How do you fix things with a good guy that you pushed away?

[Anonymous]

I started talking to this guy a little over a year ago. We have mutual friends that told us about each other, and we both wanted to meet. We clicked instantly, and we talked like we'd known each other for years. It was so easy. Then one day we got into the more difficult conversations. He was just out of a relationship, and my last relationship was abusive. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted, but that he thought friends was a good start. I panicked and tried controlling the situation out of fear. I thought I was being rejected. We stopped talking for about a year. I re-added him on social media and he accepted. I was completely honest with him and apologized. He said he appreciated it and understands. We've talked a bit the last two days, and he even asked how I am. It was on my heart to reach back out, because I believe there's a connection there that I hurt. I miss talking to him, and how happy it was. I've never felt this way before. He's a really good guy and I know that's what scared me. We talked every day, all day. Is there any way/hope to slowly rebuild that? I think it's good we're talking a bit now. I think it's really respectable that he wanted to build a friendship, and I told him that. Why do I feel this way and miss him like this? It's not lust or infatuation, I know those feelings too. It's different. Everyone around me noticed and commented that when I was talking with him I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. Any feedback is appreciated.

[Kaneki05]

If a girl does that she's a keeper. You did hurt the connection but at the same time you took the time and effort to try reach back out. Many wouldn't. You've already started to fix it by been the first to do that. Now it just takes time really.
But it will take a while before he trusts you again, no doubt in the back of his mind he's thinking you will just leave again etc. Trust issues are well impossible so I don't know how to best advice on that but just keep working at it.
It will only go wrong when ya don't.

[Asker]

Thank you, I really appreciate this. I've asked if he feels we could rebuild our friendship earlier this evening and he hasn't answered yet. I told him I understand it would require work and that I'm willing to do that. I also said I understand if it's too late, and that I'd never want to be texting if he'd rather we didn't. No answer yet. It just makes me sad because it didn't use to be like this, and I could've prevented it. I truly felt a special connection, and I don't know how to make it better. All I know is I miss it, and I hope from the bottom of my heart it's not too late.

[Kaneki05]

If it don't, the positive side is one can learn from this. But hopefully it will, and he'll probably regret not letting so when he finds out others aren't that willing to make the effort and amend a relationship that once was.
Personally I am one to hold a grudge so I also understand if he didn't due to that, but that's for himself to figure out that some grudges will make you miss good will from those truly trying to give it.
Just like anger it blinds us to a right choice.

[Asker]

That's very true. As of now, he still hasn't responded. It hurts, and confuses me a bit as to why he'd answer a few texts and then stop. Like I said, I'd never want to engage in a conversation if someone wasn't wanting to talk. I just thought it seemed like we were slowly building a conversation. I only wish him the best, and I know anyone whose life he's a part of is extremely lucky. He's a rare guy, and I only wish I hadn't been so blind.

[Kaneki05]

Maybes that's the point or he just changed his mind. Maybe moved on I don't know. If no response comes just have to let it go at least you can say ya tried.

[Asker]

We haven't talked in weeks. Not sure if it'd be okay to reach back out, or if I should just walk away.

[teamvic]

I mean it doesn't sound too damaged at all, so I think there's a good chance at fixing it. You've been vocal and expressed yourself which is good and you should continue to do it with him. And afterall what's the worst case scenario here? It doesn't work out and you don't talk to him anymore? You were already doing that. Just keep talking to him, maybe try to hang out with him more and just do what y'all do and it should be fixable

[Asker]

Thank you, I appreciate this. I asked if he feels we could rebuild our friendship earlier this evening and he hasn't answered yet. I told him I understand it would require work and that I'm willing to do that. I also said I understand if it's too late, and that I'd never want to be texting if he'd rather we didn't. No answer yet. It just makes me sad because it didn't use to be like this, and I could've prevented it. We used to talk all day, every day when we first started getting to know each other. I truly felt a special connection, and I don't know how to make it better. All I know is I miss it, and I hope from the bottom of my heart it's not too late.

[dudeinohio]

You are on your way to fixing things. Just don't stop.

[Asker]

I'm scared I might not be on my way to fixing things. He still hasn't replied to my last message. I asked him if he feels it's possible to rebuild our friendship, that I understand it's going to take work and I'm prepared to do that, and that I also understand it may be too late. I told him I don't want to be continuing the conversation if he'd rather we didn't. I mean all of these things. It seemed promising at first like we may slowly talk, but now I'm not sure. I wish he'd at least just tell me if he didn't want to talk.

[dudeinohio]

Oh... he hasn't replied still? I'd send another message.

[Asker]

I don't want to do that. I replied to his message and received no answer. Then last night was when I asked if it's possible to rebuild. I don't want three messages in a row. He reads them, he's just quit talking. I don't get it, he seemed like he wanted to talk at first.

[dudeinohio]

All right. Well, just see what happens then. Keep your options open, though.