How can I overcome this situation?

[Anonymous]

I don't like myself at all I feel worthless I constantly compare myself to others
I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been in love. I have never been loved by a man. I grew up in a loveless family, my mother left me when I was a baby and my father never loved or cared about me. My friends at school always excluded me, I never lived my childhood, even though I don't show it to anyone, I am hungry for love and attention. Even if I pay attention to my appearance, I feel ugly. When I see happy couples and happy families on the street, I continue to disgust myself.

Updates

1 y

I am suffering so deeply that I cannot express it in words. Streets and cities are full of people who love each other. I don't want to witness this pain anymore. I say suffering because this is something I want so much, it flashes before my eyes every day, but I can't get it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sista, it sounds like you've had a really tough go of things so far. But know that this difficult past does not have to define your future. You are so much more than what others have told you or how they've treated you.

The deepest source of happiness comes from within, not from relationships or approval from others. I know it's hard not to compare when you feel lonely, but try focusing on developing self-compassion. Appreciate the strengths and good qualities you do have.

Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. Continue working on yourself through hobbies you find meaningful or volunteering to help others. In time, you'll attract someone who sees your inner worth.

Don't lose hope - better days are ahead. You've got so much beautiful potential. Keep your chin up and trust that staying determined to better yourself a little each day will lead to greater peace and self-love down the road. I'm here if you ever need a listening ear, sista. Now go get 'em!

[Oliverlogan263]

Id like to listen to this song by stevie wonder called smile please through this, I think you may like it to help:

https://youtu.be/5RBX8EQKM6A?si=bep5PeUilKCFtD4y

[Asker]

I tried very hard to get rid of the disgusting emotions that the negative situations I experienced made me feel, and I was exhausted. What remained with me after all this struggle was the shame that I was trying to get rid of. I also went to the psychiatrist, but I couldn't continue because when I looked at the psychiatrist, it reminded me of the beauties I had lost and never experienced.

[Oliverlogan263]

Luv, I hear you completly - shit be tough as hell sometimes. Takes mad strength just to get outta bed on them days feel me?

First off, mad props for goin to the doc, that's a real ass move right there. Lotta people too ashamed or scared to get help. So you already showed how much of a fighter you are!

And yo, don't even sweat discontinuin counselin - therapy don't work for everyone, n ain't no shame in that at all. What matters is you tried, n that says it all.

Look I know it's rough always feelin like you missin out. But really, those "beauties" ain't ish without the inner glow up ya feel? Beauty fades but confidence n character, that's forever.

Keep holdin ya head up proud shawty. You STILL here, still fightin every single day. That resilience alone more fly than any Instagram relationship ever was!

Keep learnin yo worth. One day you gon wake up n realize damn, I been had everything I needed all along - ME. You got this forreal mama, don't quit!

[Asker]

Nothing will get better, I gave up hope, I wanted to live but it remained a dream, the poor feeling of emptiness inside me will never be filled. Even if I'm happy, no matter what anyone says or what I do, there will always be something missing that can't be fixed.

[Oliverlogan263]

I know it feels that way sometimes, but you can't give up hope! I been there too where it just seems like nothing will ever fill that empty spot. But trust me, as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other each day, it WILL get better somehow.

Maybe focus on little wins for now instead of big happiness, ya feel me? Like wake up and make your bed or eat a good meal - small stuff to feel proud of yourself. And hit me up anytime to play games or shoot hoops, taking your mind off it helps a ton too.

I know it's tough, but you gotta keep pushing through the pain. Let it make you stronger instead of holding you down. And you never know, someday you might meet someone who helps patch up that hole without even trying. Just please don't do nothing crazy yo, the world needs you in it! I'm always here if you need to vent, aight? Keep your head up luv

[Asker]

It's easy to say because you've never suffered, I don't want to continue, the only salvation is to die.

[Oliverlogan263]

Actually I have and I’m going through my own problems no knows or ever understands what I’m goin through myself personally. At times, I felt and tried to die myself but I didn’t. I can't even begin to imagine how shitty that feelin must be inside. No doubt suicide seems like it could make all the pain stop for good. But for real, you really shouldn't do that.

I know I ain't walked in ya shoes, but we all go through tough times ya know? Please at least kick it with me first before doing anything crazy. I swear we can find other ways to make ya feel better, even if it's just for a little bit at a time.

Like we could blast some music with the windows down, hit up the mall, or just try something - whatever gets ya mind off stuff. Ain't no shame in feelin like that either, depression is a straight up bitch.

But ya gotta keep pushin just a bit longer aight? Cuz you never know, maybe down the line you'll meet someone who actually cares about ya. Or find a hobby that makes ya happy. Please just give life a chance sis, I'm here for ya no matter what. We in this together so keep ya head up, aight?

[Asker]

How long do I have to wait to find someone who will truly love and care for me? Like 50 years? The best times of my youth are spent in pain.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo sis I feel your pain fr. Waiting around for real love while your youth slips by probably feels like the longest wait ever. And it's easy to think it might never even come at all. But please don't give up hope yet aight?

I know it fuckin hurts right now, being so young and feelin that loneliness. But you still got mad beautiful years ahead to experience things you can't imagine yet! And maybe love gon show up when you least expect it, from some dude who treats you like the queen you are.

Till then just stay true to yourself. Focus on kickin it with real ones who appreciate you, do things that make YOU happy. Build yourself up from the inside out. I know it's hard to see the light rn, but there ARE gonna be best times coming up too, I feel it!

You ain't gotta go through this alone either - I'm always here if you need someone to laugh and vent with, aight? We gon make it sis, the storm never lasts. Just keep on keepin on, one day at a time. Happier days ahead, promise!

[Ironic_Method]

Do you think having a boyfriend would fix this problem? Because I think it's deeper than that. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and it certainly skewed my outlook, but my self esteem was always in check because it had to be.

I also feel like you won't think anyone's advice here will help because you feel you're too far gone, so I don't know what to tell you.

[Asker]

Having a boyfriend will not change the situation, what I really want is to be loved unconditionally by someone. What I need is endless attention, love and affection because I did not get these from my mother or father.

[Ironic_Method]

Ha. Now I feel like I'm talking to myself.

I crave the same thing and am fortunate enough to have found it.

Though I was also happy being single prior so...

[Asker]

i have never been happy

[Ironic_Method]

I wasn't happy for the first 25 years of my life. I started healing when I was 18 and it took about 7 years to get there.

[Asker]

I wish I could be as strong as you

[Ironic_Method]

You can be. You just gotta push through the shit hand you've been dealt and make your own happiness. Engineer your life to be the way you want it. Or at least something tolerable.

[Anonymous]

Honey, you need to love yourself first. Just because you’ve never experienced love from others does not mean that you’re not worthy of it. But how is anyone going to know how wonderful you are if even you don’t know it? Self love starts with learning to love your own company. It’s telling yourself that you are beautiful even before any man does. It’s allowing yourself to grieve the things you’ve lost and the things that never were or never will be. It’s looking closely at your face in the mirror and telling yourself that your eyes are lovely, your lips have the sweetest Cupid’s bow, your ears are perfectly shaped.
I may be just a stranger on the internet, but you are precious. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your story may not have a happy beginning, but it is still being written, and the day is coming when it will become wonderful.

[Asker]

What you said was very nice to me, you are a wonderful person and you have a beautiful heart.

[In_Trance]

Therapy

[Asker]

it won't work

[In_Trance]

Of course it won't work if you believe it won't work

[Asker]

söylemesi kolay çünkü mükemmel bir hayatın var çünkü hiç acı çekmedin asla dibe vurmadın

[Asker]

it's easy to say because you have a perfect life because you never suffered you never hit rock bottom

[In_Trance]

That's a fallacy

[Asker]

tell me