Do you have a similar personality to your dad (if you are a man) and to your mom (if you are a girl)?

Question

My dad is a very honest and a kind person. He is very strong and scary, but deep down he is the kindest, fairest and the most loyal person I’ve met.

My mom, has always been a heartbreaker though. She’s the type of woman, you would find hard not to fall in love with, because it has always seemed like she could put a spell on men. She had been muse of a few singers and couple if poets in my country, her face has been painted by some painters and she has just always been a symbol of an irresistible femininity.

I and my mom had a tough dynamic in childhood and I made it my goal not to be like her, my dad was my role model.

But now I realize people like my dad are more often being hurt in life because they always see the best in people and are very kind.

People like my mom though are the total opposite. I feel like maybe personality wise I have always been like my mom but I oppressed that in myself, because of the bad dynamics we shared, now though I like to think that I share more with my mom than I like to admit.

My mom tells me I am more like my dad and my brother is more like her, but I have been thinking it would be easier have I had a personality similar to hers, she’s a playette and she has never been heartbroken in her life, all the men in her romantic life loved her more than she did love them. I wish I was like her. I was like her at some point but when fell in love I lost my mind and became too selfless.

Updates

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My dad was very handsome when he was young, he engaged to another cute girl when he met my mom and my mom kind of stole him from her.

My guilty thought is that I wish I was like her.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

In my life, both my parents were examples of what I didn’t want to become like. They had an unloving marriage, fought all the time in front of my sister and I, nearly got divorced, but stayed together because they were right-winged conservatives that wanted to maintain good appearances in front of their religious peers.

My father’s supposed dream was to become a missionary. But, he never truly became one. He attempted seminary. It was difficult, and he gave up, because he said it was hard. Also, he went to college for a bit prior, but he also dropped out of that.

My mother dropped out of high school. Again, because it was “hard”.

My dad went to his office job, came home to watch TV, went to sleep, and repeated that for years. Whenever my mom asked my dad if he could help her with things, he’d yell at her telling her that he was trying to relax.

During dinner time, the only time we’d be sitting together as a family, my mom was always on the phone, having conversations with other people while she was with us. My father yelled at her every time she got off the phone. My mother stonewalled, and ignored him. My sister and I just watched, trying not to be pulled in tween their screaming matches.

They had very poor impulse control, not exercising patience with each other or with their children—probably because of their aversion to anything hard. It takes effort to control one’s anger. They would explode on each other for the smallest thing. They’d exploded on the kids as well whenever they perceived opposition, even if it wasn’t meant to be opposition. They were emotionally volatile and easily triggered.

Their parenting style was scolding my sister and I for not being more like the kids of other people. “Why can’t you be more like ____.” I’ve been called stupid and useless for not becoming what they wanted. They wanted me to become a doctor or a pastor (ironically). Why? Probably to make themselves look good, as they always wanted to look good in front of their peers, no matter how dysfunctional things were in private.

When I was about 8, I told my father that I wanted to become an artist. He said that I couldn’t do it and that I would fail, because it would be hard. He said I should become a doctor instead (which is ironic because they would be harder).

I felt invisible to my parents growing up. Out of all my cousins, my nuclear family is the most broken and dysfunctional. The other aunties and uncles don’t like my parents because of the way they parent. One of my uncles was upset at my mother’s lack of empathy and told her to, “Be human!”

When I was 19, my parents left the country to go back to China, leaving me to figure out life on my own. Well, it would have been better if they truly left me alone—but instead they wanted to dump a bunch of responsibilities on me like running errands for them, taking care of their taxes, filing documents for them, and basically being a clerk and property manager, while I was a full time student, and working a job to support myself.

Whenever something wasn’t done fast enough, I was scolded. This overworked me, I burnt out, I fell into an existential crisis, got into substance abuse, flunked out of school, and fell into a 2 year depression. (Which my father refuses to acknowledge happened to this day.)

It was after I had a bad car accident, where my car got totaled from another car that ran a red light, that my life flashed before my eyes. My mother scolded me for not completing some errands she wanted me to complete, instead of worrying about my well-being. It was in that moment that I realized something: My parents aren’t actually looking after me. They don’t actually care. I need to stop trusting them. I need to trust myself and become my own hero.

Up until that point, I kept making excuses for my parents, telling myself that they do care, but I just don’t see it. But it wasn’t until I accepted that they don’t care, that my life started to get better.

After overcoming my depression (my choices where to either fight to get through it, or let it totally consume me and end my life), I petitioned to get back into school, my petition was granted, I earned my bachelor’s degree in psychology, and worked on my career in business.

Fast forward to now, and I’m traveling the world as a digital nomad, with a a very healthy and loving relationship with my SO, and I’m pursuing all my goals and achieving them one at a time. Manifesting my dream of turning my art (creativity) into something I can making a great living on and make my impact on the world by spreading a message of love.

I believe that the world needs love, like I needed love. More people need to see the beauty of it, believe in it, and bring it into existence. I believe love can heal the world.

For me, the apple fell quite far from the tree (as I’m nothing like my parents or my sister).

But, my great great grandfather was a successful businessman. And, I like to believe that I’m more like him. Perhaps if he were alive, I’d make him proud.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Most children do have very similar traits from their parent’s whether they want to admit it or not , because it is learned behavior , because we pick up on how our parents raised us and how they treated us and what we witnessed and experienced with our parents , We tend to pick up their traits and habits and similarities without really realizing it , cuz it feels normal to us and what we are use to. If we notice something bad that our parent or parents have done or did , we tend to think opposite and think I won’t be that way with my partner or my kids , but the truth is more than likely you will Sadly parents can impact us more than we actually think they do without realizing it , why most people get upset when someone says you are just like your Mom or you are just like your Dad and they say No I am not , I am nothing like them and they get bent out of shape about it cuz In their minds they feel like they aren’t like their parents , when really they are , especially if their parents were a big part of their life , I dated a girl that was raised by a single mom , her father left them when she was young , After meeting her Mom I became a little skeptical about being in a relationship with her daughter because I witnessed how selfish her mom was and how she played men and All I thought was great, this girl is going to eventually play me like her Mom plays men and sure enough she started playing me like her Mom was playing guys Basically raised to be a whore and that things can only go her way , So when I start dating a girl before I get serious with her I like to meet her parents lol

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

I think I am a lot like my dad, quiet, unfaithful, has social anxiety, but deep down we just want to be loved lol My mom is nice but can be a controlling bitch, and very hard to be around for weeks, she tends to kiss my ass tho because I have no problem abandoning her and she knows it.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

I have traits from both. I'm probably the most like my mom in looks and personality. I get my free spirit and wild child nature from her. I get my sense of humor from my dad and my temper and gift of gab.

molonski2 · Answer

I think that the opposing sex is normally the traits that are taken on ,

Father to daughter , Mother to son , I've certainly seen this over the years , and if you look at nearly all really successful men , virtually all have had this incredibly supportive mother , not so much the father , and visa versa.

There is lots of other detail in your question , but it still really supports what I believe to be a general " rule of thumb " .

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yeah, we both love music, we're both drummers, we both love playing cards and shooting pool, we both like magic and we both have a great sense of humour. We also look very much alike and don't even look close to our real ages.

PointTaken · Answer

I am very much like my dad down to the looks. Main difference is he had black hair and I have brown.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I'm a little bit of both. I look more like my mom than my dad, but I have the level-headedness of my dad.

NathanDavis · Answer

it's a good mix for both, balanced... sometimes a bad mix, lmao

Anonymous · Answer

It's a mixture of both. My dad is very logical and expresses little emotion, my mother is very emotionally driven and compassionate. While I heavily take after them both, I take after my mother a little more.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have no idea. I never really knew them.

Anonymous · Answer

My personality is a mix of my moms and dads personalities.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Everyone says I'm a spitting image of my dad. Not only by looks but personality

Guardian45 · Answer

Yes and No. I am stubborn like my Dad, but more openminded like my Mom!

Anonymous · Answer

Aww that's cute by the way how many dicks your mom sucked in her life?

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. Not even close.

Anonymous · Answer

Thankfully no, because my father is a drunk.

EaterPeter · Answer

Some what. I see traits sometimes.

YaseminSirketikli · Answer

i do

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