If your partner demanded to see your phone would you show them?

Question

Bonus question:  If they found nothing on your phone of wrong doing would you break up with them?

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

One thing I don’t permit in life is for myself to be monitored. Whether you’re an employer or my girlfriend, I need you to just trust me and let the results speak for themselves. If the results aren’t up to par, do what you will, but I won’t be micromanaged along the way, absolutely fucking not.

So as that relates to dating…even desiring to see my phone is a huge red flag. It’s not even that there’s anything to hide, it’s just that knowing your partner’s every fucking move is not healthy expectation in a relationship. I’m always gonna be Steve, a somewhat solo act, but you’re welcome to be in the band, just don’t start giving me a hard time about my performance, just quietly leave the band if you don’t like it. I’m here for a good time, not a hard time, haha. “Single and occasionally lonely” is better than “partnered but having to constantly alter what I would naturally do for myself.” So unless you think you have me dead to rights doing some dirt, don’t ask to see my phone. You can use it, I’ll hand it to you and let you read/watch something on there, no problem, but don’t ever even fix your mouth to ask to go through my texts and emails and all that. Again, it’s not even that I’m up to no good, but if you don’t just inherently trust that, then you’re not what I’m looking for. I’ve done the jealous/suspicious/accusatory girlfriend thing before, and that’s one thing I can promise you I’ll never do again to myself, holy fuck.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Yes, I would show them my phone, because I can justify everything, I have on it. I for example would never want to see their phone, because I am not stressing over BS. I f they found nothing I would only laugh, like I give a shit, I am not a bad person, and I don't really do anything I should not be doing.

I would ask then now that I have showed you mine, show me ours... like right now. I would just want to see how they respond or react to it... even if they were willing let me look, I would probably just hand it back to them and say honestly, I was just testing you... but next time you ask about my phone I am going to go through yours. The first time is a freebie.

Chevy1_kb · Accepted Answer

yes because i have nothing to hide he can look through it all he wants i want the relashionship to have trust unlike my ex I asked him to show me his phone one time because i had gut feelings he was cheating wich he was he said no why do u wanna see my phone i said because i think ure cheating u have done to many things to give it away that you are a said i let u pick up mine up all the time look at it when u want you know my lock screen password a let it sit next to you when i go to shops and everything other wise he started after a year taking his phone everywhere and didn't tell me his lock screen and wouldn't let me see it now what does that tell you he is hiding something it took him about 4 hours to show me his phone he sat in the living room looking at it that full time and why so he could delete things from it let me look at it and think there is nothing bad there other wise he things am stupid obv he deleted them and there saved in recycle bin so he can restore them again men think am buttoned up the back in relashionships but I can see right through them because i take a lot of intrested in the relashionship to notice every little thing that happens

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

He can have it...

And while he's at it, he can answer my work texts, talk to my chatty, extroverted friends that won't shut up, and talk to my parents.

I don't have anything to hide so what's the big deal? The only people who stress over that usually (not always) are hiding something-

Yeah I know that's going to offend some people and you'll be okay.

But obviously I'm going to ask to see his phone anytime I want/need to as well, and you can bet I'm going to smell a rat if he's hesitate to let me look at his phone: goes both ways guys. If you want to see my phone, I better have access to yours as well.

Would I break up with him just for wanting to check out my phone?

Once is his "warning." Let him see he's got nothing to worry about. Ask again and he might be single again, lol. If he's that insecure, he shouldn't be with me.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don't do anything illegal or shameful on my phone but I do collect tips from dating couches I see on YouTube so I would not want a guy to look at my phone to learn that I'm collecting dating notes from experts online about how to attract him or keep him.

AviatorTom · Answer

If she demanded to see my phone, No, that's disrespectful. I have a right go my ptivacy. Now if she politely asked to see it, I'd probably just hand the phone to her.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Just out of the blue offer it up to them after the two of you become exclusive. Tell them you have nothing to hide and they may look at it anytime.

That will then put them on the spot to share theirs.

Thing is, l have used my phone a lot to contact people that are related to me doing my job. I have a lot of women’s numbers. Some of which were instructors and guidance counselor’s from when my job sent me back to school.

I haven’t had the need to contact them in a year or so. I have yet to delete their numbers. My job duties may change soon and l will need them then.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I wake up to obvious signs that she's gone through my phone already. If there was anything to find, I guess she'd found it already.

It does make me aware that she's probably got shit on her phone since she's so compelled to look there for shit without provocation.

She seems to have an obsession with this app called 'secure notepad' that I have totally forgotten about. She's tried to hack it like 3 times now. I finally figured out the password and all it is... me bitching about her doing stupid ass shit like that and beyond.

bolverk · Answer

Yes, and ask to see theirs at the same time, as all my phone has on it besides the usual family, Dr's, friends, business numbers, is some Ebooks, I'm from a time when your personal stuff is in your diary/journal. I just use my phone as a phone not as a major part of my life, if I lost it, sure I'd be bummed about it but there is nothing critical to my life on it.

If She refused to let me see what's on her phone then I'd assume that she's cheating, as cheaters have a tendency to accuse others of what they are doing, and when she demanded to see my phone I'd be running back through my memory looking for 'Red Flags', changes in behaviour, guarding her phone , etc.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Yes I would o have nothing to hide. He wants to see it I'll give him my unlock code so he can check it whenever he wants. But to be perfectly honest trust is super important in a relationship and I would think he didn't trust me and that would make me feel a type of way.

Anonymous · Answer

I would hate it as I grew up with parents who would snoop into any private thing I had. They even went in my back and looked through my drawings and stuff. I'm very protective of my privacy now, even if it's just texts with friends or the dumb shit I like on social media. I would try to talk to him about what is it that's making him worried to the point of wanting to look through my phone and would show him if really needed. But honestly I would only give it a few passes before refusing and noping out if he insists. It's just that important for me

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If they asked, sure. If they demanded, just make sure to shut the door on your way out. I have no problem with you using it, but don't go snooping around. There's 9 years of history on that phone plus all my financial accounts, wishlists, etc... our phones are connected to countless websites/apps, onedrive, etc, a great deal of which is none of your business. I'm not going to read your journal because I respect your privacy. You want to look up movie times on my phone? Sure, here you go. You want to scroll back to pictures from 7 years ago? Just leave.

Rei13 · Answer

If my boyfriend demanded to see it, or I caught him snooping, I probably would reconsider our relationship tbh as that would prove that he didn’t trust me. Otherwise we do go into each others phones to look things up etc all the time or to take pictures. It is all about intent behind it, don’t actually have anything to hide

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I would be fine with that as I have nothing to hide. I would however tell them it was a one time deal and I am not doing it again.

If I have given her no reason not to trust me, then she has to be reasonable and give me the benefit of the doubt, the same courtesy I would extend to her.

Hulk_kitty · Answer

No they can't see my phone, if they can't trust me, that is their problem. If I am not cheating on them, they have no evidence or grounds to control me.

If they don't trust me, and I am not cheating I am walking from the relationship, I am not dealing with their issues.

CubsterShura · Answer

I prefer keeping things to myself because I don't want my boyfriend looking into chats with my friends and finding out THEIR personal stuff. If I texted my friend something about myself that is very personal I'd be mad if their partner found out. It can include things from sensitive/confidential pieces of information, family details, medical stuff, or just my hijabi friends and relatives sharing their photos without hijab that they obviously wouldn't want any guys to see.

I can let him look through selective things though. My boyfriend never really asks to look at my phone but I know he's not nosy so I'll happily give it to him if he asks.

Constatine · Answer

NO... not if she demands... the more she forces to hand it over the more i refuse.

She can ask nicely... " I know she will "

Honey, can i have your phone?

"... But love there is a whole tank attached to it. Are you sure? "

Anpu23 · Answer

I have two cellphones, one is my private number, the other is my company phone. She has the lock code for both, and she has free access. She wouldn't have to "Demand" as I just give them to her often.

But assuming it was a "demand!" I don't think I'd be upset, she can just have them. Would I leave her over it, nah...

pass_the_celery98 · Answer

I feel like girls and women have more to hide with the amount of unncessary DMs they receive. Unless a guy or man is super rich or super attractive or both, women won't care about him. I'm an average dude, Why would a girl I'n dating have to worry about me? Unless I am personally talking to other girls in a sexual way by DM'ing them that's different (and its wrong). To answer the question if they demanded to see my phone ill show it. The only people I message are family, co-workers about work stuff and my guy friends about random shit (politics, life, sports, etc.)

CatVader · Answer

If i had a partner I would think it good both shared once in a while.
trust is important, and cementing that trust with nothing to hide is great in an rl as well.
if she asks me to see id wanna see hers as well.

19magic · Answer

It's all depends on how it's asked, I don't even live with my parents anymore but will be sitting and chatting and I've gone upstairs with them. I might then say can I borrow your phone a sec, do whatever I intended to do on there (either take a photo, video, look something up, calculator or YouTube) then I'd give it back five mins at best.

But to be demanded nah mate that'll put my hackles up, like why are you so annoyed what is it you wanna know?

sheenagwapa · Answer

i don't have a partner i do have a soulmate who keep telling me i'm ugly and fat and his other women are the best anywat with my ex before we can see each other's phone and so if ever i have a future boyfriend and would wanna see my phone i am not a cheater so i would gladly show it to him and if finds nothing wrong i will not breakup unless if i had enough of his accusations

Unit1 · Answer

That is a serious security problem. Actions can be authorized from my device, that will cause me harm, possibly homelessness and having 0 in my account. No. I died young and i'm not going back there.

exitseven · Answer

I have nothing to hide. She can see my phone and my ;laptop.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. You can ask me, or just check it. But don't demand shit from me.  Bonus, oh yeah I will. It shows you don't respect me or trust me, and that you want control over me.

Lisia · Answer

I tbh don't care, I have nothing to hide. And I wouldn't break up because of someone's trust issues it might be because of their past

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont give my phone to anyone. He better sit tf down somewhere lmao

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

I could not write a better answer than @cynicaldreamer already did. I agree 100% with her answer! Refer to her answer for my response.

Nikki1989 · Answer

We see each other's phones all the time, but we have nothing to hide, so it is never a problem.

Anonymous · Answer

Well if the promise is to be exclusive. He should have the right to check my phone. If I promised I’d be faithful. Yes he has the right to check my phone.

But I have that right too. If he doesn’t allow me to check his phone and emails … he doesn’t get to check mine either 💅💅

A deal is a deal. 💅💅💅💅

Anonymous · Answer

i'd say no and ask them why they are demanding this and what made them think all of a sudden they needed to see it?

i have nothing to hide from them. but just the fact that they demand to see my property? we'd have to talk it out... like what did i do to make you suddenly not trust me?

lilBigPotato · Answer

He can ask no problem. But I prefer if he asks nicely and not "demands it"

electromagnetic · Answer

Sure. All I have is memes about work, work emails and shared contacts.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

Depends. I would hand my phone over, sure, but when they found there was nothing I would begin wondering if their suspicion was self-defelcted guilt. I'd rather we just both give each other our pin numbers in the beginning.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I would, then immediately dump her. I won't be in a relationship with someone whom I do not trust, nor with someone who does not trust me.

DexWest · Answer

Which one? I have a personnal phone and a work phone. The work one is from the us government, so my wife will get told FAFO if she requests access to that phone. The personal one, who cares

Guido · Answer

My phone is open to her all the time. She has my password and I have hers. When driving, the passenger is always checking and replying to messages for the other. We have no secrets. Total trust.

Mac-One · Answer

We share the same phones, both home phone and cell phone.

dreamstar72 · Answer

She doesn’t have to, since she uses whatever phone is the closest.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Demanded? All they got to do is ask. You demand I'm going to tell you to f*** off.

DextroShade · Answer

My wife and I have free access to each other's phones. If a woman won't give her man access to her phone she is unfit for anything more than sex.

yumziee · Answer

Obv yes cause whenever I date someone I date for real and not for fun I'll just not show him my Snapchat cause I've terrible pictures of me in that shit😭😭

RainbowMarinade · Answer

The moment he “demands” anything is the moment that that demand is denied.  If he asks, which would be totally weird because he has never wanted to before, he can look at whatever he wants.

Datboi65 · Answer

I will show them all social media/ contacts they are looking for because I have nothing to hide, but I will break up right after. I don't need that type of person in my life.

Elinnnor · Answer

I wouldn't let them see my phone in the first place. I Have the right to privacy as much as him.

Bricealan · Answer

Hell no Coach!!! I don't want her to see all of those dick pictures I have sent to the girls on GAG! She would cut my balls off in my sleep and THEN cut my throat!!!

JimmyjamesB · Answer

No I wouldn't break up. with them I'd want to talk about the insecurity that makes them think they need to check their partners phone and try and understand how insecure they are

jshm2 · Answer

Sure, but this is why you should have two phones anyway... Joking aside, it's always best to have these boundaries set before entering the relationship.

AmeerX · Answer

İt means she doesn't trust me and the relationship is going downhill anyways 😤

Sparkie460 · Answer

My wife has looked at my phone before. I've got nothing to hide.

Potteplante · Answer

Yes I would and I probably would. I've done a relationship like that - not interested in another.

Twalli · Answer

My girlfriend knows my phone password. She can get on it whenever she wants

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes but the her attitude is important in how she ask.

milknhoneyy · Answer

I don't respond well to demands in general tbh

Fireguy17 · Answer

Sure, she has used it before. I don't have anything on it she shouldn't see or read so I could care less.

Monalisa77 · Answer

nah and it doesn't mean im hiding something, i just like my privacy

LazerBean · Answer

He wouldn't have to demand, we can use eachothers phones whenever we feel like it.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

My phone takes better pictures than hers so she used mine all the time. She has the lock code. I have nothing to hide.

jjj101010 · Answer

Sounds like they have trust issues so it’s bye bye!

robocop666 · Answer

Nope my phone is private. there's nothing on there anyway.

Jazzy54 · Answer

I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t ask to see his nor would I sneak around and look through it, either.

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

Demand? Not a chance. Ask every now and then for a trust-but-verify moment? Sure. That's fine. I'd do the same.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Yep  and she’ll just delete all the twerk videos she finds

Z1pTD · Answer

Yes I'd show them and no lol I definitely wouldn't break up with them because I did nothing wrong. That's so counter productive lol

If your partner demanded to see your phone would you show them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

If your partner demanded to see your phone would you show them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.