Boyfriend thinks I'm going to drop him for another guy?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend thinks I like black men because he saw a video that said all women likes black men and he's been acting weird and rude. He said that I can just be like any other girl who just uses him, but the thing is.. he has nothing for me to use him for and I genuinely love him.

Meanwhile... He's the one who's into black women but he's with me, a non-black person, talking negatively about black women and point out a lot of stuff about them.

His insecurities and accusations are making me feel very distant from him.

[DaveJord]

Sounds like gaslighting and blame shifting. So, he starts the convo or agreement accusing you of being something you are not, in order to shift the blame for his behavior on you. So, if he is into black woman, then maybe he just trying to blame you for wanting black men, because he really wants black women.

In the end it all sounds pretty toxic and immature... I would dump him

[Asker]

As a guy, why would he start being this way after years together then?
Why not just let me know he wasn't into me or stopped being into after a while? I know there was a black girl he was talking to before but they never got together and I think he wanted to be with her but he moved states far away from her.
But even then, if he wants a black girl, why go for someone who isn't your preference or someone you wanna be with in the first place?

[DaveJord]

I can only guess honestly. Obviously, I don't really know this guy or your situation. But it sounds to me that something changed for this guy and not now he is looking for any excuses to find a way out of the relationship. I mean when you start accusing someone of something without any proof or supporting evidence... I mean it's pretty toxic behavior honestly. I would never do that unless I didn't care if I offended the woman, and I would only do that if I didn't care if she ended the relationship. But I am emotionally mature and intelligent person, so I would never do that.

I have been falsely accused of things by woman a lot in my wife, for saying this thing, or feeling this way or that way. For being in sensitive just because I disagreed about an opinion... so yeah whenever that shit starts, I am already one step out the door if she not going to change her pattern of behavior or at least acknowledge my feelings when says the things she says.

[Lynx122]

He's insecure and the internet probably magnified it :). I understand how you feel but i can't really see what you can do. You should tell him to work on his insecurities and his mental state and if he can't do it or doesn't accept that it's his problem you have to end it. That's how I see it.

[Anonymous]

He probably is jealous of Big Black Cocks and has ran into one too many interracial blacked porn videos and is probably always watching hot white girls plopping their fat white asses all the way down on those big juicy black balls. White girls pussies are also an addiction for horny black men

[SL1CK_BL1CK]

This is true

[provokeesmokee]

He sounds insecure and like he's spewing projection everywhere.

I would dump a guy like this.

[Asker]

Smfh that is the saddest thing ever after being together for years. Like, just why now of all times? Could've told me he stopped being into me if he didn't want to be with me or talk to me because there was a black girl he was talking to before and I'm pretty sure she wanted my boyfriend, too, but he moved states far away from her a long time ago.

[provokeesmokee]

You assume he has courage.

He does not.

He wants YOU to dump HIM so he can keep feeling like a victim.

You've grown. He hasn't. Don't agonize over time "lost" - it wasn't wasted. You grew, you learned. I'm sure some memories with him are still fond.

It's just that instead of growing in confidence and trust, your boyfriend is falling deeper into his insecurities. And he's dragging you down with him.

Sometimes people - and many men - just suck. And they manage to lie for a bit to cover it up.

[Vick2828]

Don't break up with him. Talk to him first. Tell if he doesn't stop that you can't be with him anymore cause it's getting annoying.

[Asker]

How should I approach this? Just plain out and say it?

[inhua]

there's no shortage of cheating stories from men who were in the same place he was. he just doesn't want to be next one to go through it

[jahaims]

Just dump the moron

[sheikalana]

He's just insecure.