If I invite a guy friend to a bar am I obligated to buy him a drink?

Question

If I invite a guy to a bar (just a friend, its not a date) am I obligated to buy him a drink or is it fine for each of us to just get our own? I would prefer to just get our own because I don't drink alcohol and have no idea what to ask for. I just like the social setting of a bar to hang out at.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I'm "traditional" so I would always pay (I also only date traditional women), but this drives me crazy.

Every time people talk about who pays for things, women either say "the man should always pay" - which is true and fine IF the woman is also traditional (few women are today, at least in western culture), or they say "whoever asks should pay" - knowing damn well that the vast majority of women NEVER do the asking.

And then, when a woman IS doing the asking, half the women say "you shouldn't have to pay just because you asked." What hypocritical horseshit.

It's not the money that I care about, it's the complete lack of accountability and fairness. The constant moving of the goal posts so that the woman always had the advantages, and how so many women rationalize doing so. Most women can't even show 10 seconds of appreciation to the guy who happily spends several hours of wages on you, and then you wonder why so many men expect sex from you. YOU have made everything transactional by always taking, so you shouldn't be surprised when your dates expect to receive something in the transaction.

It's exactly this attitude why so many men feel completely free to use and discard women. And right now, as much as I normally don't agree with them, I'm having trouble not doing so.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Its a freind date, quit lying to yourself. Woman asks guy to bar as a freind... guys will always be like sure we can go to bar as a freind, but in the back of his head he is think let's see where it goes from there. Because if he was not interested in sex, he would not come.

You're asking him on a date that is the simple fact... as woman you don't have to buy shit for him, just pay for yourself. As a man yeah, freind or not you asked her out to a bar, so got to pay for something, unless you seriously don't want to get laid at some point.

But woman asks guy out, to bar he would gladly pay for his own drinks, then think in back of his head how he is going to work this into sex at some point in time. As woman you can string a lot of loser along this way and they will keep playing long, but at point every loser will accept the fact that you are playing them or seriously not sexually interested.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

You are never obligated to do anything you don't want to do. If you are just hanging out as friends, I would expect to buy my own drinks if I was invited.

This goes for anything, a movie, dancing, etc... just cause I got invited doesn't mean anyone else should pay for me.

I fully expect that if I accept I will be paying for myself, otherwise no one would really invite anyone (unless your well off) to anything. I can only imagine family get togethers, where no one wants to pay for the entire family so they never get together.

Especially the larger families.

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

I go out with my male work friends often and I always used to let them buy me drinks because they would insist and wouldn't let me buy them one.

I don't know if this is just a British thing but its a unspoken rule but if your out drinking everyone must take there turn to buy a round its only fair. I didn't realise this till my dad told me off for getting my male friends to buy all my drinks and not buying them one. So to answer your question you don't have to buy them a drink but it's the polite thing to do especially if they bought you one

HollyK21 · Answer

I don’t think so. If one friend didn’t ask the other to hang out, they never would, especially if it’s assumed that each time one asks the other to do something they’re automatically volunteering to fund it. Like if it’s Saturday and I were to tell a friend “hey wanna go watch a movie? My treat!”, then that’s one thing. But generally inviting someone out shouldn’t have to mean you’re paying for it.

razelove · Answer

No, either you each buy your own drinks or switch the rounds you're buying. It's situation specific, like I'd look at it less from the lens of meeting a girl at a place with alcohol, and more, what kind of place. Is it a rave (if they have those anymore), club, dive, pool hall, upscale wine type place, concert, strip club, what have you. Some are more conducive to different buying habits and ways of hanging out.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Obligation no.. pay for the first drink would be nice… (you don’t have to know what to order, let him order and then say you got it) or order yours and tell the bartender and whatever he’s having (shows your intent to pay)

AviatorTom · Answer

Etiquette Rule 107b... The inviter always pays for the invitee, unless specifically stated otherwise

Anonymous · Answer

No, you are not obligated to buy your guy friend a drink if you invite him to a bar. It's perfectly fine for each of you to get your own drinks, especially if you don't drink alcohol and are not familiar with the bar scene.

If your friend expects you to buy him a drink, you could politely explain that you are not comfortable doing so and that you would prefer for each of you to get your own drinks. It's important to communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly in any social situation, including when inviting someone to a bar.

Anonymous · Answer

Is it just you two? If it’s just you two it makes me feel like it has the potential to lead to more. I mean if you like a dude that much you’re willing to ask him to go to the bar just the two of you, that kind of makes me think that way. Now if you’re going w friends, completely different. As to being obligated no I don’t think you are obligated, but you could offer. But if he was raised to be a man chances are he’s going to refuse, probably even get you a drink. Or he may take your offer then get the next round. It all depends this could have a million outcomes on who should do what or not do what.

b-river · Answer

I think it's generally polite to get something for someone when you invite them out somewhere, but just talk to them. If not a drink, maybe a little food! If you two establish you just want to lay for yourselves than that's cool too. It's not the end of the world if you invite someone out and don't pay either, especially if it's not romantic, but it's just polite and nice

FifiJones · Answer

I'd think of it as 'what are we after'? Either way it would not give me specific ideas in and of itself (would not expect we'd be dating if I did get a drink. I would probably buy the 2nd round as a sort of 'we can buy each other drinks' thing, which, again, to me would not of itself mean 'we are dating now')

RealMarek · Answer

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. On the other hand, don’t let your lack of knowledge about alcoholic drinks stop you if you would like to buy him a drink. You can always say “What would you like to drink? This round is on me.” But again, you don’t have to do anything at all.

EmmaMary · Answer

It's certainly not compulsory, however it would be seen as common courtesy to do so.

Anonymous · Answer

No but  he definitely shouldn’t feel obligated to buy you a drink nor should you accept one if he does offer. This is common sense for most people but I have seriously had women ask me “to go get dinner” while (unannounced) expected me to pay for it in the past. It was insane.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. Friends going out is different dynamic than asking someone out on an actual potentially romantic date. If one of my female friends says, "Hey, let go to Outback for dinner." I would not assume that she is paying for my meal, not vice-versa.

spartan55 · Answer

I wouldn't say it was an obligation. Certainly a nice gesture though.

lightbulb27 · Answer

no, you owe him nothing but it's considerate.  it be really rude to invite them and tell him he is buying.  I would never invite a guy to a bar... but its your life.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

You may have to buy the first round, and then he would buy you the second round.

fantasticass · Answer

No, he should be paying for you if he is a gentleman. He should feel honored that you asked him. Why would you pay? If he expects you to pay, then he's not a gentleman.

mommymommy · Answer

You shouldn't go to a bar, if you're not going to drink. It's like going to the strip club, just to "drink". You know where you are, if you wanted to just "drink", you could have gone to the grocery store.

MsElizabeth96 · Answer

No you're not obligated to buy him a drink, not if it's just friends casually hanging out If you did want to buy him one out of politeness, just ask him what's he'd like

MysticDevice · Answer

Relationship or friends, Ye who invites a person to a bar is obligated (not required) to buy at least the first drink for the invitee. This is just proper etiquette.

Anonymous · Answer

It would think you probably should and you can ask him what he wants to drink like a normal person lol

Anonymous · Answer

nope. he's a friend. you can buy your own drink, and he can buy his own drink. no big deal. and i doubt he's thinking you will pay for him. that's nonsense. have fun!

Nikki1989 · Answer

The tradition is people take turns on buying the rounds.

LovingJo · Answer

I wouldn't say  obligated,  but usually when  you  do the inviting, it's implied. Plus, why would you not want to? 🤔😊

TheFlak38 · Answer

You buy him a drink. You invited him. Holy shit! Women today are impossible! Any man would have done the same shit he would have been universally attacked for being a selfish asshole.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Let's reverse the role would you like to pay for your food and drinks when invited by someone as you are being a part of the hoster

Justneedtokno · Answer

No unless you like them like that. You just said a guy friend not if I don’t have any interest in him like that.

Fireguy17 · Answer

while it would be a nice gesture, he might just step up and buy them.

Iron_Man · Answer

Let means you’re gonna have to pay for like seven drinks so be prepared to spend $200 on him lol

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Common courtesy, but I usually go anywhere with the thought to have enough to cover myself and the other person.

VikingWarLord · Answer

You better be buying everyone a round if you invited them all !

Friendlybro79 · Answer

No obligation but learn how to order a drink. Jk but not really lol

worldscolide · Answer

I'd go with the inviter pays for the invitee. Most men undstand this.. Most women do not

Mary4567 · Answer

It depends on the jurisdiction you live in.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

The most done thing is that everyone gets a round but you can each pay separately.

Unit1 · Answer

Unless you make it clear, that the bill is split before committing to the invitation.

peedy · Answer

Well it would be the polite thing to do considering you did invite him

Raaj4you · Answer

Yes, it will be nice if you offer a drink to him. Don't be selfish. Spending some money on anyone will not make you poor.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Dp you normally by your female friends a frank when you ask them out to the bar?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Lol no. Lol. Why would you think that? You're not obligated to do anything for anyone!

Anonymous · Answer

No but I would just because you were the one to ask him out for drinks.

helbigarthur · Answer

Obligated no but social convension would say you should.

SoulmateSeeker1994 · Answer

It would be nice, but, personally, won't be mad if it didn't happen.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Technically your not obligated, It's just a Courtesy.

dragoblack · Answer

No. You can offer if you want, but you dont have to

purplepoppy · Answer

It's a couple of pound just cough up.

Nachowedgie · Answer

If he invited you would you think he'd think he'd be expected to buy you one?

Anonymous · Answer

No you are not. He has money? Then no. He is broke then maybe one or two drink as a cherity

SweetTwistedSatanist · Answer

No, but it'd be cool if you did.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

No, you don't have to

BrookeS · Answer

I dont think you have to get his drink

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

It’s common courtesy

Wise4myage · Answer

No, but its not a bad idea.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

No, if anything it’s the other way around

brooke233 · Answer

No, you don't have to buy drinks for him.

Greenbins · Answer

No you are not

KrisKris81 · Answer

No. Nor vice-versa.

Anonymous · Answer

This night will be ended on a bed lol

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Nope.

If I invite a guy friend to a bar am I obligated to buy him a drink?

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