Will this situationship ever become a relationship?

[LittleMissy93]

I have been in a situationship for a year and I'm in love with this guy. We see each other at least once a week and we have sex (rarely but it happens). He is not affectionate, doesn't kiss or hug me or anything unless I initiate and he doesn't text me throughout the week. We were dating casually for two months when he found out he'd knocked someone up two months before we met. They have twins now and he says he just needs to figure things out for a bit before he can be in a full blown relationship.

I think it's possible he's just very distracted by this huge life change. He says he likes me and doesn't just want to be friends and he also told me he hasn't had sex with anyone else since we met.

Do you think we'll ever really date or is he just not that into me?

[Juicyred921]

I would honestly just let him go. I know it’s hard. I know you like him. But trust me. Let it go. I’ve been in your shoes. It only leads to pain and heartbreak. He’ll just keep saying he likes you but isn’t ready for a relationship. Keep stringing you along. Telling you what you wanna hear. But he’s not mentally capable of having any type of relationship with anyone. He likes to have girls as friends, that he has the option to hook up with if he wants. It’s possible he has had some childhood trauma that makes it almost impossible to get close to people in an intimate way. He doesn’t like intimacy, he might also have trust issues, but he enjoys casual friendships to not get too close but gets what he needs out of them. Sex, short term companionship, etc. Please don’t think you can help him or change him. You can’t. Only he can, when he’s ready. Don’t waste your time and energy on someone that needs to get their shit together. It’ll just going to damage your heart and soul in the end. Trust me.

[ILoveAnime]

Personally, I'm not sure but one way or another I don't think you should go for it. Ultimately it's your decision off course but it seems like he doesn't actually care about you. As they say "If he wanted to, he would". But even if he cares, is this really a relationship you envision for yourself? Someone who never gives you certainties and always keeps you guessing (and not in a good way)? Remember you will be dating him as he is now, not what you see in his potential.

[Mangospacho]

I still don’t know if there’s any good reasons to even pursue a relationship with this guy. You’re gonna find yourself throwing his baby mama a baby shower still wondering if you’re ever gonna be in a legitimate relationship with him. If he has two children and a third on the way and he STILL needs to figure things out, he’s never gonna figure them out.

[OlderAndWiser]

Wishful thinking can waste far too many years for you!

[definitelyNotHer]

Having children is a HUGE change to your life and by how you described his situation it seems as if the children were a surprise to him. If that's the case, he did not have time to prepare for parenthood. He's probably deciding if he wants to be in their life or not and figuring out how to support them. Unless this man has given you reason to not believe that he does have feelings for you, I would believe him. Maybe just give him time, I'm not saying let him drag you along for months and years waiting for him to make up his mind but give him some grace here.

this sort of negates what I just said about giving him time but before you do that, have a conversation with him. If you're close with him tell him you're willing to help him in any way you can but mostly just give him space and time and if he really does care or want a relationship with you, he'll come around.

[ChillaxingLove]

Hard truth: He just wants you for sex. Set friendship boundaries and find someone else to date. One thing is going to happen; he is either going to fight to keep you or let you go. Stop wasting your time.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you aren't even having regular, frequent sex with him now is a HUGE red flag. I'd say the odds of this going the distance are super slim.

Also, don't you find it odd that a dude who was banging to different chicks in a couple of months is suddenly now rarely having sex at all? I mean, since he claims he's only fucking you and YOU aren't having much sex. Just seems odd, no?

[magiusX26]

less likely than it should be. should not gave slept with him till you knew what kind of relationship it actually was 1st (bare minimum) . so trying to set a boundry along those lines now will be more difficult.

[spartan55]

I'll say it again: if he wanted to be in a relationship with you, he would. Not some stupid situationship. Why did you agree to that?

[DermalPunch]

He has never been into you, actually. Please move on.

[noohair]

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex
That was love and marriage.
Women wanted freedom and equality.
This is the unintended consequence.

[Softlife808]

At what point do you girls on here read and comprehend your own post. He doesn't like you move on. This is weird

[Danael31]

I would say yes, just give him time. But accept his non-romantic natural behavior.

[Anonymous]

“A man who is into you won’t let you wonder!”

[Anonymous]

oh hell no... stay away from this dude.

[i_Like_Pandas]

Can I ask what makes you attracted to him?