Me and my husband might have to go long distance for one year how to cope?

[sheikalana]

So things didn't go as planned. Me and my partner both live away from home. He was supposed to start a new job this week, however, the new supposed job informed him that his hiring process is delayed and they don't know when or if the job will go through although they really need someone for that position. We're obviously worried and don't know what to do at this point. He already started applying for other jobs including outside of the country while he awaits for this job's final decision. He might have to go away for one year and then come back. I have the opportunity to travel to him every three weeks to see him and I'm willing to do that. I don't want this to damage our relationship. Anyone has been through something similar?

[genericname85]

one year is tough. i'm not gonna lie, the odds aren't in your favor but you can work to make your relationship endure this and knowing that it is gonna be work that you have to do helps a great deal.

the most essential part is having regular long conversations (at the very least 2 hours every week but i highly suggest more) with the explicit goal of keeping both of yours life goals aligned so you can keep working at the future together. also it's best to have a date night digitally every week and participate in sexting or cybersex. for cybersex and sexting, there are great remote controlled toys these days that you can use to still have "some" level of actual physical interaction across the distance.

you being able to actually see him once every 3 weeks is a very great factor that will significantly increase the odds of working out together.

[sheikalana]

Thank you so much for your kind words.

[Huntingnfishin]

Having done long distance relationships... my advice is don't. Yeah you say every three weeks now but in 6 months things come up. Mine while he's getting used to life without you. And every three weeks isn't enough when you've had a bad day or a bad week. The experience has left me a bit jaded so take my advice with a grain of salt. Maybe you can make it work!

[sheikalana]

We obviously don't want to go long distance but in worst case scenario we might have too do it for a period of one year.

[Huntingnfishin]

That would seriously suck and I'm sorry if you do. Maybe you can make it work. But the two times I've done it we ended up hating eachother at the end

[sheikalana]

Yea but is not like we're dating. We're married.

[Huntingnfishin]

A piece of paper makes a difference?

[sheikalana]

It makes a lot of difference.

[Huntingnfishin]

Lol I was just trying to give you an honest answer and clearly it wasn't the answer you were looking for.

[REX_JSWL]

Just keep clearing all the doubts
Don't let any question unanswered
Don't ignore texts and call
Time will fly off

[Jamie05rhs]

Why would he have to go out of the country?

[sheikalana]

Because all the job vacancies for what he does have been filled out by now.

[Jamie05rhs]

@sheikalana Oh. Well, if I were him, I would consider working in a different sector temporarily. But that's just my opinion. I know he has to do what he feels is right for him.

[Jamie05rhs]

But if he moves out of the country, can't you move with him?

[EaterPeter]

Counseling?

[sheikalana]

How are we going to do counseling if we'll be away from each other?

[EaterPeter]

On phone, online

[EaterPeter]

Physical distance can cause all other kind of distances, a relationship that is secure to start with would have less problems

[EaterPeter]

It is a great time to seek counsel

[sheikalana]

I don't like the idea of counseling. We don't have any issues with each other.

[EaterPeter]

Be a legend

[EaterPeter]

Of course most people don't realize until too late

[EaterPeter]

Most people are denial?

[EaterPeter]

In *

[EaterPeter]

Let me get back to your question

[EaterPeter]

What do you think of online date night

[sheikalana]

We will obviously call each other every night.

[EaterPeter]

? There are options for online movie night / party as well

[EaterPeter]

All the best