So (34m) boyfriend, does things he is aware I don’t like.
I will express that I don’t appreciate something and ask for a specific action from him. Despite knowing that, he continues to do the same behaviors causing me to become emotional.
here’s how our conversation went, and let me know if I’m trippin;
Me: “hey that thing you did upsets me a lot *explains in detail what he did*”
Him: “I’m not going to let you try to make me upset because you’re upset”
Me: “All I’m doing is explaining that you’re upsetting me, we’ve talked about this many times and you promised to provide clear open communication to avoid misunderstandings and assumptions”
Him: “it’s not my job to control your emotions”
We’ve had this conversation many times and concluded communicating is important but then when the situation happens, he acts all cold and detached when I get upset and makes me out to be the problem. I can’t help that behavior he does upsets me, I’m doing the best I can by communicating that I don’t like it. He’s not doing anything to change it.
If I’m being honest, I feel he purposely tries to trigger me to get a rise out of me just to throw it in my face and make me feel pathetic.
imagine someone telling you, they agree their behavior is wrong and they’ll do something differently just to completely throw that out the window when it actually happens.
I know there’s not much to go off of but I hope the gist is there enough to give an opinion.
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He clearly either don't care how u fell when he does whatever he is doing or only says he knows its wrong in the moment to get u off his back
Yeah. I agree with that.
I have had the feeling he just tells me what I want to hear so I’ll shut up. Makes sense since he doesn’t actually do it.
So what next
What sort of behavior are you asking him to change?
To not leave flirty comments under his exes (that he’s still “friends” with) photos.
He said they’ve been friends for 4 years before they dated for 3 months and he should be able to compliment her etc and that it’s coming from a “platonic” place.
I don't know how “Damn you look like a doll 😍” or “🔥🔥🤤” could be interpreted as “platonic”
I set a boundary that I would not like to see him saying those things to other women especially an ex. He says I’m right, it’s inappropriate but when I catch him doing it he flips the script and makes me the “overreacting sensitive” one. That its “no big deal” and blah blah blah lol.