Would my wife and I be selfish for not wanting children, ever?

[Anonymous]

[Ozanne]

No, you're not selfish. You're being mindful of what you can take on, and if you've decided that it's not the right time, or you don't think you will do it at all, that is so much better for the two of you. This old belief that it's "selfish" was only coined by those who have children, viewing those who are childfree for the things that seem obvious to them. That's not how it is. Making a decision to be childfree takes more discipline than getting pregnant and finding yourself with a child not knowing the next steps, especially if you can't afford it or don't know if you can mentally handle it. You are being careful and considerate about what a life would be like with a child, and if you've decided it's not for you, then any sort of guilt people put on you for that is based on blind societal expectations instead of actual logic.

[ArrowheadSW]

Excellent points. I could not have stated it better!

[sheikalana]

It's no one business. It's just between you and your wife. No one has a say in your relationship and what you both want for your marriage.

[Fireguy17]

Not at all.
Where is it written that you have to have kids.
Not everyone has the parent drive in them, so it's fine.
I never got around to it, and my wife can not have children so for some odd reason it worked out.
We have friends that chose not to have kids and they have the freedom to travel, come and go as they please, and good bad or indifferent look at all the money you will save, and you will have all your stuff and it won't be all sticky.
You will miss out on things that children can bring into your life, but that is what you need to decide if it is worth it.

[DaBiggestBird]

Of course not. It’s never selfish to be financially responsible with valid reasoning. If you’re saving some spare paper for $30 popcorn at Cinemark then I understand. Prices for everything are brazy now. It’s only a matter of time before we have another Great Depression.

[ArrowheadSW]

I don't consider it to be selfish at all. The first time I heard someone say that, I was a bit taken back because what does the concept of "selfishness" have to do with it? I think it is great if you know that you don't want children ahead of time.

[Lokiion]

Let me give my 2 cents I wouldn’t say selfish however the happiest people I’ve ever meant had kids I also think it would be interesting to see how a child would grow up and how they would be as an adult

[Asker]

I don't.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, but its ok to be selfish. The idea that self gratification is bad, is just religious dogma.

[Unit1]

why?

[butterly248]

The world is dying. It is probably best not to have kids, they won't have what we have taken for granted. It's not selfish.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The world isn't dying. People really need to stop saying that.

[butterly248]

It is

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, it isn't.

Its not even remotely close to the worst state its been in. That was way before primates, let alone humans, ever existed, and yet here we are.

There were multiple times were the earth was a frozen wastland, or a hothouse that makes today's climate look cold by comparison.

There were many mass extinctions so severe that they make the extinction rates today look almost trivial. Yet life rebuilt itself, ecosystems refilled.

[TheSpaceGnome]

where*

[butterly248]

@TheSpaceGnome here are some examples of the world dying.
1. Two thirds of the Great Barrier Reef have been damaged by coral bleaching. This happens when sea temperatures are too high.
2. 1 in 4: One in four species are at risk of extinction.
3. By 2050, there could be more plastic than fish in the ocean.

[butterly248]

The ice caps are melting. Our children and grandchildren may not even see a elephant, rhino etc.

[TheSpaceGnome]

During the Permian-Triassic extinction event, 70% of all terrestrial organisms and 81% of all aquatic organisms became extinct. Its been called "the great dying" and its still not the worst condition the earth has ever been in.

Yet that extinction event gave rise to the dinosaurs.

The earth is fine, whats at risk is our own survival, and the survival of certain other animal groups, but the earth is not "dying".

[TheSpaceGnome]

As far as saving current species goes, you cannot save them without domestication to restock the wild with for any terrestrial species. And as far as the oceans go, just stop using single use plastic, and only use plastics meant to last forever and be reused instead of thrown away.

[butterly248]

I doubt the people who are going through these weather problems agree with you. The heatwaves in Phoenix, wild fires in Hawaii, the floods in Greece etc.

[butterly248]

www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-58073295

[TheSpaceGnome]

www.climate.gov/.../whats-hottest-earths-ever-been

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm one of the people going through the weather problems, that has no bearing on examining natural history. Even if humans go extinct, and 90% of life on earth dies out, the earth will refill every ecological niche. I'm not downplaying the problem, but the earth is way more resiliant than any geological period or ecosystem. So the earth itself is not dying.

[butterly248]

Okay

[zagor]

No, you would be selfish for wanting a lot of children.

[Berethor]

If you white and don't want children then you are selfish, cause the white race is dying out.

[shades777]

thats between you do but anyone can arge a point based on their bias, but are you REALLY going tk make a decision based on what some random person says

[Anonymous]

Maybe, it really depends on your reasons.

[Asker]

We don't believe we're cut out for it.

[Berethor]

Then you immature and that is not a good reason I would say.

[BoopBoopBeep]

20% of people are childfree

[Drumlin2001]

Nope it's your choice

[LemiaOfThunder]

Some people prefer not to have kids

[Jmmmfi4]

BE WORSE IF YOU HAD KIDS YOU DON'T WANT

[mandyfire98]

Not at all