Have you ever been secretly in love with someone and didn't know how to tell them?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Of course! My socially awkward self used to be that person that hoped if a guy had a crush on me, he'd magically know or find out, and he'd feel the same-

I was such a naive idiot growing up 😂
While I never directly told them, I'd have a friend do "recon" and ask said guy-
No luck.

I was traumatized one summer in college because a friend asked a guy I liked how he felt about me- while putting him on speaker so I could hear.

Long short short, he told said friend we [me and him] discussed it and decided we to stay friends. Which would have been great except for one thing-

We never discussed that... at all. Meaning he lied to my friend for whatever reason. I took it as an immediate sign of disinterested and cried over a pack of oreos that evening.

And that's one of the MANY reasons it's called a crush. I'm depressed now, I'm off to eat some cheezits 😐

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Yes with my then best friend. I didn’t think it was love. But I knew I felt so much attraction towards him. He was the perfect guy for me but I was just a friend to him. I wish he knew how I felt then. But oh well.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Coach, I hope you aren’t counting on getting a confession from a secret admirer!

Avicenna · Answer

No, if I am interested I let her know and I only fall in love with a woman I'm dating.

RealMarek · Answer

I had a crush on my HS friend’s girlfriend, but because it would have been wrong to make a move on her I stayed silent. It’s not that I didn’t know how to tell her, I could in good conscience not tell her. She and my friend were not a good match-always arguing-but dated into college. At some point during college we all got together and when her boyfriend was busy socializing she asked me if she was attractive. I paused. Why was she asking me this? In that moment I saw she was insecure about this. I told her “You shouldn’t need me to tell you that you’re beautiful. Honestly, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.” She looked touched, relieved, and confused all at the same time…almost cried. It was something she needed to hear, but I think the way I said it must have betrayed how deeply I felt for her. She took my hand in hers and we just sat there for a moment. The tension between us was thick…she was still my friend’s girlfriend. She and I were in a group that drove home together after the party (her boyfriend had to stay behind), and she laid down with her head on my lap, put my arm around her, and slept that way on the ride home. Could I have acted and made her my girlfriend that night? Maybe, maybe not. We all went our separate ways and never saw each other again. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend, but I had met someone else who happened to be my horrible ex wife.

Many years have passed. I ended up leaving my abusive ex. All parties involved found good matches and had children eventually and we’re all happy from what I’ve heard. If what I told her helped her be more confident, so much the better.

DancingQueen16 · Answer

Yes because I had a giant crush on one of my best friends for years but I was too scared to tell him because I thought if I told him and he didn't feel the same things between us would be awkward but little did I know he actually did feel the same way and now we're dating and I couldn't be happier 😁

mobiusforniner · Answer

Nope. I always told them. I believe in being authentic and not hiding behind a fake wall. In some cases it was utterly devastating (especially for her) but I never regretted it. Id rather tell someone what I feel than go through my whole life wondering if I should have said something but didn't

molonski2 · Answer

I don't know about " in love " , but certainly hidden lust , crush , there has been so many , and its goes back to the age of 16 , I still lust after a number of these women but I now know its probably better within my mind , than it probably would have been if it really happened.

ShesRad80 · Answer

no.

its rare i have those kind of feels, instead of saying i should have i should have- i do. whatever happens, happens. i would rather be a fool- then regret anything in this life. i wear my heart on my sleeve being a passionate italian, my intentions are pure and how they disregarded, played games, in the end will be their burden not mine.

Miristheiss · Answer

Love? No. I've had crushes and never told. That was back in middle school and the first year or two of high school. That version of me no longer exists though.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Not at all. If I like/love someone, I tell them.

i_am_tbjxii · Answer

Nah I’m too open and direct however I did have love for a childhood friend but hit friendzoned when we got older lol (I did tell her how I feel). That’s fine lol since I also friendzoned people so you keep just moving on. I’m just happy cause I have no regrets.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, a few times. I was paralyzed with fear.

Anonymous · Answer

In love? How can you be in love with them if they don't know? That's not love. That's infatuation, a crush.

And yes, many times I've been attracted to a woman. But seldom do I not know how to tell them. I just know better than to tell them most times.

ThatRandomOne · Answer

didn't know how? no. Wouldn't:? Plenty of times.

But people have standards that only a god could fulfill and I am lacking severly. Which is why I stay away from relationships. I hate walking on egg shells.

LittleSally · Answer

I think we've all been there at some point, right? I can't imagine a person who wasn't.

NewHopeGir33 · Answer

One of closest friends, I know he has a thing for pregnant girls but i dont that is strong enough to overcome how close we are

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I have certainly crushed hard on people and not told them. Love for me has to be reciprocated, otherwise it's just a one sided infatuation

Massageman · Answer

Actually, we finally discussed our mutual interest in each other at our 50th High School reunion. could've, shoulda, woulda. sigh.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes, a number of times. The one time I did, she just said that I shouldn't joke about such things.

strateguy632 · Answer

a few times. some lady i was able to approach but others i didn't know what to say.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It wasn't that I didn't know how, it just wasn't necessarily appropriate for me to say anything.

Billlewis · Answer

I've had that happen several times. I think most people have.

RobT312 · Answer

Yeah it happens. For me it has happened with people im friends with

Mamaliv · Answer

I don't know love is such a strong word… but super attracted to, yes!

sheenagwapa · Answer

i have potential likes to this i mean people who i think i will like romantically soeakinh

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, if anything I am too open with that stuff.

Hellur991 · Answer

Yup. And I think she knew. But never bother telling her

helva · Answer

Happened often, especially when I was a teen.

Alex-Snow · Answer

All the time in high school... they were crushes

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Yes.. And this is totally the place to admit it... Christina Ricci, I've been in love with you since Casper :)

Guardian45 · Answer

Yes, I still am. The problem is I'm poly, so there's more than one, and none of them either realizes or takes me seriously! What should I do?

Staximus · Answer

Yeah, until I found out the feeling wasn't mutual anymore.

Grovermint · Answer

No. I told everyone I was interested in and was shot down every time for my efforts.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Yes. The time I was so much enamoured with someone was when I was 13. She’d a boyfriend.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yea every so many years

shades777 · Answer

nah im not a little bitch, ill tell em and see what happens

007kingifrit · Answer

of course, but mostly i just thought it wasn't a good idea

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. But a guy had been "secretly in love" with me but it was obvious as daylight 🤣

Kaylawinters11 · Answer

Yes I’ve never been able to tell someone that I’m attracted to them

Sparkie460 · Answer

Not since I was a teenager.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a crush on my coworker and its so hard for me to control it but I can’t say anything

katiesmuff · Answer

Not that I can recall!

CheeseMonster · Answer

Nope. That's one of the perks, I suppose.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Back in HS. As an adult…not so difficult.

serious · Answer

No, nothing like that ever happened.

SnowedIn · Answer

Of course!

Likes2drive · Answer

I’ve had crushes but never told them

boobliker · Answer

o yes, but carful with it!

Christoff92 · Answer

No. I would just be honest with her.

LavLavLuv · Answer

🫣🫣

pethouse · Answer

Maybe not in love but yes

ErnieRBennett · Answer

Yes most definitely.

OddBeMe · Answer

You’re describing my grade year levels 1-12.

Miah05 · Answer

Yes.

Simslover92 · Answer

Yes my neighbor.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and it sucked.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yeah

elizamichale1 · Answer

Yea i have

Jazzy54 · Answer

Yup. Currently.

jahaims · Answer

That isn't love

In_Trance · Answer

Never

Have you ever been secretly in love with someone and didn't know how to tell them?

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