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Would you ask your boyfriend/girlfriend for paying the rent if he/she is living in your house? I don't know how to tell him but I want him to pay at least the half of the rent :(
It's understandable to feel uncomfortable bringing up the topic of money with your partner, but it's important to address the issue if it's causing you stress or financial strain. Here are some tips for asking your boyfriend to contribute to rent:
1. Be clear and direct: Start by being clear and direct about your expectations. Let your boyfriend know that you expect him to contribute to rent, and be specific about how much you would like him to pay.
2. Be honest: Be honest about why you're asking him to contribute. Let him know if you're struggling to make ends meet or if his lack of financial contribution is causing you stress.
3. Be firm: Don't be afraid to stand your ground if your boyfriend resists the idea of contributing financially. Be firm in your expectations and explain that it's important for the health of the relationship.
4. Discuss a plan: Work together to come up with a plan for how your boyfriend will contribute financially. This could include splitting rent and utilities, or contributing to groceries and household expenses.
5. Be open to compromise: Be open to compromise and willing to listen to your boyfriend's concerns or suggestions. Work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
Remember, it's important to have open and honest communication in your relationship, including when it comes to finances. Don't be afraid to have a conversation with your boyfriend about contributing to rent, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
Here's an example of what you could say to your boyfriend to ask him to contribute to rent:
"Hey [boyfriend's name], I want to talk to you about our living situation. As you know, we've been living together for four months now, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with the cost of rent. I was hoping we could come up with a plan for you to contribute financially to our living expenses. I think it's fair for us to split the cost of rent and utilities, so I was wondering if you would be willing to pay half of the total rent each month. What do you think?"
Remember to be clear, direct, and honest about why you're asking your boyfriend to contribute to rent, and be willing to have an open and honest conversation about finances. It's important to work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
If I could vote this MHO I would. I was a dick in my answer. I cannot imagine a able bodied engaged man with a woman and a home to go to not pulling their weight, that is unattractive in a way that mothers must feel awkward their teenage sons when they dont pull their weight.
@Heterosketero I agree. It's understandable to feel frustrated and disappointed when a partner doesn't contribute equally to the household. It's important to communicate your expectations and work together to find a solution that works for both of you. You could try approaching the topic by expressing how you feel and asking for their perspective. For example, you could say something like "I feel overwhelmed with the work around the house and would appreciate if we could work together to divide tasks more evenly. How do you feel about our current division of labor?" Then, you can work together to come up with a plan that works for both of you. It's important to remember that communication and compromise are key in any relationship.
u 1. You should have had this discussion before he moved in with you. Yes, it will be awkward now.
2. If you are engaged, as your profile suggests, you can start talking about how you handle finances together as a couple. Do you have one checking account that gets both incomes? Each have a separate account? Have a joint account that you fund together and use to pay household bills? Whatever you decide, you fllow up with "let's start trying that now to see how it works."
3. What is he doing with his money now?
4. Is he paying for other things, like groceries and utilities, and maybe he thinks that is his fair share?
Very good reply.
@LittleSally Thank you, ma'am!
ha ha. Has he fallen on hard times or did you find him like this. Nope honest be straight up with him and say look I need you to help me pay rent. If not, are you looking for somewhere else to live.
if he doesn’t have a key or his name isn’t on the lease, then you should have no problem kicking him out.
Thank you hope you got a little clarity
That is something which should have been worked out before he became a roommate and in fact he should be splitting all your monthly bills with you. Any guy who would try to get out of that commitment along with becoming known as an EX, should be back out on the street.
Opinion
76Opinion
From my point of view, this should have been discussed before he moved in and, depending on his situation, he should be paying half of the overall expenses, not just the rent.
Test
Ideally he should be paying the equivalent of half of all living expenses but there are some situations where it's not fair to ask that.
My stepsister is the main breadwinner in her family. She's a manager in a finance company while he's a foreman for a building firm. He rebuilt their house from the foundations up and looks after the children a lot more than she does. He does half the cooking, cleaning and all of the building maintenance. The tech setup, fence and the pond are all his work only. His pay doesn't allow him to contribute half financially but he has made up for it in other ways. He's good with his hands and bad with things needed for office work, so changing industry isn't really an option.
There may be other extenuating stances such as certain illnesses or disabilities that make working (full time or otherwise) impossible.
I don't know what your circumstances are but it sounds like nothing I've listed above, in which case two or three of the helpful answers here will be better go-tos. Hopefully he will be amenable to pulling his weight. If not, you need to consider if he is using you.
Has he contributed to the household expenses situation in any way? Does he help with cleaning and maintaining the house? Does he provide any assistance at all or pull his weight in any respects that you can think 🤔F? IF THE ANSWER IS N😳, HE D🤬ESN'T THEN WHAT 🌐N [[[🌍🌎🌏]]] 🌡️S HE D🤯ING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE 🌡️🌡️🌡️
IT IS AN ACCEPTED CONDITION OF SCIENCE, THAT TWO OBJECTS OF EQUAL MASS CANN🚫T 🤑CCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME. HE CANN🤯T 🐝 W😇RTHY 🤓F BEING.
Y😎UR B♂️YFRIEND, IF ALL HE DOES IS
💸🧽💸 💸😭FF💸 💸Y🥺UR💸
💸GENER😇SITY💸 AND 👎P🙌T👎 Y😮💨U IN 🅰️ P😫SITION LIKE THIS 😞NE WHERE Y🙄U NEED TO ASK HIM S🖖CH
☣️♂️🤜💥😑UNC😐MF😶RTABLE😑💥🤛♂️☣️
QUESTI🤔NS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
If the answer is yes, then he might be worthy of a sit down discussion about what's needed from him to sustain this currently unsustainable living expense situation so that you and he can initiate a mutually beneficial and enjoyably -- coexisting living arrangement, for the purposes of you not being forced to toss him out on his 👂.
Frankly, I cannot believe that he has been negligent in pitching in financially for this long, but then again, 👁️ am not as close to this situation as you are, and therefore have no 🚧❤️🔥blinders❤️🔥🚧
🦯👩🦯❤️🔥🦯obscuring🦯❤️🔥👩🦯
my peripheral view of your
☠️financially-💔-emotionally☠️
Untenable (No win, no way, no how, no chances of a positive outcome scenario)
💸⚠️situation⚠️💸=😭
🤑👉🐈💨👫👈♂️☣️♂️👉🦨💨👩❤️👨👈💨💸💔
I'd simply say that, listen I know how things have been and I've never asked this of you before, but right now things aren't the easiest, and I'm trying to work on things in my life to make them better, and right now things are financially tight, (or whatever it is) and it would be a lot less of a stressful situation if you could help me moving forward with the rent, and if he wasn't happy about it, then I would just say listen, we both live together but I'm paying for everything alone when I shouldn't be because you live here with me, you use the water the heat the electricity and phone and internet and you eat too!
So he's a freeloader. He's using you.
Why doesn't he have his own place? Is he a bum?
Tell him that he can't live there anymore unless he pays half of the bills. If he has any class or any respect for you at all, he'll realize that you're right. He'll apologize for being thoughtless and not offering to do it before.
If he gives you crap about having to pay his fair share, then kick him out and find a boyfriend who has a sense of honor and who respects you. After all, what's the point of wasting your time with a guy like that. Would you want to marry a spoiled couch potato who treats you like his mommy?
Like this, or something similar:
"Hey Susan, you've been living here for 4 months now, but you haven't contributed to the monthly rent, which is $2,000. Your half is $1,000 each month, and the next time this is due is March 30th. Are you having any financial difficulty that would prevent you from being able to pay this by the last day of each month so that we have all the funds by the first?"
If, 'yes I have some financial difficulty' or any other answer in the line of 'I don't want to/can't pay my half of the rent.' then the next statement is:
"Okay, well if you can't afford to or don't want to pay to live here, you cannot continue to stay here. You need to come up with the money, or find another place to keep your things by the 30th."
https://www.youtube.com/embed/SIdxVR_7ikg
That's a seriously tough question. Laws prevent just booting someone out, and the social context is another element.
Find jobs for him, and cross your fingers he actually takes one of them up and starts to chip in. That's my advice... get the jobs lined up for him. Most guys will just do any job that drops in their lap... it's finding the jobs that stops some of us.
Also, hate to break it to you, but by letting him move in... it's not real marriage but it's a form of marriage already.
No, not in this case. he isn't paying rent and hasn't. He isn't her tenant. He has no rights.
To be honest, why should he; when he has no legal obligation to do so?
This is why you should always have contracts when dealing with money and asset matters. Doesn't matter if it's neighbour, father, or boyfriend. It's a good life lesson you have learned.
Anyway, you sit him down and say that bills and rent (if you are renting) are becoming a problem for you (even if they are not). This way you are not forcing him into anything and you are giving him the option.
If he says he'll pitch in with both, then you've got a keeper. If he says he'll just pay bills, or half of rent, then ENSURE you draw up a contract.
I would probably be offended if my girlfriend discussed me paying my share before I moved in. Not because she asked me to but because she thought she had to and that I won’t offer. I never expect anything but would appreciate offer and that is the issue for me here if you love someone you would want to share everything with them bills included, you shouldn’t have to ask.
But before we roast the guy, how long he’s been living with you? Does he work? Did he pick up the utility bill for example if he doesn’t make much yet wants to help the thought counts here, big time.
I probably wait till bill time grab those bills and start writing checks in his presence lol.
I think it partly depends on if he's helping in a tangible way, and if he can afford it. I get that it's your boyfriend, and perhaps the move in was temporary, or quickly decided on, so...
I personally think it should have been decided on before or fairly soon after he moved in... but since it's still new, you can maybe come up with an agreement. If reasonable, I would still get a signed agreement...
A contract also kind of gives you something if he ends up being vindictive (let's say there's a breakup, and he decides to get even, etc). If you trust him, it's up to you, whether you do one or not... but it just helps make things clearer. I think if he's a reasonable guy, and you include him on drafting something up that is fair for both of you, that will be better.
Everyone is saying the same thing and I agree , it should've been discussed beforehand but that's not to help the current situation. If he is not helping out or contributing anything at all kick his freeloading ass out because you shouldn't have to ask a grown man for rent in a place he know he lives in. It sounds like he is taking advantage but I don't want to pass too much judgement. Just be straight forward and say u need him contribute or he can find other living arrangements as well as a new relationship
I would express that things are tight, or that your rent has gone up, and that you're really stressing about this. If he doesn't do anything or offer to pitch in, then he's either a jerk or a bit clueless. Then id just ask him directly to help, then you can discuss a plan with him.
If he doesn't feel the obligation to pay half, if not more, now, then you are taking the place of his mother. He needs a place to stay and thinks his penis is worth his half of the rent. If you don't stop him now it will only get worse. You are being abused. Once again it will only get worse but the emotions will be more intense.
let me tell you one thing as a guy. We aren't smart. if you're expecting he would by himself think that he should be paying the half. No your wrong. Just say can you help me paying the rent or just say pay up the rent. like i mean say direct to him choose the proper way to do so cuz you don't want him to take it to his ego. just say it as a joke and if he gets offended say it's a joke or else aay directly. but the main point is. you have to tell him that he have to pay rent..
p. s : I'm giving this advice by considering myself in the situation. please don't get offended.
Does he even have a job? He sounds like a dead beat.
How old is he by the way? If wonder if you are a cougar. The vast majority of older guys usually have way too much pride to mooch off a woman like this (vice versa is different though).
You honestly shouldn’t allowed him to move in with you in the first place if he had no intention to help pay bills with you , but you did , so you kind of dug your own grave on this one , The only thing you can do now is ask him , sit down with him and basically tell him straight out to help you with paying bills if he doesn’t make an effort to do so then kick his ass out
Does he have an income? Is your boyfriend in a financial situation to help with the apartment expenses? If he does, and he hasn't given you any money, then you need to asses this situation. Is he using you for a place to live? What's his plan? I would start the conversation very lightly and go from there. Good luck ✌️
Sounds feasible, to me.
As this is now OUR apartment, it's only fair that we both share in the rent.
If you can't both afford to pay half, maybe take turns paying it. You take all the even months, he takes all the odd ones, or something like that. Or, you create a rent pot, figure out how much the rent is per day, divide by 2 and you each put that much into the pot every day. When it comes time to pay, there SHOULD be enough in it to pay the bill.
If the move-in is official, then yeah. Talk about putting his name on the lease and how he needs to actually help out with rent. If he doesn’t want to, tell him you don’t think he can stay here without paying.
You don't ask. You tell.
You shouldn't have let him move in without receiving payment.
Just like you asked total strangers for advise. Hey boy, you live here you will need to pay rent. Don’t be a push over. Tell him the terms for living with you. If you never made terms and just decided this was ok. Then it’s going to be hard to restructure the unwritten, non verbal rules. But that’s on you to do that.
HE DOESN'T HELP YOU AT ALL? WHAT ARE YOUR AGES? NUMBER ONE, NUMBER TWO DOES HE HAVE A JOB AT LEAST? A REAL MAN SHOULD BE PAYING AT LEAST HALF, (BUT OFFER TO PAY ALL) THE BILLS.. I'D BE REAL QUICK TO LEAVE THAT SITUATION GIRL... HE SHOULD HAVE OFFERED TO HELP YOU...
Being a guest stops after the first week or two. Just come out point blank ask for assistance with utilities and groceries. Food is quite expensive and so are some of the utilities. You're never ending guests should help contribute. The only place that nobody's going to say anything is if you're a parent to that person that's moving back in. It still doesn't hurt to ask for assistance with the groceries and some of the utilities that they may use.
Ask, but you might have a tough situation depending upon the laws where you live. Where I am after 30 days a person technically has residency rights and you have to go through an eviction if you want him or her out if the person refuses to pay. While it is easier if the person lives in the same home you live in, it can still be costly and if you decide to do a lockout you could be running afoul of the law and get hit with harsh financial penalties.
m Anybody living under the roof has to do their part. If this guy doesn’t understand that he isn’t worth your time.
I feel like it's time for you to start helping with the rent. Starting (name a date) you will need to pay half. I love you and I'm glad we had this talk!
Its simple, you simply tell him he needs to pay for half of the rent and produce a reciept.
If he refuses, tell him that he has to move out.
Thats how that works.
I mean definitely should have been mentioned before moving in. But at the same time , how is the guy mooching without a problem? I myself would have mentioned it, I would offer. I would never be able to not do or say anything. This "boyfriend" seems kinda like a jerk.
Just speak with him, and explain him the Situation and then Look how He will work with it. And if He dont want to pay the halth sorry then He needs to go.
You should have discussed this with him before you let him move in with you.
Start by having that discussion now. With him. If he's not willing to do that, then kick him out. If he starts harassing you, break up with him.
Honestly, I would not move in together without discussing it. If some exceptional case was the reason you all had to move in together, I would place a deadline on that situation. When the deadline comes, they either start helping pay or move out and maintain a distant relationship for the moment
Ask him? How?
Pay or bounce. like seriously?
He can be your man but he will have to live elsewhere.
Does he contribute in other ways to make up for his fiduciary deficiencies?
Like why do you feel wrong or bad about this? You need to address that within yourself.
What kind of man moves in with you and pay all the bills excluding food, cell phone, etc... why I refuse to deal with modern men 50/50 responsibilities
Just give me your address. I can use someone to pay rent for me so I can freeload too. Reminds me of some case from Judge Judy as this seems to happen a lot.
If you are both on the rental agreement, then make the Landlord right him on the agreement with showing what he should be paying. He should not be living there scott free if you let him go on things won't get better.
I would recommend having an adult conversation highlighting the costs associated with having your own place and that since he has moved in (which I assume you want/appreciate) you would like to share the rent / costs….
This is a conversation that should've happened way before he moved. He should be ashamed of living under your roof without contributing. He needs to pay and you need to tell him from now on you want to share bills.
Is his name on the lease? If not, let him know that he has two options. Find his own place or get a job to contribute to rent, otherwise he will be removed from thr apartment
I mean, he can get out if he's not down to pay rent... This guy sounds like a scrub, and if he's not paying rent, then he needs to cook, clean, do your laundry, drive you to/from work, etc.
For sure, if she moved in I wouldn't expect her to pay half if she made less than me. I would work something out with her that it is proportionate to our pay cheques.
Does he work? Please tell me he pays for things other then rent if he doesn't work and he doesn't pay for anything at all then he's not your boyfriend he's using you for a place to crash and all the benefits that come with it I bet he makes excuses as to why he doesn't pay half the rent
You just want to say "this is not a discussion I want to have but I can't keep paying for everything, we need to discuss how we are going to split the household bills"
How is this even happening? In the UK it’s implied you will pay at least half of the rent or some form of contribution from the moment you move in with someone it isn’t even a question you either do it or get out..
I wish that was like that in the US!
you are engaged and he didn't offer to pay for rent or anything? This is a mess and you are too passive. just talk...
Psssshhhhh, ask? Wtf. I am telling you, you permission to tell him. Or bring someone home who can. You can let him know, I think he's weak and a child.
If he has lived that long and does not even feel he has to pay, do you think he is worth telling? If I were you I would tell him to leave.
"Hey, if you wanna live with me, you gotta help me out here. Money wise. Understand? Need to help pay these bills."
There are several ways, but simply just ask him straight up. Like hi, so we now live together and that means we share this space. So let's share the bills.
If my partner or friend wanted to move in with me they best be helping out with the bills & rent. As for how do you ask? You don't you tell him this is what you owe.
He’s using you. What do you mean he’s been living with you for 4 months but pays no bills? That’s not a man.
tell him straight, everything has to be paid for and to tell him to pay his share,
Here once you move in everything is 50/50 that's just common sense here, you can ask him to pay for at least half trough conversion about finances
Tell him he needs to start paying rent. Give him a date to start playing rent. If he does Not pay on that day give me three days to move. If he does Not move contract the Police to see if there is anything they can do to help you!
Give him until the end of the month to start paying his fair share or you will throw all his stuff on the front lawn and change the locks.
living together so then it doesn’t seem unreasonable to share the bills including rent
Butcher him and put him in the freezer
(I'm just kidding, but it looks like you got some good answers already. So you don't need mine)
Yes you have to talk with him like today
He isn’t paying anything at all? Fuck leave or talk to him today
As of now I’m sure you know it he is using you
I’d just tell him. If he wants to continue to stay, he needs to start contributing to the bills.
Just ask him outright.. if your together then it should not be a problem if he has a problem with helping out find a new man.. dont settle for less. good luck
A relationship is something common for you both. Do not encourage someone to enjoy things for free, while you do all the work. Your satisfaction matters too. Be direct. See his reaction/ response.
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