Would you leave wealth behind to be with someone who is poor?

[CarnaGirl18]

Would you leave the material things and a wealthy lifestyle behind to be with someone poor if it's real Love? Short story to my Q&A I grew up in an adopted home, both parents worked good-paying jobs, so we never went without food, water power, we weren't rich but wealthy. When I was young I went through a phase of wanting the fancy things in life until I realized money can't buy happiness, because I wasn't taught lessons with money my parents always gave me what I wanted. anyway, my boyfriend of 6 months, lives in a poor community, and barely has food on the table, he has the power on in his house but for a while, they don't have enough to pay the water bill. They've struggled in life. I never knew how bad poverty is until I met someone who has lived in it or you in it.
Anyway, we are madly in love with each other and being with my boyfriend and seeing what my future could be like if I stayed with him. I realized what kind of commitment I'm going have to take, what I'm going have to leave behind to be with someone worth it as him

Yes i would i can't live that life

Im stayed through thick and thin

I'm not sure

[Anonymous]

I said not sure, because I have been in love before, and I have been poor before.

In my experience there are two types of people out there, who have been poor and worked themselves out of it... the one type of person is the one that wants to give back, and the other type is the one that doesn't feel sorry for them, because you have to make hard choices and sacrifices to work yourself out of those situations.

I left home at the age of 20, I was dirt poor until around 24... but I made choices in life to get out of that situation and to stop doing the things that were holding me back, and to do more productive things that required great sacrifice and hard work. It took me years to climb out of that hole, and then to progress in life there after an build a strong and successful career.

I also feel in love with someone, and it hard to imagine life without this person... but that does not mean she was good for me. We were married for 24 years, but in a lot of ways she held me back in life. Why?

Because she was dirt poor to, and she never knew or learned how to manage money and wealth. If there was money, she wanted to spend it, because that is how poor people are. They will give you the shirt off their back, when they get money they will spend ever last dollar, and then be poor again and it doesn't matter phase them because they have never lived any different.

So, it's one thing to be poor, it's another thing to not be doing anything about it on your own or relying on someone else to drag you along for the ride with them on their journey.

So, what this comes down to me is what is your boyfriend doing about it? What progressive steps is he doing to change his situation on his own, without you?

I know that at your age of 18, that you think love is forever, that it goes beyond your imagination to believe that you could ever feel any differently about this guy then you do right now. I know because I was 18 in the same situation as you, and by 20 I was married.

So, I say again to you, what are you hopes and dreams for yourself without any other person, what is it you want out of life, and do you honestly think this guy will better enhance your life or eventually hold you back?

Because for me looking back at my life at 47, I can easily say that everything I have accomplished I could of done it without my ex-wife, and probally accomplished more.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking for me or for you? Because firt off the gender expectations on us are different. So I'm going to answer this question as those it was directed towards you.

My advice to you would be to look at his character ABOVE ALL. Money come and goes in life. Economies rise and fall. Jobs are gained and lost. But character is ingrained in a person and will always remain constant. What is his drive and aspirations? I wasn't born wealthy. It's debatable on whether I am now. But I have far surpassed my parents in monetary wealth. Because that was my drive for as long as I can remember. Family comes FIRST with me, money is just a tool, but a necessary one in life.

So my advice to you is look at this guy. If the bones are there so to speak. If you see he already has the drive to succeed and you can help by believing in him, and encouraging him then his lack of money shouldn't matter. But you cannot give him drive. He's gotta have that on his own. If he doesn't have that then I'm move on. Because all he'll be is an anchor to you.

One final note. You talked about how you were well off financially. If you do choose him. You have to be willing to accept that there might be some lean times ahead. If you're not willing to make that sacrifice then leave him to some other woman who will make that sacrifice for him. Because if you're not all-in with him it's not going to work.

[Screenwriter]

I couldn't make such a commitment at age 18. What are this guy's prospects for the future? Will he be able to get job training? Go to college? Is he working now? At what?

You're taking a giant leap with no safety net. I advise caution and not to make any major moves. Many people fall in love at 18, but it's unlikely that a first love is the only, best or final relationship in their lives.

Take your time to know this person well. By well, I mean over several years. Neither of you are independent adults. You have lots of growing up to do over the next five to seven years. You haven't separated from your home of origin, and it doesn't sound like he has either.

You have to discover if your values and outlooks are the same. What kind of life do you want to have? If it's a life of comfort, this young man has never had that, and likely can't imagine it, or help provide it for you. Just as you can't imagine going hungry or not having basic needs met.

This is the most serious disconnect between the two of you. And you are in the throes of the first flush of "love." This is not a time for making permanent decisions. Does he know your family and you his? His friends and yours? Take all of these things into account and go slowly.

[StarWarGirl]

Love is beautiful and true love is rare but money is reality in this real world where everything needs money. Love can't feed. If some health issues occur money is required. So to stay alive money is required and without life there could be no love.

So I would definitely not leave money behind. Instead I would try to take the help of money to get the love. I would learn some skill or get myself in that position where I could get a proper job. With money i have from my parents family I can study, i can get any training or can do something to make myself upto that level so I'll use money to make myself at that level first then only I'll go to my love.

If I can't, if this is not possible. Then leaving behind the money and behind love in such situation is foolishness. Not at all practical decision. Such kind love can't survive on the ground of reality. Love would be just for name shake but without happiness and only pain.

[caring__1]

Is he saying he plans to remain in this situation forever? That's like saying someone who starts out in diapers will wear diapers for the rest of his life. Together, the two of you can create a fuller life than you had with your adoptive parents. We're not limited by our past. My son makes 10 times as much money as I do, so his upbringing didn't hold him back. You're choosing an opportunity, not giving up your past. What you make of that opportunity is up to you.

[CarnaGirl18]

Yeah we have both talked about getting out of poverty and me out of my parents house due to issue’s. We are both already working out the details and getting jobs to make a better life for each other. But I didn’t realized how much I’m gonna struggle with him and how much im gonna have to sacrifice until we fully have the life we make.

[caring__1]

Everyone who seeks significant improvement in their life sacrifices. That could be education or starting a business or any other endeavor. People do not start at the top; they work their way up. The only limitations you'll face are the limitations you place in your path. What gives value to our accomplishments are the challenges we overcome to achieve them. We either have the ability or have the ability to acquire the ability. Your life is yours to choose. Make the most of your choices.

[coachTanthony]

Love stories are for movies. You're 18. You will struggle with this guy until you all break up and you'll look back and go damn why did I do that. Just because you live in a fairy tale doesn't mean you need to go to opposite ends and now be dirt poor struggling. Perspective is key not struggle.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I would leave all my wealth and would start building the wealth together with him.

[CarnaGirl18]

You get it that's what I was applying but no one seem to get it

[Anonymous]

No. I'm being honest. I grew up like your boyfriend and life is very hard that way. You rarely get a chance to know pleasure and joy in life because you're always counting coins, and deciding food or medicine. I don't need to be with a millionaire, but I need to be with someone on equal footing where we aren't struggling for basics. Where we can at least take a vacation once a year without wondering if we can pay rent the next month if we do. When you are in love, you have to decide what life you want because everyone who says "all that matters is love," has never had the flu and still had to go to work because you can't afford to take any days off and you don't have insurance to even try to get care even if you wanted to. Not the life I want.

[CarnaGirl18]

I feel so bad for y’all, nobody deserves that lifestyle and I completely understand your response and it’s valid. I cried when my boyfriend was talking about how much proverty can affect a family and what you really don’t see behind the scenes. I hope the Lord blesses you with everything you have always wanted life 🥰😥🩷

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. Things are better now, thankfully, but I know I don't want to go back to that place. It is just too hard to try and sustain as a way of living even if love is involved.

[jeffend888]

Since you're 18, you get a pass. You still believe that these kinds of fairy tales work out and love conquers all and those kinds of things don't matter.

Well I'm here to tell you that they do matter. At 18, it's all fun and games. But when you get older..10 years older.. 20 years older, you'll start to realize how much fit actually matters. Finances matter. Family matters.

In a scenario like this, you'll spend more time "working on" the relationship as opposed to progressing.

[CarnaGirl18]

Yea we both know that we can’t work on the relationship itself. We have to work on building a life around it. So we’re working on it. And also I’ve noticed that im still living in a dang fairytale and need to come back to reality sometimes

[blueonblack22]

This all depends on how your boyfriend reacts to his upbringing. Does he want better? Is he motivated to improve?

People who grow up in impoverished backgrounds can sometimes be extremely successful because they are motivated to improve. But others can get stuck in this rut because their surroundings are all they know

Anyway I think you are asking all the wrong questions. You are looking at what is right now for your boyfriend. You should be judging your boyfriend on what his ambitions are. What he wants to do with his life. His work ethic, dreams and drive will largely determine his future.

[Rei13]

It depends on the guy. My dad grew up poor like that and both him and my uncle do really well now. My boyfriend also grew up poor and does pretty well now. I think it just depends on who your boyfriend is as a person. Some people never leave poverty. Some try/fail and some never even try to begin with. If you are both trying to better yourselves and put yourself in a better situation for the future then it is worth it. Put yourself through school (or teach yourself a skill) or go for a decent paying job/move up. Financial issues can kill a relationship and lead to unhappiness especially once the butterflies go away.

[Constatine]

Question : Would you leave the material things and a wealthy lifestyle behind to be with someone poor if it's real Love?

Answer : Yes without any doubt. There are many things that gives joy and happiness in live..

money is not one of them.

Except for him 😁

[Dinklex3]

I don’t get it.

You can continue to do better, elevate, and work towards the life you want together.

What are you leaving behind and why do you have to be poor too?

[Juxtapose]

Daddy's money 100%. Not hers.

[Dinklex3]

I somehow didn’t see she was 18.
They’re both poor then. My answer stands though. Make some goals, work towards them to be financially independent adults. You don’t have to rush to move out and live together.

[Juxtapose]

I hate how transactional people make relationships, it's so fucking soulless.

But yes she is poor and doesn't even realize it.

[CarnaGirl18]

100% it’s daddy’s money. And I don’t want his money. My sister told me a couple of months ago that I need to get off there financial plan and stability. Because they have trapped her into not making a life for herself and family, and learning financial stability. So I know I’m Poor. But that wasn’t the question though. I accidentally took it out of context

[Juxtapose]

Well either you're in it for the other person and want to make it work or you're not. Unless you have to financially support them yourself their finances should not factor into it.

[Dinklex3]

@Juxtapose ^ Agreed.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask you to.

I would want the best for the person that I loved and I know I can't give them the life that someone else can.

Love is not selfish.

Only you can make the choice because you have to live with the consequences of whatever you choose.

But I strongly suggest that you don't get knocked up. 6 months is nothing right now you don't know anything about anything, you don't even know who you are yet nevermind what you want from your life.

You are not on a safari.

[catarecute]

just take your wealth with you and make the other person rich too. unless your wealth was never actually yours in that case you are just as poor as him anyway and living a lie.

[CarnaGirl18]

Sadly rich girls problems. My sister had to put a stop living off my parents money. Because of how helpless it made her be in the real world. And how she's lying to your children and herself by saying it’s her money. And that’s what I mean about rich girl problems I’m still living off my parents money. And it’s hard to get out of that situation when you been in for a long time

[catarecute]

thats not rich girls problems thats not independend girl problem. my family isn't really rich but i am way to dependent on them, they pay for my rent, travel, food, clothes. i know its an embarrasing situation and i am definetly gonna stop living like that by the time i turn 30. trust you dont have to be rich to not be independent. i am poor and what ever my parents or family gives me i will pay back. untill you earn your own money you are classed as poor doesn't matter if your family are rich

[nastyb]

Just letting you know... money is one of the top reasons for divorce.

Be careful going around saying money doesn't matter

Because you might end up regretting saying it

[CarnaGirl18]

I didn’t think of it that way, your right.

[MrOracle]

You shouldn't assume that because he's poor now that he's going to be poor forever. Many very wealthy people started out dirt poor. The question is: is he motivated to improve his situation? And know that having someone in his corner who believes in him is a HUGE motivating factor. Knowing you have a girl who loves you and has your back and is being a cheerleader for you will motivate most men far beyond what they would have imagined for themselves.

[Mach40]

Start your own business.. Ask your parents to help, im sure they would love to help. Or.. Sale on ebay.. I make a lot of money on ebay.. Hint, I buy my stuff at flea markets, you can also buy up storage units. Look at completed listings, to see what sales and everyone wants.. Sale stuff on face book market place also or offerup... If you both want a real future i would suggest you start a business that any kind of pandemic won't effect.

[genericname85]

as a man, "leaving wealth behind to be with someone" is the standard. cause who's expected to bring the majority of the money, pay for dates, engagement rings and marriage parties? not the woman. so men are by default leaving wealth behind to be with someone. doesn't matter if they're poor to men.

[RingOfFire]

Why does your future need to be so poor? You are both young. Both of you need to get to work to make your own way and do something that will make you a good living. America is the land of opportunity. Anyone can succeed if they work hard and use their God given talent.

If you love each other, make it work!

[Unit1]

You can always coach the poor person the skills in order to make (more) money. Chances are they were not taught how to really make money or invest or trade and chances are they do not have the capital to escape poverty.

You don't have to give up wealth for it.

However if that person continues to do what the poor do to stay poor after having the skills and capital to get out of poverty, you can bet your behind they are likely to drag you down there too.

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't willingly put myself in that position, no... you have to think of the future. all of this can also lead to unhappiness in your relationship, especially from what you were formally used to. why can't you both get better jobs? work towards a better future? not downgrade... also, the fact that you've only been dating for 6 months, no need to make this big of a commitment.

[Anonymous]

I was brought up with everything good. My mom always said I could get anyone I wanted, Doctor and lawyer. I didn't see it her way though. I have had many guys rich and poor and in today's society, It's not fun to be broke or to have just some. I would hope to be able to keep my wealth and to keep my poor man happy. That's it.

[Anastacia1989]

When you love someone you stick with them no matter what and try to work things out together….. maybe his situation might change and you can help him out along the waY?
Hellp find him work and get him on his feet, etc…. that’s what real love is…if you’re only caring for money then you don’t love him clearly

[ManOnFire]

Knowing I have wealth and could help a poor partner, why wouldn't I just take them into my wealthy life where they are no longer poor? Why would I need to give it up to be with them if my wealth can help them?

[Juxtapose]

Living in poverty is easy if you know how to manage your money. All the money in the world though won't make up for loneliness but I suppose as a woman the guy is pretty replaceable isn't he?

[midnightmoon05]

You are your goals between you and him for the next year?
how long have you two known each other?

Your parents ideas? Left you all the money?

[Potteplante]

I'd not need to leave much behind, since what I have - is mine. If I met a man who was not as financially set as me, wouldn't change my "wealth".

[Anonymous]

Wait--why the hell would anyone have to leave wealth behind to be with someone who is poor? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense for the poor person in that situation to leave poverty behind to be with the person who isn't poor?

[Nik1hil]

If it's my families money sure..

If its my hard earned money, and I own it, No!..

[Iron_Man]

Yes of course love is what it’s all about without love what good is money

[KrakenAttackin]

Laughable. What you are talking about is lust. After lust wears off and you are living in a shit hole, you will get tired of that pretty quickly.

[RavVid]

As a guy I would expect to lift my girl out of that and provide a life that is comfortable though not rich. Why couldn't you lift him out?

[AngryCarl2]

Love is fleeting but poverty can become permanent. You may wish to drag your boyfriend out of poverty but he will probably drag you down with him.

[sashasauce]

Yea 100%. Love is far more valuable than money in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

No lol. Love doesn't fix everything and love doesn't make things right. Love isn't gonna feed you or give you shelter.

[Christoff92]

Would build my own wealth and give her a better future.

[PeachesNCream98]

Yes, if I really loved a girl and she gave me I need emotionally why not

[slatyb]

I have my own money, so not a problem.

[Anonymous]

He probably is using you for the money 🤣

[CarnaGirl18]

Haha I haven't even shared a dime with him, smartass😂🙃

[Opinion Owner]

He’s hoping you will one day, that’s why he acts in love and shit. Plus, you’re only 18 dummy 🤣

[Jmmmfi4]

LOL... I'LL TAKE THE MONEY

[Staximus]

Tell him to get a job and stop being a bum

[Pterodon]

I’d sacrifice everything for true love

[whistlingwh0res]

If he is needy and incapable why stay?

[Anonymous]

Not even a question. Money everytime

[Anonymous]

I wish your parents adopted me.

[DreamLife7]

Nope lol