Should my boyfriend pay for my friend's drink if we all go out together?

Question

I wanted my boyfriend to meet my friend and we all went to a show together. My boyfriend got really cheap tickets. The show had a drink minimum per guest. My friend offered my boyfriend money to cover her drinks and he took it.

I am feeling embarassed like he is a stingy guy or not generous for taking the money from her. My friend is not upset because she knows she offered the money but she does think it is a little stingy.

I am questioning his character now.

bbch25 · Accepted Answer

Considering it was YOUR plan/idea, why didn't you buy the tickets and cover the friends drink if it was your friend you wanted your boyfriend to meet... Common denomination is you.

Your boyfriend didn't have to buy anyone anything, and the only person he should (MAYBE) have paid for, is you. If he's loaded and can splurge, maybe he could've shouted the friend but even if he's a billionaire, you stay a billionaire by being smart and it's entirely his choice to NOT spend it.

No he isn't stingy or not generous. It was her drinks.

How he treats people, how he treats the people serving those drinks, and your friends as a PERSON is what you should judge.

I think he could do better.

xXiTacoXx · Accepted Answer

He's your boyfriend, not hers. He should only be paying for the two of you since, he wanted to treat YOU and take YOU out. You wanting him to pay for her just because you asked her to come along to meet him is stupid. If she thinks he's stingy this means she's an idiot, and so are you for going along with it. It's not his job to pay for your friends every time you go out, but it is your friends job to pay for her own damn self. Would you try making him pay for any of your guy friends just because you want them to meet him? If not, then you shouldn't try making him pay for your girl friends either just because she's also a girl.

Wonderer89 · Accepted Answer

It's not your boyfriends responsibility to pay for your friends night out, it's not even his responsibility to pay for yours. He bought the tickets and based on your post I'm assuming he paid for your drinks too.
The fact you're questioning his character over this is pretty sad to be honest

NyomiMcClinton · Accepted Answer

It was actually nice that she offered to pay for her own drinks. But I think that he could of paid for her drinks, that would of been a gentleman and not only that the right to do since you all are friends. I do think what he did was cheap and stingy.

AynonOMouse · Accepted Answer

I am questioning your character. You are in the wrong here. There is absolutely NO reason why he should pay for one of your friends. What, should she feel entitled to be paid for just because she is female?
How sexist are you really?
If I was him and you even suggested that you were upset about it, I would break up with you right then.
And then your boyfriend did buy tickets, and all you do is complain that it wasn't good enough?
WTH?
He needs a better girlfriend that is less selfish and more caring.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Do you know enough about his financial situation to know whether he has the money to pay for her ticket and drinks?

Since you wanted your boyfriend to meet your friend, why didn't YOU pay for the tickets and drinks?

lualesca · Answer

She is YOUR friend, not HIS, if anything YOU should be the one paying for her drinks.

You call him stingy because he accepted her money, i hope you talk to him and say it to his face that he is stingy for accepting your friend's money, and let's see where that takes you.

Jesus, women need to get their heads straight.

Truthatanycost · Answer

The only persons character that should be questioned is yours. I can't believe there are people out their that think this way.

This is why I simply do not give any of you the time of day.

DISREGARD females, ACQUIRE gainz. Pay for your own damn drinks!

cavmanier · Answer

Think about what you're saying.

him paying for all your tickets + her offering him money for her drinks and him accepting + him paying for his and your drinks = he's stingy

him paying for all your tickets + him paying for everyones' drinks =/= her being stingy

Why is he stingy and not her or you?

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Ffs how about you and your friend be the adults you are and accept that he took what was offered?
Like, why would would the money be offered if it was expected for it to not be taken anyway? If she offered her money and he accepted then she has no right to complain. If her paying was such an 'issue' then she should have said it outright that he should pay for her.
"Oh but she would have come off as a self entitled birch if she were to do that..."

Excuse me but what are you now, when you 'question' a man's character for letting a girl spend money?

ShortCircuit · Answer

A guy should not be expected to pay for you, let alone your friend. Even if he did decide he wanted to treat you, on his own accord, out of the kindness of his heart, you should in no way expect him to pay for your friend - *especially* if you were the one who invited her.

It would be rude of him to pay for you in front of your friend, but not her. So yes, it should come down to either one of you paying for everyone, or everyone paying for themselves. However, if anyone does it, should be you, since you are the middleperson, *especially* if you were the one who organized the whole thing.

If it were me, and I was in a good mood, I would have given you some money to spend before leaving, so that your friend thought everyone was paying for themselves. That way, you wouldn't have to pay for everyone.

But since your boyfriend didn't think ahead, it would've been best for you to cover everyone's bills.

NexAngelus · Answer

my girlfriend did something like this once... and SHE paid for the friends drinks... and I WAS UPSET. the friend should of paid for her own drinks. the friend is not putting out or anything, they are not connected to us in any way besides "friends". since when do friends start paying for each others shit? now birthdays or something friends may but its up to them. u can NEVER said a friend is being cheap for NOT paying for u because its ur friend. and like i pointed out, since this was "ur event" with ur friend-s, u should of probably been the one paying. if he was introducing his friends to u, then he could of been incharge of what ever his friends were up to.

u let him be incharge, then talked about it behind his back... what was the point of u not doing it urself? id pro slap u for causing drama where there is none.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Is he fucking her? Because if not then he has no obligation to pay for her, in fact he has no obligation to pay for you either. Its stingy because he didn't pay for every one even some one he isn't in a relationship with but not stingy to want him to pay for you and your friend? He is the one who paid you didn't the only one who is cheap here is you and your friend. I think your character should be questioned not his.

kaylaS91 · Answer

... your boyfriend took your friend's offer to pay for her drinks. Your friend now thinks he's stingy, even though she was the one who offered to pay, and that's enough for you to 'question his character'?
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TiffyPuff · Answer

If she didn't want to pay, she shouldn't have offered. And frankly, he has no responsibility to pay for her... or YOU, for that matter... but definitely not for her.

Seriously, your entitlement and sexism should have him questioning YOUR character.

missashleyjames · Answer

You invited him to meet your friend. I mean I guess I don't know much about your relationship or his financial status but seeing as how you wanted him to meet your friend and he bought the tickets I wouldn't have expected my boyfriend to pay for my friend. If anything I would've paid for her while he paid for the two of us. That's just what makes the most sense to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Mmmm you invited your friend, its your friend, your boyfriend got all of the tickets and paid for his and your drinks, your friend got a free show but had to buy her own drinks...
And this makes him stingy?
Sounds like you dont have your heads on straight ^^

DodgersGM · Answer

Your boyfriend should've bought every single person at the show drinks. Because, ya know, we don't want him looking stingy...

TadCurious · Answer

Your friend offered to pay for her drink and now she thinks your boyfriend is stingy? In what world does that make any sense? Why did she offer to pay for her drink if she wasn't serious about actually paying? Evidently it was just for show, and some kind of "test" for your boyfriend. Not cool.

marths · Answer

No! He paid the ticket for you guys - your friend offered her money - these days don't expect everything from a man. He's your guy - yeah he should buy you a drink and being the first time meeting your friend he should've bought her one too but don't take that personal. Have you considered other possibilities other than him being "stingy" like maybe financial problems or not enough money etc. He came to meet your friend not anything else! He's impressed you enough to want to introduce him to your friend. Don't make it a big deal than it is

lostgirl_searching · Answer

Why are you questioning his character for?
My answer to your question is no. It's enough already he paid for you and your friend tickets and who cares if it was cheap, seriously. So I don't think it was wrong for him to take the money. Also who cares what your friend thinks.

Maik567 · Answer

So he bought tickets for all of you but you couldn't even offer the drinks? It's hilarious how you question his character when you didn't offer to do a damn thing for your boyfriend or your friend.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

They are grown adults, they can pay for themselves. It's not his responsibility to foot the bill for your friends on a night out and I think it's sad that you expect him to.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

I wouldn't expect or want my boyfriend to be paying for my friend's anything. He's not responsible for her and I wouldn't want her thinking he's just gonna do shit for her.

RinRinSaysLol · Answer

Why do you expect the guy to pay for everything? So what if the movie was cheap? The important thing is that he was nice enough to pay for you.

I think he was being considerate because he's girlfriend is right there (you). If he was rushing to pay for your beat friend's part too, wouldn't that be warning signs?

GeekyPanda · Answer

Personally i don't think it's necessarilly the guys job to pay for anyone elses expenses other than his own. Girlfriend or not, men have to earn their living too. I believe one should pay for themselves and not expect someone else to do so for them. The odd treat here and there doesn't hurt but I don't think it's really his job, and choosing to pay for himself alone shouldn't change how you see him. If anything, maybe just split the bill next time :)

Should my boyfriend pay for my friend's drink if we all go out together?

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