Is the L word such a big deal to guys

[Anonymous]

I was in a 3 year relationship after high school. I was young and thought I really loved the guy. We were young and just said I love you without really knowing what meant. The relationship ran it's course then we mutually broke up. I've never told anyone else "I love you" because I haven't felt it. I've been single for 2 years now and a finally met a guy that I'm starting to feel strong feelings for that I've never felt before. I'm kind of at a loss for handling this because I've been with someone then single for so long. We've been dating 4 months and I don't know whether I shld tell him how I feel or wait for him to come to me. I feel like he feels the same way I'm just not sure if it wld be a mistake if I told him I love him. I just don't want to screw it up if that would be something to screw things up.

[Darkfairie17]

I'm kinda at that point with my boyfriend. I love him, but I am afraid to say I love you to him because I don't know how he will react to it. Some people run for the hills when the word love comes into play. Other people are happy. I just think it's funny how three words can have such an effect on someone. I said it all the time to my bf's before. But I did care for them. I don't just throw it around all the time. I guess my fear too is that I will love him and then he will leave like the rest of them. But I guess you have to just hope for the best.

As for why it is such a big deal to some guys, well, it's probably a big deal because for some girls, saying that means that they see a future with the guy. The guy might not see you as the future mrs. right. So they might get kind of scared.

The best thing you can do is talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you care deeply for him. Also just do little things that show you love him. You don't always have to say it to let it be known :)

[toulouse]

Why do you have to say it at all, if you are worried drop it. just act like you love him- if you do. Screw he words.. it will come out when you mean it.

[Anonymous]

It's a big deal for me, but I've known guys who throw it around too freely. If a girl was getting to that point with me, I'd like her to ask me what the word meant to me. I could then tell her what I would mean and imply if I said it. For some, though, the conversation in and of itself might tip off the message.

Another thing to ask is how many women he has said that to before. From knowing how many people he has used that with before, you can get an idea of how serious it is to him.

[brkadv]

It's tough cause words have different associations to different people. Some guys might feel really happy is you said you loved them and others might feel nothing but pressure about whether to say it back and how much you might now expect from them. So you really have to get to know the person and how they are emotionally. If you want to be safer, just explain your actual feelings instead of trying to sum it up in a word. Say it in a way that can't be misunderstood.

[Asker]

I'm scared he might be faking it all since he avoids it. I'll say I love something about him and he doesn't really reciprocate. But he does things that I wld say show me instead of tellin me.

[brkadv]

There are indeed several different ways that people give and receive love. The title of this book should tell you how much you might enjoy reading it based on what you just said.

link

[Shaun]

It's a big deal because it means something. That said, I've never been afraid to say it when I was ready. In some relationships I said it first, in others I said it second. In all relationships it was said right back to the person who said it.

[dudeman]

i like pledge better thanks for that

[nickijordan2009]

no, its not, but the guys sre insecure more than a girls...

[dudeman]

love is not a feeling its an action/decision

[dudeman]

i think that's why its harder for guys to say it

[Shaun]

It's a pledge. But I also think a lot of women see it that way too.

[Asker]

Well I feel that he loves me. He shows it and does things that make me feel loved but hasn't actually said it. That's what makes me feel like he may be waiting to actually say it for some reason.