Why would a cheater be paranoid you're cheating?

[Anonymous]

So the guy I’m seeing now cheated on his last ex and is paranoid I’m cheating. He says he doesn’t cheat anymore and learned his lesson.

[Finchie40]

Because Karma is a real thing for the most part How often does your boyfriend seem worried that you are going to cheat on him? That will help me answer Your question better, But for the most part When someone can cheat on someone , it is wrong in every aspect, because it is a selfish decision and sadly most people are selfish in general and never really point fingers at themselves first , they point fingers at others first because it’s hard for them to admit to themselves , that they are a piece of shit , your boyfriend is more than likely worried you will cheat on him , because he is a piece of shit , He is scared that you will do to him what he did to someone else , My advice to you is to dump his ass if he is constantly worried that you are going to cheat on him cuz sadly he is eventually going to cheat on you , because he is projecting his own insecurities onto you , the fact that he doesn’t trust you , is going to make him cheat on you , sorry to say , because he is going to feel like you are going to beat him to it , so by him cheating on you first is going to be his defense , if he finds out you cheated on him , so he can basically throw it in you face and say that he knew you weren’t Going to stay faithful to him , so I fucked so and so , to give him an excuse for his actions and try to play a victim. Sadly cheating is a manipulative tactic that people use to gain control over someone, that they have a hard time trusting in cuz they don’t trust themselves , they will play a victim before admitting that they really are the piece of shit , They will make every excuse for their actions by projecting it on to you , and tell you, that you were the one that stepped Out of line , when really the cheater was already out of line in the first place. I cheated on a girl in my younger years , I regretted every second of it because she didn’t deserve it , I was a selfish asshole just thinking with my dick , I could barely look her in the eyes and tell her that I loved her cuz I knew I was a piece of shit and I knew I would be devastated if she cheated on me , at that moment I confessed everything to her and told her that she deserves better , the crazy thing was she wanted to give me a second chance and I told her No , it isn’t fair to you , and yes part of me felt like she was eventually going to cheat on me for revenge if I stayed with her , so I ended it with her , That was the last time I ever cheated on someone that gave me their heart and it was a lesson learned in myself that it isn’t worth it , Through the years I ended up getting cheated on by girls that I gave my heart to so I had a hard time understanding why they cheated on me , I started losing trust in girls cuz I realized I did nothing but treat them like gold , so why are they cheating on me? To realize to never take the blame for someone cheating on you , it’s their own selfish decision and actions , When someone is constantly worried or accusing you of cheating , you are best to walk away , because more than likely they already cheated on you or about to cheat on you , it just depends on how often they accuse you of cheating , if it’s once in awhile then more than likely it’s just means they love you and that are scared to lose you but if it’s consistent dump there ass , When someone constantly projects their insecurities onto you it means they are up to no good , They have a hard time Trusting and will try to play a victim.

[Sleeper07]

Cheating is done when someone's needs are not being met or some boundary was wildly betrayed, he had to have had a good reason for wanting to cheat on his ex, either she didn't listen to him or SOME need he had was not being fulfilled and he expressed said need, yet she ignored it.

If you both have a good relationship and you both fulfill each others needs and fully respect each other's boundaries, there is no reason for you to cheat. The phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" is not actually true.

I speak from experience as I was a cheater at one point, but I really was willing to remain fully committed to the new girl, as much as she was to me. Like she would follow me around wherever I went and let me lead the way in the relationship.

[FreyaRed]

"... learned his lesson. "

Sure he did, you can trust him 5000%. lol
Cheating on cheater hurts their ego. They feel belittled and butthurt because they know exactly, sincere communication and real affection are definitely over.

[Vegasrunner]

@freyared A man cheating is way different then a women cheating. If a man has the ability to cheat that just means he has a high enough value.

[FreyaRed]

when the girl checks if her value "high enough" than is this suddenly very, very evil, isn't it?

[Vegasrunner]

@freyared No I don't think there's anything "evil" about it. Women are born w/ inherent value so it's pretty common to run into women who already believe they're high value.

[SusanColleen]

I warned Todd if he ever cheats on me, I’ll sleep with every male friend and coworker he has. A divorce would cost him too much, so he’ll be stuck with “cleaning up” an angry wife after my “dates”.

[Vegasrunner]

@SusanColleen TBH if he still stuck around after you cheating that means he wasn't high value enough to cheat in the first place.

[OfMiceandMen]

Cheating abusive guys are like that. It's okay for them to cheat but not you and god forbid if you ever call them out on their cheating, bc they can do no wrong. It can be really nasty if you decide to leave them, bc you are defying them and they've lost all control in the situation.

[ChillaxingLove]

Because they know the tricks they use. So because they themselves can’t be trusted they look constantly at what you’re doing to find something they know they themselves would do if they were you. However they only judge themselves as they judge you.

[peedy]

I dont really know but it is true that a cheater will always accuse you of cheating maybe they think that everyone is like them or they are trying to put the pressure on you to get it off of them if you are always defending yourself from false accusations than you font have time to look at or think about what they are doing
Im not and never have been a cheater so I really don't know exactly what goes through their heads I do know it really sucks being with one

[MementoMori777]

Cause they do it but don't like when it happens to them

[genericname85]

xD well obvioulsy they fear being treated by people like they treat people xD

[slatyb]

He's a cheater and will cheat on you.

[melanieeeB]

People mostly project their own ways on others

[melanieeeB]

Like they think you have a certain trait or must be feeling that or this way, just cause they would be like that in a situation