There's a guy whom I really like. He can have conversations on intellectual topics. He has a nice personality, is funny and such a gentleman.
We're both into fitness. However, he's lean. He weighs about the same or less than me (depending on the day, but most days I'd weigh 5 lb more). I have muscles all over my body, not big, but I do have muscles, maybe more in lower body.
I like how I look. I'm not planning to lose weight and I don't want to be skinny, but I don't feel the physical attraction to this guy's body size, although I feel attracted to his personality and Intellectuality.
I believe that a person's qualities and personality are more important than look, but I wouldn't say that physical attraction is unnecessary. I just would prefer a guy who's a little bigger than me, does not weigh the same as I, so when we do have physical contacts, the muscle volume is there. I wouldn't feel like I'm hugging a child and I wouldn't have to worry about crushing him.
Am I superficial? I feel ashamed and guilty, but would understand if this guy likes how he looks, since I'm not willing to lose weight to make him be the heavier one. I'm just surprised since I had seen a picture of him (topless) looking jacked.
We're both into fitness. However, he's lean. He weighs about the same or less than me (depending on the day, but most days I'd weigh 5 lb more). I have muscles all over my body, not big, but I do have muscles, maybe more in lower body.
I like how I look. I'm not planning to lose weight and I don't want to be skinny, but I don't feel the physical attraction to this guy's body size, although I feel attracted to his personality and Intellectuality.
I believe that a person's qualities and personality are more important than look, but I wouldn't say that physical attraction is unnecessary. I just would prefer a guy who's a little bigger than me, does not weigh the same as I, so when we do have physical contacts, the muscle volume is there. I wouldn't feel like I'm hugging a child and I wouldn't have to worry about crushing him.
Am I superficial? I feel ashamed and guilty, but would understand if this guy likes how he looks, since I'm not willing to lose weight to make him be the heavier one. I'm just surprised since I had seen a picture of him (topless) looking jacked.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
No it’s not superficial. You have every right to need to have at less some form of physical attraction. Sometimes physical compatibility could surprise you though, not everyone that we’re attracted to is compatible with us physically so you never know but if you don’t feel like even trying, don’t pressure yourself !
What are ways I could "try" to find out if I would be physically "compatible" with this guy?
I was considering going out with him again to see if his qualities and intellectuality could somehow replace the need for physical attraction. I didn't expect him to be so lean because of that topless summer picture of his. I would've been okay if he had weighed a little more than me. I don't require him to be jacked.
If I go want to try,
Please disregard previous message. I did not finish typing.
I read your last sentence about trying, so if I do want to try to build that physical attraction to this guy, how do I go about it?
Let me answer that by turning it around on you. Imagine a guy likes you, your personality. But you're just a little too big for him. Does that make him shallow?
If a guy thinks that I'm a nice woman but too big for him, I would just say too bad I'm not his body type, and move on.
I actually don't look big at all. Haha... I'm a dress size 4 - 5/6. It's just that I'm not size 0 and I'm not willing to be that for any guy, so I don't expect a guy to gain weight for me. I just don't know how he would take this news since we had good conversations.
OK you're reading far too much into my response. I'm not making personal commentary on you, I don't even know own you. I'm just trying to answer your question. I'm trying to say whether you're shallow or not is going to be as varied as the people responding. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter. I mean if you are shallow you're only shrinking your own dating pool by being it. Either way, if you're not attracted to someone you're not attracted to them. And there are 3.5 billion women on the planet. In that respect you are not special. So don't worry, it's really not a big deal if you reject him.
No, not at all. That's perfectly natural.
Thank you for your insight.