In terms of dating or marriage, the partner who earns more should do seventy to thirty ratio in terms of paying. They can put thirty percent of their wealth aside, for their own needs and such. But, the partner who earns less will pay less on trips, dates etc. Fair, yes?
I would never expect them to pay for anything, but if they wanted to do something like a date or holiday and I can't afford it then the only way that's going to happen is if they do.
Which is up to them really. It's a simple method really they want it so they pay for it. They want a really nice house with expensive bills, meanwhile I am 100% fine paying low bills in a crappy one they can't just expect me to somehow chip in. Same with a date, if I am happy with some cheap takeaway stuff while sat on the couch watching a film but they want to go out on a fancy date then their the one paying. Why would I pay?
So in the same way I wouldn't expect them to pay for anything, I wouldn't want them expecting me to pay for anything. Leading to if one wants something they should be the one paying for it.
Now if one wants to be nice and pay for what the other wants that's a gift but speaking realistically the one with lower money isn't going to be able to do that or if so much less frequently. So the one richer will be the one who gives more gifts just by that factor.
It's the same way I've personally asked a girl to go watch a film in the cinema with me. I wanted her to come with me, and I wanted to go. I invited them. Therefore I am obviously paying. Now if she came up to me and asked me I would expect her to pay.
If she came up to me and said hey I want you to come with me to the cinema but your paying for me, I would be like time to make some excuse to get out of there.
Or another case that's okay is she or I go hey have you heard about this film? Then they respond with Yeah I've been meaning to go see it.
Well I am going to see it now wanna come with or you got other plans?
This when both people pay for their own. Because it's an offer to come along not I want to take you.
Budgeting should only come into play if you are living together. If you are dating it only makes sense to take it into account for who pays for what on the dates when out doing that. Otherwise, you are both separate people with separate expenses. You should be able to cover your own expenses that are in your name.
If it is like a mortgage/rent, water, gas, electric then that can be decided upon the couple on how it gets carried out. Also, the person who makes more will be taxed more, so that is something to take into account.
in my opinion this depends entirely on the dynamic and stages of what a relationship is at. When I lived with one of my exes he was making double of what I was and we were splitting half and he should’ve been helping more with the bills but instead he chose to be financially unstable and Amazon boxes were coming to our front door. In that very moment I realized we weren’t compatible , and the reason being is because if he had enough money to buy all that stuff, he should’ve been paying and putting more money towards our bills but instead his mind was so set and stone on half and half, he watched me struggle instead. I was 21 and he was 26 at the time. It showed me he wasn’t that totally invested in wanting to help progress our relationship but more so was looking for a roommate
That is what my partner and I do. If we went 50/50 on everything we wouldn’t be able to afford to live in the places he wants to live because I make less. We also wouldn’t be able to go on trips or go out to do things together. We pay what we can both afford. For rent, for example, we go off a percentage of what our pays are and use that to determine what we can afford. Obviously he has more but it is the same impact on both of us. Don’t really think it should be one person paying for everything but you’re also not roommates so you should be helping each other
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Just one example, I earn more than my husband so yes, I pay the majority of our household expenses BUT he’s had to take on more of the household responsibilities, since I have much less time and energy for that.
The man should just take care of it all
For me it does not matter. All of our accounts are joint and all money earned by either of us goes into the same account.
Neither of us believe in keeping finances separate. It's worked well for us for 30 years.
We joined our accounts when we moved in together and didn't get married until 7 years later after we bought and sold 2 houses and just moved into our 3rd house together. Kept moving because of work transfers. Would have married sooner but the moves kept putting off our plans.
For rent/mortgage if you earn more than your partner then you pay more. If you earn twice as much you pay twice as much. Power, internet, gas, groceries etc are split equally or using the same method.
Dates and holidays can be equal or same arrangement if that is what you want.
That makes sense. But does that include passive income too (like money you inherited from your parents)?
Dating and marriage are two entirely different propositions and not at all the same thing. I don’t think there is a mathematical formula to arrive at but rather defined goals. At some points we have lived entirely off one’s income while saved every penny of the others, to buy a home. Then, we split bills as we paid for her tuition, then later each put in about 80% of our incomes to attain goals we set. It really varies and changes over time.
It depends on how the couple approach their finances. I don't look at it as a split, I tend to look at it as a whole.
We both contribute to the pot, the money pays the bills and then you both figure out how to disseminate the rest. You come to an agreement about an appropriate monthly expense amount and try to stay within the budget. Some of the excess goes to retirement.
Unmarried people need to live in their own houses and support themselves. Married couples can do whatever they want, but it's silly to be married if you're just going to count who buys what. That's just a roommate with benefits, but whatever floats their boat.
No. I was just talking about this with the ex and his current situation. If I’m with someone, we’re giving the same amount. We’re not going to punish one or the other for having worked harder/made more/been more successful. We’d contribute the same amount to monthly bills. I already hate seeing how someone richer has to pay more in taxes. Its like they’re being punished for their success. Everyone should pay the same
Depends.
It's all individual.
I out earned the first boyfriend I lived with and we contributed to the bills proportionate to our pay difference. For us it looked like 60:40 me:him.
Wait… the one that makes more should contribute 70% of their income? While the other does what, 30%? So if Partner A makes $2000 and Partner B maybes $1000, Partner A should contribute $1,400 and Partner B should contribute $300? That’s not fair at all. You should both agree on a number for expenses and rent and you split it 50/50. You can’t punish one person for making more money. If Partner B wants more money they can get a better job.
I make more than the girl I’ve been hanging out with. I never let her pay when we go out. I plan to officially ask her out soon. It’s been more hanging out as friends with some teasing/flirting. I’m an attorney, and she’s a relatively new professor at community college. I never let her pay, but she doesn’t abuse it.
That should be discussed when things start getting serious. Whatever they agree on is how it should be divided.
In percentage, I pay much more. In amount, my husband does tenfold. I work part time at a job that doesn't pay well, but I love it. He works at a job that pays much more and he works overtime. My paycheck only just covers groceries, so 100% goes to that but it helps. While he pays for everything else and saves 20% or so. But we don't really pay attention to it, since we share a bank account. It's both our money. We work an equal amount when you include all the housework I do.
In a marriage it should all be one pot with each getting some play / personal expense money.
In dating, whatever works for the couple. Since I will not "live together" the concept of a shared budget while dating does not compute for me.
Proportional share is reasonable. All couples should discuss and agree on finances if they're going to get serious!
That depends on what yell agree to but I won't pay over 50%. The girl still makes out in that she doesn't stay single paying 100%. If we married, which I want ever do, but in that hypothetical scenario, that money is half hers anyways. Any money saved, prior I wouldn't comingle
I won't say the 70-30 thing. But yes, they should contribute more
Once my then girlfriend, now wife, and I got serious we turned my bank account into a joint account. We spend the money like it is both of ours without question.
I believe it's men job to taking care of her financially...
I m not into this silly argument.
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