Why does my boyfriend think I would cheat on him/sleep with his roommate?

[Anonymous]

My longterm boyfriend finally told me tonight why he doesn’t like me being in his house alone with his roommate:

He thinks that I would sleep with him.

This idea is absolutely preposterous. I have never cheated on him, nor do I plan on it.

How can I reassure him that this would absolutely never happen? Even if I were attracted to him (WHICH I AM NOT AT ALL), the fact that it would be so snakey to do goes against all of my morals. I love my boyfriend and am not sure why he is insecure about this.

I will obviously take necessary steps to ensure that he has no reason to believe this would happen by not speaking to his roommate or whatever, but I think this may have been causing issues in our relationship ever since he moved in.

His best-friend’s-ex-girlfriend did this years ago and I guess that may be where this is coming from? I’m not sure. HELP!!!

[inhua]

we can all say we'll never do X, Y and Z until it happens

I'm sure the people who cheated for the first time ever didn't think they'll ever cheat

we're only human and we never know what can happen in the future. you wouldn't want your boyfriend being drunk and going to the strip club with his mates would you? we can rely on "trust" all we want but the most trustworthy thing one can do is to not put themselves in such a situation to begin with

even then, this isn't about you. it's about the roommate. if he's at least as hot or hotter than your boyfriend, he has to be absolutely foolish to let him be alone with you. dudes tend to think alike and if your boyfriend finds you attractive, chances are the roommate also finds you attractive and you best believe he's gonna try and pull a move when you least expect

if this were his best friend or brother, then yes there's a bro-code all dudes must abide by but being roommates don't mean shit. drugs, alcohol, loneliness, seduction won't matter at the end of the day. cheating isn't about morals or values otherwise religious people would never cheat. it's about options and opportunity hence biological

[Asker]

Hmm I guess I see where you’re coming from. However, his roommate is unattractive. My boyfriend is HOT. I trust him completely, and it’s an added bonus that he thinks that strip clubs are nasty/doesn’t go clubbing. He’s more of an active guy— sand volleyball, rock climbing, video games, drumming. And I’m right there with him. He just doesn’t have trust in anyone, his family kinda screwed him up in that sense.

[TheMadLad]

To be realistic here, It’s not just about cheating it’s about it being abnormal to be alone with a guy.

[Asker]

Yeah, I can understand that. It’s just— I’ve been able to be alone in his house for years and hang there but ever since he’s gotten a roommate this year, a friend he’s trying to help out, I can’t be there if he is there without him. It’s kinda inconvenient because sometimes I get to his house 30-45 before he does so I could make dinner for us and do good girlfriend things but now I have to wait in my car in the driveway bc of his distrust of the situation. I’ve stopped getting there early which means we don’t have as much time to hang out because now cooking and stuff is taking up the time I could be spending solely with him. We used to be able to run around his house naked and have sex wherever and now if his roommate is home, which he is more often than not, it is restricted to his bedroom. It’s taken away the spiciness and spontaneity from his home.

[TheMadLad]

That’s something both of you need to find a balanced ground in.

I’m not you or your boyfriend to make my own conclusion or resolution.

Don’t get an answer from here even you liked it.

[Asker]

Thank you, that was helpful!

[TheMadLad]

You’re welcome.

[MementoMori777]

You aren't his problem, the guy is, he doesn't trust him, he just said it in the most short and straight forward way it think, unless he really is mistrustful of you.

[Pete671]

Does your boyfriend have a very small penis?

[Asker]

Definitely not lol

[Pete671]

cool, he shouldn't be worried then really, my girlfriend did sleep with a flatmate purely because he had a really big dick,,,

[Anonymous]

Because it's so easy for girls to cheat and they are doing it nowadays more than guys.

[EaterPeter]

The way you talk with him. the way you look at him. The way you talk about him.

[EaterPeter]

Tell him. You two don't have to end up like his friends and his girl friend. Why don't you let him go and two of us move together at some other nice place.

[slatyb]

Because he would cheat on you if he had a chance.

[Asker]

Doubtful

[Jamie05rhs]

Because he isn't naive like you are.