Most Helpful Opinions
Here's a dirty little secret- it's much easier to for a guy to get a girlfriend than get and keep a close female friend.10
What Girls & Guys Said
It’s difficult to say exactly why your guy friend wanted to be physical with you but denied having a relationship with you after you confessed your feelings to him. However, there could be a number of potential reasons why he acted this way.
One possibility is that he may not feel the same way about you and is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. It's important to respect his feelings and boundaries, even if they may not align with your own.
Another possibility is that he may be afraid of damaging your friendship by taking things to the next level. He may value your friendship and not want to risk losing it by pursuing a romantic relationship.
It's also possible that he may be going through his own personal issues or struggles that are affecting his ability to pursue a romantic relationship. It may be helpful to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also communicating openly and honestly with him about your feelings and expectations.
Ultimately, the best way to gain clarity on his intentions and feelings is to communicate honestly and openly with him in a non-confrontational and respectful way. If you are struggling to move past your feelings for him, it may be helpful to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals, such as a therapist or counselor, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate your emotions and your relationship.10
stop and think of how many guys you told him about you having slept with in those 12 years (dating, hooking up, or something else) , probably crying on his shoulder after a breakup or 2. he probably just wants his turn.10
Because he's not really a friend. He wanted to have sex with you, not be in an actual relationship. Basically he's a turd.10
Why don’t you ask him today?10
You'd have to ask him why10
Well, you haven't provided any information about what happened during those years. Did you have any relationships during that time period? Has he seen how you treat someone while you're in one vs you leaving, etc? A lot of different factors can add up to an otherwise different outcome than what you'd expect. Maybe he saw a side of you that he didn't like and that made him less interested in you as a partner. Perhaps even without you being in a relationship, he's decided that you aren't compatible with him for a commitment and strictly wants to be physical with you.
Many people don't seem to understand that just because you're comfortable as friends that it can translate into a relationship. A lot of factors can be at play, including not aligning in values. It's best for you to ask why to him, than simply asking a question on a website.