Has anyone been in an open or poly relationship?

[Samantha36]

If so, who's idea was it? Did the relationship last?

[provokeesmokee]

No, but I guess also technically?

I have a network of friends with benefits and sometimes three of us have fun together. But we're not in a relationship other than casual friends with benefits.

If everyone involved is doing so with consent, full knowledge, agreed on rules and standards, and are all on board, it can work well.

But it requires a lot of communication, work, and knowing yourself.

If you started monogamous, I've rarely seen an opening of that relationship work. I've seen it work once, but even then the man nearly fucked it up. Several times.

It takes work. And a lot of understanding.

[rebeliouse]

@provokeesmokee

how did the man nearly fuck it up?

[provokeesmokee]

By cheating and not communicating instead of being open and honest, then getting defensive and using his upbringing as an excuse.

He got on the right of it when nearly every of his respected friends, myself included, told him we were upset with how he hurt his partner.

Honestly if he'd pulled this with nearly anyone else, he'd have been dumped by a LT partner for the 3rd time. Fortunately, though, his hard work and therapy have worked.

Turns out his upbringing did give him a shit ton of destructive self-image beliefs. Including making him think monogamy was his only option.

He's lucky he found a fellow poly person to date, who has patience and strength to wait for him to work through his issues.

Protip for everyone: get therapy. GaG doesn't count.

[Losalt]

Definitely...
My own poly relationship didn't work out...
And pretty much everything you said is spot on...

[rebeliouse]

how can he cheat when his is in poly? was he seeing girls outside the poly?

[zeitgeist057]

@rebeliouse you can cheat when being poly by not abiding by the rules. Cheating is not playing by the rules, be they monogamous rules, polyamorus rules, or five card draw poker. Monogamous people seem to think that being poly means "no rules", which is also probably why a lot of mono people have a poor opinion of poly, because they didn't experience/see actual polyamory, but rather a monogamous person's idea of poly; acting like they could do anything they want, whenever they want, which usually ends up poorly for people around a person acting like that.

[Agape93]

Yo. They last as long as they are meant to, no need to make it a hostile exit. But it's agreed to mutually before we even date. If they have any issue with it, we don't date, simple as that

[Billlewis]

I generally only have a relationship with a woman who is comfortable dating other guys, while I remain 100% faithful to her.

[Samantha36]

Why is that?

[Billlewis]

I've been a cuckold for a long time, and (I know this probably sounds strange... lol) it just drives me crazy when she won't let me fuck her, and other guys are fucking her regularly! I even enjoy helping her get ready for her dates with other guys and then, if I'm lucky, licking her clean afterwards.

[Luckycharms12]

Wtf you need to get more confidence in yourself if that's all you think you are worth

[Billlewis]

@Luckycharms12 Actually, the reverse is true -- I have so much self confidence that I need to get another perspective from my personal relationships. Only a guy who has a very secure sense of self can be a cuckold for any length of time.

[OlderAndWiser]

Q. Has anyone been in an open or poly relationship?
A. No. No one has ever been in an open or poly relationship.

[zeitgeist057]

Yes, I am currently in one, and you could say it was "my idea" because I am poly and don't do exclusive relationships. This relationship is just shy of a year old. I have been practicing polyamory for the last 15 years or so and some of my relationships you could say are ongoing for about 10 years or more, and I've had some girlfriends come and go that last somewhere around 6 months on average.

[NeverGiveUp69]

I'm in an open/poly relationship. It works perfect for me and my girl. She does not sleep with anyone though, she does not want to. She is 20 years older than me so that might have someting to do with it. She knows I don't love the other girls. She knows it is purely just for the sex.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Hookup culture really needs to die out.
It's either monogamy or its not a "relationship".

[Ironic_Method]

It was a mutual thing to open up the relationship due to her low sex drive. It's been amazing and every year it gets better.

[Jerre]

I guess you could say I’m in a Poly relationship. I have a number of FWBs, we date, have fun.

[azgınteke]

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[Kelly6]

Yea I’m in that relationship

[rebeliouse]

tell us more how many involved what do u get up to?

[Kelly6]

It’s a open relationship where I also have few more guys on side

[rebeliouse]

does he have more women on side?

[Kelly6]

@rebeliouse no hubby is faithful

[Billlewis]

I love it -- that's exactly the way my relationships are with women.

[rebeliouse]

@Samantha36

r u going to try poly?

[Samantha36]

No I don't think so. My boyfriend won't allow it. I mentioned it when we 1st met and he said that he could never share me. I chose to be with him and only him.
I like the idea of watching him fuck another woman though.

[rebeliouse]

why do u like the idea of watching him with another woman? would u also want him to watch u with another guy? r u bi?

[Bricealan]

@Samantha36 I think that is great and very open of you sexually to like the idea of watching him fuck another woman. I know men like that view of their wife or girlfriend being fucked but your view is even better for a woman I think.

[vj0090]

Yessssss