Why did he say all this to me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always really liked this guy I have worked with for 3 years. We have always had a flirty friendship but nothing ever happened. He had been single for the last year or so and I started to have feelings for him.

But then he got back together with his ex in January and they just got engaged!

I went to congratulate him and he was super happy and excited to tell me. I was a bit sad because of my secret feelings for him but I am actually happy for him too.

That day we had a big meeting at work and my boss poked fun at me for being the only one left at work who’s still single. Everyone else is either married or in a relationship.

I just laughed it off and he made some other jokes about me and how I must struggle to pay rent or even buy a house, have to do things on my own.. things like that. Everyone was laughing at me so I just laughed and poked fun at myself too and said I could have all those things but you don’t pay me enough.

Anywayyy…The same day I was out of the office for lunch and when I came back I bumped into my guy friend and he held the door open for me and asked to talk to me.

He said he felt really sorry for me during the meeting and I brushed it off and said oh I don’t care he says things like that to me all the time and I laughed. Trying to make light of the situation while I’m truly heartbroken inside crying.

He then said I think you’re a little soul and I really don’t understand why you’re single. I just don’t get it and shook his head. I said I’ve just not had much luck finding someone who wants me yet (still nervously laughing)

He said you must be going to the wrong places and that the guys in my home town must be blind because it makes no sense.

I joked and said well I don’t really leave the house these days (sadly true) and he laughed.

He then said I deserve someone nice and I said awe thanks so do you.

Then we just stared at each other for what felt like forever and he put his hand on my shoulder and walked away.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you may be feeling uncertain and anxious about the situation with the guy you've been talking to. It's important to listen to your own feelings and intuition, and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and expectations.

It sounds like your partner has been clear and honest with you about his priorities and his current level of commitment. It's important to respect his boundaries and decisions, and to focus on building a strong and healthy relationship based on trust and mutual respect.

However, it's also important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and to consider what you want and need in a relationship. If you feel that you are not getting the level of commitment or security that you need, it may be helpful to have a honest and respectful conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns.

Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship or walk away is up to you, and should be based on your own values, needs, and feelings. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, while also respecting their boundaries and decisions.

[Asker]

You didn’t read my question..,

[Tyrael]

Did you just copy and paste this rubbish? Cause it's got nothing to do with the asker's question

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, based on the information you provided, it may be possible that the guy you have feelings for may have been trying to console you or show you support during the meeting where your boss made jokes about your single status. He may have sensed that you were feeling down or embarrassed, and wanted to make you feel better by telling you that he thinks highly of you and doesn't understand why you're single.

It's also possible that he was trying to express his own feelings for you, but was hesitant to do so directly because he is currently engaged to someone else. The fact that he held your gaze for a long time and touched your shoulder before walking away could be interpreted as a sign of romantic interest, but it's impossible to know for sure without more context or information about his behavior and actions.

Regardless of his motivations, it's important to remember that he is currently engaged to someone else, and pursuing a romantic relationship with him at this time would not be appropriate or respectful to his fiancée. It may be helpful to focus on your own feelings and needs, and to consider seeking support from friends or a therapist as you navigate your emotions around this situation.

[Tyrael]

I think it's clear he sees value you in you as a partner but he's also making it clear he's with his fiancée now and that avenue is off limits now sadly. I'd take his advice and get out and try meet people.

[AlexisDiani]

Well firstly your boss is a dick. The guy has feelings for you. Neither of you made a move when you had the chance.

[Anonymous]

I guess he only see's you as a friend?