What do you all think of possessive guys?

Question

would u like your man to be possessive of you or NOT

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Well there is a thin line between possessive and territorial, Most guys are territorial over a girl he gives his heart to but a guy that is possessive over a girl , can be creepy, if he is to possessive over her , meaning he doesn’t give her any time to herself and is calling her and asking her where she is every second of the day , and questioning her like crazy , and not trusting her at all, then that guy has some serious issues to work on , But sadly most girls’ don’t understand guy’s when it comes to him being territorial over her , she will automatically assume he is insecure and doesn’t trust her and sadly that isn’t the case , Most guys will get upset with his girl if she isn’t following the same boundaries that she expects him to follow , Most girls’ just assume things are ok for her to do but not ok for her partner , and that’s where double standards come into play , For a relationship to survive and for love to grow both partners have to make each other their top priority , wear each others shoes before making decisions , understand you can’t always be right and your partner is always wrong , Remove your inner selfishness for each other , Your friends should never be a priority over your partner , when you start prioritizing your friends over your partner , don’t be surprised when they start prioritizing their friends over you , Most men want a girl that values him and respects him , that loves him and looks up to him , boosts his ego and wants to see him smile , not bring Misery into his life , When a girl can’t give back what she expects her man to give to her , she is going to be on her way out the door , We can’t force someone to love us , we can only treat someone the same way we want to be loved in return , When a relationship becomes one sided , be prepared for that relationship to come to an end because the one sided partner is only thinking of themself and what is best for them. They aren’t putting themselves in their partner’s shoes before making decisions , they are the type that will say I will do what I want , and when I want , you don’t own me , when a partner says that to you , tell them the same thing and go do your thing , kick them to the curb where they belong , Selfish people will never experience true love , let the other person have them they just did you a favor

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Define possessive?

I am sure this opinion will differ with every girl.

Do you expect to hang out alone with men you used to date?

Do you want to stay close friends with old boyfriends?

Go out drinking and clubbing with just the girls?

Do you want to go on bachelorette parties with friends and have strippers and go to Vegas for the weekend of clubbing and drinking?

Do you want to do an Onlyfans page and pose nude online?

Do you want to post sexy pics on Instagram and have lots of men DM'ing you?

Where is your line? When does a normal guy/girl relationship boundary go over into possessive? How much freedom with the opposite sex do you require for it to be normal and healthy vs. possessive?

I'm sure everyone's views will differ.

Here is my advice to any men that may have "possessive" inclinations. Don't be possessive in the way of that you are choosing to stay with a woman who pushes your boundaries and is constantly doing things you abhor. Stay your boundaries. If she barely goes over them every now and again, give a reminder BUT if your boundaries and her lifestyle clash to where you are always unhappy and always trying to police something she is doing then break up, you two are not compatible.

My view of modern, feminist women and their morals and character could not be any lower BUT I will say any man who is always fighting with his girl over who she is going out with and what she is wearing and what clubbing she wants to do is a MORON and deserved to be roasted if he just keeps choosing to date a woman whose values and boundaries do not align with his and he is always trying to control what she does. If she crosses your boundaries that much then move on. Quit trying to police her and making both of you miserable.

I think a lot of what feminist, modern, sexually liberated women think should be normal activity while in a monogamous relationship is misguided these days but you men are idiots if you willingly choose to stay with someone with boundaries and values that clash with yours so greatly.

Justmeagain1 · Accepted Answer

Possession means to own an item or object. I am not an object. I am a human with feelings, wants, needs, hopes and aspirations. A guy can be protective of me and our relationship. But not possessive. Possessiveness comes from fear their partner will leave from a deep seated part of their past. This creates some crappy behaviours in people. Their must be mutual respect, trust and reliability between two people. As a women I want to feel protected and cared for eg: my ideal partner would go toe to toe with someone for me if I was in danger or in a situation that I could not get out that wasn’t my fault or I was disrespected. But I don’t want a hot head looking for a fight because I was admired from a distance or due to insecurities.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

Not my type. Anything in extreme is toxic. I like protective guys rather than possessive ones. So, if a guy who's normally protective of you sometimes let's a stranger know to stay away from me because I'm taken then that sort of little bit of possessiveness at times is funny and endearing... But if he's possessive of me all the time, wants to know where I am , who I'm talking to, what I'm talking to, who I'm with and what I'm upto every minute, hell that would suffocate me. I want him to trust me. Protect me if I need help, not get suspicious of me and make my friends go away.

Summeroflove · Answer

I have no opinion. If two people agree on a relationship then that’s between them. But I do have a problem if someone’s being abusive

Anonymous · Answer

Women mistake controlling possessiveness with “love” when it’s actually very deep insecurity.

People want to feel respected. For example if my girlfriend/wife dressed provocatively in a public setting just because she likes the attention she gets from other men then we have a problem. That’s a big sign of disrespect to me. I do have a right to speak up my concerns about that. But speaking up isn’t the same as “forcing” her to dress one way or another. But she wants to do that despite my objections then I have a right to leave her. Simple.

But anyway some women secretly like being controlled even violently from their bfs/husbands. That’s a two way problem.

Yes the man absolutely shouldn’t do that but she also has self destructive attraction to that. Of course she shouldn’t be abused but it’s not the “fault of men” or patriarchy or some other crap that some women have that stupid self sabotaging attraction to that. The woman has to take accountability and leave when red flags come up before it gets worse.

FreyaRed · Answer

Every possessive man I've seen in the wild was an impulsive driven, mentally limited being. I feel pity for those individuals because they are handicapped. Nevertheless as potential partners they aren't a serious choice because they are boring after five minutes talk and bragging with physical dominance is ridiculous. Maybe this worked 5000 years back when huge bears walked in forest surrounding the camp fire and there were only sharp sticks for self-defense, but I think being dumb wasn't an advantage in these prehistoric times either.

WonderBell99 · Answer

I like it when a guy is protective, but I HATE controlling, possessive guys. It shows that he’s insecure and not sure about me or this relationship. Why would I date someone who does not trust me? Protectiveness is often mistaken for possessiveness.

Lliam · Answer

Protective, absolutely. Possessive, not so much. I mean, she's with me of her own accord. I can't hold onto her by spying on her or keeping her on a leash. If I have to do that, she's not worth keeping.

I don't want her to treat me like she's my boss. Therefore, I can't imagine her wanting to be treated as if I'm her boss.

I believe in mutual trust, respect and admiration.

I don't even care if other guys look at her. It actually makes me proud. As long as she isn't flirting or trying to entice other guys.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

They’re fucked. My old house we had a crazy jealous guy like that. If his wife was talking to me he’d stare at her then snarl “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” She’d go running.

One night I was putting out garbage and saw her car approaching & stop down the street. Her sister got out and began walking. I joked “what she can’t drive you all the way?”

Her sister replied the husband would get angry and jealous if he knew they went out together.

After that I would purposely antagonize him by talking to her as much as possible. I began to notice she’d only talk if he wasn’t around and acted like a scared rabbit constantly looking around.

I told her it wasn’t my business but thats no way to live. Stand up for yourself and your daughter. She burst out in tears I said if you want help say the word. We ended up moving so not sure whats become of them.

Spade_01 · Answer

A self respecting man IS meant to have a protective jealousy for his woman. That's a sign of manhood. Otherwise he's a 'dayooth' (Arabic). A Dayooth won't smell jannah.

Chill_Thoughts · Answer

There's a balance between being possessive and protective and just being toxic and controlling.
Done right, girls usually appreciate/like it, tho it also depends on the girl. Some might not like it as much and some drop their panties after you do something of that context 😂

Rizwan_khan · Answer

I'm not a possesive kind of guy but if my girlfriend or wife is getting approached some other guys then i will be strict on her because i have jealousy because i will love her.

JonesT10Apr · Answer

being possessive okay... but trying to change not to hurt me... Ask about daily what I did. so I will correct else... I will change myself nor I reply my reason...

wanna be communicative... have to sleep peach... that's what I want from possessive partners. unless it's not healthy being with them for a long time

magpi_ · Answer

I'm jealous and I think jealousy is healthy. It's part of caring about the person you're with and also protectiveness. When it's about demanding to control the other person's life I find it toxic, BUT by what I've seen in other couples, men who are aggressively controlling usually keep the girl for a very long time. Granted, they generally choose someone who's frail and easy to control specifically for that purpose.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

A little is fine. And healthy go over that and it's unhealthy can be dangerous

ItsMykolaJenkins · Answer

Its a nightmare

I started to take calming pills

Because i was so nervous and anxious everyday

Just seeing his number would make me cry

Paranoid and posessive

Its horrible

He once wanted to break up because i was at the shower and didn't pick up the phone at time

4ngelic · Answer

like when guys get a bit jealous and possessive time to time but if that's how they are in gen its not great..

Anonymous · Answer

They r so attractive, they make u feel loved. But possessiveness is cute to an extent not too much controlling that it creates suffocation.

Josef_89 · Answer

Selam aleykum  People take care of what they value.

Bethany22 · Answer

Yes, I'd be flattered!

MementoMori777 · Answer

Sounds like balancing on a thin rope but it depends

hiyamotherfers · Answer

Yeah a little. It means I'm worth something to him

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I've been friends with possessive guys. I can tell you that just being proximately associated with those guys was unpleasant.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

If women like possessive guys, then I guess I am SOL.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Protective is good, possessive and controlling is an instant dealbreaker.

Sparkie460 · Answer

It's ok to be possessive but to an extent. Overly possessive is a bad thing. Guys have to give the woman some space

RavVid · Answer

Girls can be just as possessive and mate guarding as guys. At least you know they want you :)

gangster123 · Answer

How about u? Would u want your husband or boyfriend to be possessive about yu?

Anonymous · Answer

i don't know any sane woman that would want a possessive guy... unless they're extremely insecure women.

Blackcupcake · Answer

generally no, but I don’t want him to be careless either. a balance.

coachTanthony · Answer

Women love it.

Jazzy54 · Answer

HELL no. There’s nothing sexy about that at all. I’m not his property. Boy bye. 👋🏽✌🏾

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Fuck them! You don't own your girl. I can talk and flirt with your girl as much as I desire

digitalguy01 · Answer

Caring is good, guiding is good but possesive is negative in a relationship of any kind

Anonymous · Answer

Makes me feel wanted and protected

PointTaken · Answer

To a limit. Can't be too possessive

Anonymous · Answer

I thought i liked it but after everything, no thank you.

Greenbins · Answer

Just like a possessive girl... they are 1 argument away from a murderer

Wild_princess · Answer

Upto a healthy extent

Kaneki05 · Answer

I would like her to be so!

melanieeeB · Answer

Weak and Insecure as hell

NathanDavis · Answer

walking nightmares...

swettannie · Answer

Absolutely!

jshm2 · Answer

you mean r/niceguys

Agape93 · Answer

No. I'm his partner, not his property.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

It’s an emulation of insecurity

AimeeKyle · Answer

They lack personal confidence.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

I like it

Anonymous · Answer

They are typically toxic.

LavLavLuv · Answer

Ugh naw

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

What do you all think of possessive guys?

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Are guys naturally possessive?

What do you all think of possessive guys?

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Are guys naturally possessive?

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