Is sabotaging someone for their own good a form of though love?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Perhaps to teach them a lesson, such as getting them fired from their job or rejected for a promotion, although doing so in secret while outwardly showing them support?

[OlderAndWiser]

If someone did that to me, it would probably be the end of our relationship. This is one of those “Road to hell paved with good intentions” things.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

That's true, but I do think that sometimes a moral slap can be necessary for personal growth - when it happened eventually it helped me become better.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, but my decisions are MY decisions and if someone tries to take them from me, they will regret that. Years ago, my family tried to push me into a divorce. I knew my marriage was failing and I already felt badly but having my autonomy threatened only made it worse. I had no contact with my family for over a year. I eventually got divorced, but it was when I decided it was right, on my timeline, and not because someone else made that choice for me.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

My tough love is letting them make mistakes if they didn't heed my warning. I TOLD YOU SO is what I'll say after. Learn from mistakes if you don't want to avoid them!

[WhitneySnow]

Definitely not. That is the complete betrayal of friendship.

[loveslongnails]

Give us an example of how that could be a good thing or a loving thing to do, please.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Well, when my wife got me fired back when I worked as an employee because she understood it wasn't the path I should have taken in life, even if I liked that job.

[loveslongnails]

And you think that was a loving thing to do, because SHE knew what was your best path and where the future would lead? That's not love, dude, that's manipulation. If she loved you, she'd have respected your decision but talked to you about all her concerns, giving you a chance to think on them and discuss them with her.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Well, at the time I was upset, but now I managed to get into a lucrative career and enjoy quite the luxurious life majorly thanks to her and my father railroading me.

[loveslongnails]

Uh huh. Until she decides on the next thing that's "good for you". Best of luck.

[ProbablyClueless]

No, that is absolutely not any form of love, tough or otherwise.

That's how you destroy a connection.

[Andres77]

Depending on how, if it hurts them or not, it can be

[jshm2]

No more than murder is.

There is good reason it's called "sabotage" and not " special help"

[AmandaYVR]

Noooooo.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I like to think that it helped me grow when it was done to me.
Of course, not everyone was the same.

[Sovereignty]

Na. Sabotaging people is a form of self hate.

[katiesmuff]

I don't see that showing any kind of love for the other person.

[NathanDavis]

it's borderline sociopath... that's what this is

[lorenzomichael]

No that's just fucked up. I would just beat there ass. Or tell them to go fuck themselves and get out of my life.

[jeffend888]

This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

[RavVid]

That would just be evil.

[wishiwasfiction]

No it's betrayal

[TacosRAwesome]

No. That's a sneaky ass punk bitch move.

[Vegasrunner]

That's a good way to get beat up

[DextroShade]

This is psychopath behavior.

[jimmy2]

It's called Tough Love