Should I tell my best friend of 12 years about my feelings for her? More explained below?

[Anonymous]

I'm gonna try and keep this short and sweet. I've known this woman for a long time I've been by her through her worst and best times. We initially didn't get along but over the years we've grown closer and closer. We're essentially inseparable, she's even went as far to tell me I can't die before she does cause it will hurt too much. But there in lies the issue...

Recently I was diagnosed with a condition that has put my life on a clock, I only have a few years left at best. I'm not giving up but the doctors have told me there is nothing I can do, I will die eventually. This has been a very hard pill to swallow for me and I haven't told anyone about it until I started writing this. I want to tell her but I don't know how.

I've known for a while now how I've felt about her, about 2 years or so. I never originally had any attraction towards her outside of our friendship. But something changed and I couldn't tell you what that was for the life of me. All i know is that i love this woman and id do anything for her. Now I'm here and I don't know what to do. I want to tell her about my feelings and my health condition. I don't want to tell her my feelings in hopes she will come running to me because I'm not delusional. Even if I was it would be incredibly selfish to do that while knowing what I do now.

I want to tell her these things so she understands how much she is truly loved. The major roadblock here is that she is also in a relationship of 10 years with her boyfriend and I don't want to get in the middle of them. I have been nothing but respectful of the relationship so far. In my my mind I just can't fathom leaving this world without at least letting her know how much I care for her. It would break my heart, well whats left. But maybe that is what would be best for her.

I'm not sure, thats why I'm here. Any suggestions are appreciated and thanks for taking your time to read my question. I hope you all find happiness in your life, and live it to the fullest <3

[Anonymous]

You said 'There is no finding anyone else at this point. Not with the time I have left. Thanks for your input though. Much love. '

Your priorities are all wrong. You have not yet understood the sheer power of our own words. You are speaking death over your own life and listening to the Doctors who only ever do the same. Bear in mind that long term studies show that how an individual rates their own health on a scale directly relates to when they die. But here is the interesting part. Those who rated their health as low died earlier even if their actual physical state of health was better than those who rated their selves higher. Death and life are truly in the power of the tongue. But this is where knowing scripture comes in because all illness comes under the curse of the law but we have been redeemed so can use the Word of God to confess and only agree with His promises of health. People have overcome impossible illness through this. You either believe in Gods report or the Doctors one...

As for your friend, she is in a 10 year relationship so best to stay away. She would only see is as emotional blackmail if you go ahead too. Thus your best bet is to focus on recovering, to stop agreeing with the words of the enemy and to agree only with Gods words.

[Anonymous]

You can tell her, but it will probably result in the end of your friendship. I suppose that's for the best anyway, this will allow you to move on and find someone else.

[Asker]

There is no finding anyone else at this point. Not with the time I have left. Thanks for your input though. Much love.

[Opinion Owner]

A few years is enough time. Sometimes those diagnoses end up being wrong anyway. I know someone who was "supposed" to die five years ago.

[Asker]

I can hope you're right but with the evidence given to me I can't believe it. Again, thanks for responding 🙏

[kylee2437]

This is my biggest fear of carrying male friendships into any kind of future relationship I enter. It’s incredibly selfish to look at her as an option to date when she isn’t.

[Asker]

I never said I saw her as an option. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean that she is an option, that I totally understand. I feel like with your response you missed a few lines in my wall of text. But assuming the best and you read the whole thing. Thanks for taking the time to respond and being honest.

If that is one of your biggest fears in this dark and cruel world I am truly sorry.

[kylee2437]

@asker but the bottom line is you aren’t a real friend to her, you are a man waiting for his turn and that’s not really nice. I don’t sugar coat

[Asker]

Now that's just not true. I have always been a real friend to her. I can't fathom this idea that just because of my feelings it means I'm "waiting my turn". I was friends with her long before those developed. I think that's a rather asinine way to look at it. Plus in this assumption of yours I get a turn in general, which is a bold to assume. Either way, thanks again.

[BigBlueEyes343]

Hey, I’m really sorry xo

[In_Trance]

This is why men and women can't be friends