Why do ex’s become so cold hearted and mean when they break up?

Question

My question is why do ex’s become so mean and cold hearted all a sudden when they break up with you even if you did nothing wrong to them or disrespected them in any way?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A few things here:

Exes really do not owe you anything. However decent people can be empathetic. They can respect you but also be honest and draw the line about not wanting to communicate anymore. However fewer and fewer people are decent nowadays.
Women can demand unconditional love and respect for just existing but men can’t. No. Not at all. No only care about men if there is some sort of benefit in it for them (they have feelings, need money, it helps their “optics”, etc.). This behavior comes out of evolution because there was a time in human history women had to be this way for survival purposes. But once they determine a man is no longer valuable he quickly becomes expendable. They don’t care for nor respect men just for the sake of principle.
Modern society is getting more and more nasty, vicious, dog eat dog and selfish. The breakdown in local communities, dropped attendance in churches/faith based organizations and of course modern feminism (which encourages women to treat men like sh*t with no second thought) has all contributed to this.

Singlehood is way up and marriages are down. Feminism is the original sin here. But now men are getting jaded, quitting or toxic in response to the abuse women think they can get away with. It’s horrible all the way around.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

The idea is that they do it so you will hate them enough to not want them anymore. That's how Coach Lee explained it when I used to watch all those get-your-ex back videos after my own breakup. The dumper tries to be as cruel as possible so you will leave them alone and lose your feelings for them.

BunBun369 · Accepted Answer

Why would they be nice to you if they just broke up with you? They obviously don't like you lol.
Not only that but remaining friends after a break up sends mixed signals especially to the one that got dumped. Why would you want to go through that emotional turmoil watching your ex move on and be happy with someone else especially if you had a deeper feeling for than they did you?

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

From my Own Experience with Being The Dumper, We Vent and Resent!!! Must Be a Good Reason. xxoo

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. Finding a reason to be angry at you makes it easier to break up with you rather than being consumed with guilt.

2. As a secondary benefit, your partner getting mad at you should make it easier for you to let go and move forward rather than dwelling on the past.

3. Who decided that you did nothing wrong? Who decided that you did nothing to disrespect them in any way? Was it. . . you?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I understand when it's some gnarly breakup and there are cold hard reasons, but in other cases, it's like..."so, we break up on friendly terms, but now you won't even come over to get your shit?"

Other cases though... like when my friend calls me crying because his girl is sick of him getting drunk and fucking random women all the time... I don't know what to say. I mean... he's really fucking up. Jeasus... I'd break up with myself if I got so drunk I pass out in the park or end up banging women I'd never even talk to without being drunk enough.

Yeah... some of the women I've dealt with just have this switch and they just turn off any feelings or care in the world even if there is no reason for it. I've actually relied on it to get women to leave me alone... I'll start bragging about all the vadge I'm banging, and "Snap" I just flicked that switch. Won't even text me after that.

DiegoO · Answer

Because there's no reason to be in contact with your ex.

Under certain context, it's messed up, but for the most part, it's best to delete anything related to your ex (pics, vids), or trow away/burn, certain objects that were exclusive to the relation (teddy bear, bracelet, etc).

That's life. Advice: don't cling on the past. Let go and set yourself free.

Anonymous · Answer

Well if she broke up with you it was by her choice so it's less likely she's hurt. Maybe you were supposed to be bothered by it more than you were and that makes her angry. If this is the case she probably did you a favor ma. Crazy, table for 1!

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Who ended it? In what circumstances?
Personally once a relationship is over it's time to move on. I focus on me and leave them to look after themselves. It's not meant to be cold hearted but to move on i need to put distance.

CubsterShura · Answer

You may think you haven't done anything wrong but maybe they think that you did. Or even if you didn't, it is fair to not want to stay in touch anymore after a breakup

Kaamraj · Answer

A couple harbors both good and bad feelings for eachother. When they are no longer pair bonded then they're no longer under obligation to expand the good and suppress the bad.

sheikalana · Answer

Because they want nothing to do with you. If they broke up with you you should just leave them alone.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Because you’ve broken up.. it’s obvious. They aren’t in love with you anymore, why would they show you affection?

jeffend888 · Answer

Because who cares at that point. There's no longer a vested interest and it really doesn't matter what you say then. The result is still going to be the same so there's no motivation to be your best self for this person.

Dargil · Answer

They feel they have given you their time and bodies and ended not having a good return on investment. They never consider what you lost.

AndLikeThatHesGone · Answer

Because they still feel affection for the person they were dating. And they have to become cold-hearted so they can kill the affection they feel. It's the only way they can move on.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

They've held their animosity with you in for a long time, now they don't need to hide it behind a mask anymore.

strateguy632 · Answer

girls delete the good and feel you stole their time so vengeful as petite exhibited here

LiamJHayden · Answer

For those who do this, I suspect for most it is a defensive mechanism. If the ex is seen in a negative light, it is easier for them to deal with the loss of the companionship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Love turns to hate

Tecilla · Answer

Bitterness, insecurity, unforgiveness?

hardboiledink · Answer

To move on completely

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because you took away her toy (penis).

Nemesis2k7 · Answer

Female ego. Nuff said.

Why do ex’s become so cold hearted and mean when they break up?

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