive and controlling.

In_Trance · Answer

Pay attention

How do you know when someone is love bombing you?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said