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My boyfriend wants me to lose weight and get in shape. Should I feel offended? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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I know it’s probably hurtful to hear these things, but I think it’s also okay for us to want our partner to be healthy. And wouldn’t you want to be healthy for both of you? No one’s body is perfect. But it’s very attractive to both when the other person takes care of themselves. It shows they respect and loves themselves. And that’s sexy. Maybe you two can start working out together?
You should only be offended if he wants you to go down to a weight less than when you met, but wanting you to be at that same weight is not asking too much.
If you don't want to do it, you might have to start again with a new boyfriend, then when the same thing repeats itself you can get rid of him as well.
Not much of a way to live though... just saying.
I would say, if there is any traits of you dating a shorter guy than you or uglier. Then you could also say some bullsh#t and make him do something but that's not the case. You aren't dating someone shorter than you, ig.
Then I wouldn't say that what he is saying is wrong and he is rude.
What kinda relationship is that if he can't say that or you can't say something.
You are supposed to be close and share everything.
If you really think he is rude.
Get out of that relationship, your not worth it.
I dare you to date a shorter guy than you for 4 months and say that.
It's wrong for your boyfriend/girlfriend to have some wishes on how his/her partner want to be.
Everyone has biased image of how their partner to be, Slim - Fat - Fit - Cubby
- Tall - Handsome - Not Bald.
Every one of these are rude.
Don't you think that.
no. you should feel good that someone actually cares about your wellbeing. don't take it negatively. you even said so yourself, you've gained weight. everyone knows once you gain weight, you can easily gain more and get out of control. it's just the facts.
also, you said your bmi is pretty much 25. that is the start of classified overweight. you are overweight, medically. yes.
Well, if his telling you you're fat offends you, don't you think that you should do something about it? Losing weight would be a step in the right direction. That way, he couldn't call you, "fat" anymore and you wouldn't have at least one less reason to be offended.
It starts with belly and in no time your waist and bust will go bloop then it takes more effort to get rid of it.
And you will be less motivated , haha some people don't know to sugar coat things that's all.
And this is coming from a guy whose fat according to American standards 🙃.
I know this will hurt almost all female egos, especially as it relates to weight men can’t ask or want anything from women but women can bash men for what they in a man like small penis is a no for them , not working and earning millions, not wanting short dudes and a billion other things women demands they want from men, the double standards of women
Absolutely its extremely offensive unless you went from eatin like barbie to eating enough for a whole army then he has no right to expect you to go from big Bertha to the baddest bit** on earth that's like asking the Easter Bunny to wear clothes so no one sees his big pecker dangling and his public hairs flowing in the breeze.
Because we all know bunnies don't wear clothes not even playboy bunny's.
It would be more helpful to include your height and weight for reference.
But exercise and staying in shape is just a foundation that any healthy person should be engaging in. Not some quirk for 'gym nuts'.
She said her BMI is ‘under 25’, so it’s probably 24 point something. BMI takes into account height and weight, but waist to hip ratio and waist to height ratio are really more predictive of how healthy you are and whether you’re fat, since it accounts better for weight composition, and they’ve been found to better predict life expectancy, chances of disease and so forth.
True. But height and weight are a little easier to picture than BMI. But yes, I'm sure it's not a brilliant predictor of health.
@Levin
A BMI of 24-24.9 is the equivalent of a woman of average height in the US (5’4) weighing 140-145 pounds, in case that helps.
@Noether Cool, 'cuddly' I guess.
Somewhere around 120lbs would suit me better. But guess I'm an arsehole...
If he cares about you he shouldn't want you to continue to engage in detrimental behavior. Wish somebody had done that to me when I was a kid so I didn't get super fat and have to lose it all.
Feel however you want, but I don't think losing weight is insulting, but him pointing out about your belly fat and cellulite is. Especially when it's not guaranteed to lose cellulite by just being toned - a big part of it is genetic.
if you care about your wellbeing and living a long healthy life, then no you shouldn't be offended
To be fair, it's probably time to tell the boyfriend he needs to get the relationship in shape, else fuck off.
If he's that comfortable to treat you like a wife, then he needs to bring more to make it worth your while.
You should be happy that he even cares. Health is everything. If you don’t have your health…😉
https://www.youtube.com/embed/d8mFMZtRMYwFrom the sounds of it, sounds like it's very vain on his part, so probably.
He might mean it in a more health positive way, which is different.
The short answer is no. You shouldn't feel offended. I believe believe in a healthy relationship two people can express their feelings and desires honestly without fear of offending each other.
And exercise is healthy. Why avoid it?
Truth hurts, sometimes more than the most beautiful of lies, whatever that means.
I guess its better to be alone and honist with shallowness than pretend to be something thats far away from truth!
It's understandable that you feel offended. A BMI of 25 is at the upper end of normal weight and should be no issue.
On face of it it doesn't sound good.
If he was doing it for your health, with a veiw to getting pregnant say, then fair enough. But sounds like he's just a shallow person
If he really loved you, he wouldn't be so controlling. Don't put up with it.