I’m asking this anonymously in case she sees this. I have a friend who has THE WORST track record with men (not saying mine is great either but it’s better than hers). She married a guy years ago that she only knew for a week who she divorced six months later and she’s gone back to toxic exes who abused her more than once hoping they’ll change but she’s always the first to say something about my dating life. She was there with me when I logged into okcupid and a guy messaged me and then sent me a second message chastising me for not answering the first message within an hour (I’m not on the app every day and didn’t see the message). I responded and told him that, he took it as an apology and we talked a little bit. At her urging I gave the guy a chance, then he started inquiring about my name (which is very unique and uncommon). He didn’t believe it was my real name and thought it was a made up screen name. When I told him it was my name, he started questioning my nationality and then my parents nationality. I told him I’m 3rd generation American and he asks “then why do you have such a weird name? What was your mom thinking when she named you that?” My first thought was “this guy is being a dick”, she quickly comes to his defense saying “aww, give the guy a chance. I mean, he’s a computer programmer which means he’s probably really intelligent and that comes with a little bit of social awkwardness.” So today I tell her about a different guy that messaged me who is Christian, an animal lover, vegan (I’m vegetarian), monogamous and speaks several languages, and I showed her the conversation, which was us talking about old video games, books and his woodcraft hobby, she sees I’m really interested in this guy and tells me “tread carefully with him, he seems like trouble to me”, and she still keeps telling me I’m wrong for not giving a chance to the guy who made fun of my name. I know she’s only looking out but why when she can’t pick men either?
Why does my friend push me to go out with guys I don’t have any interest in but discourage me from talking to ones I am interested in?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Single women keep women single.
Your friend needs to butt out of your love life. You were right, the first guy sounded terrible. Unfortunately it seems like your friend doesn’t have a good judge of character. But even if she does, she doesn’t seem to have your best interest at heart. Be honest. Do you really want to take relationship advice from someone who divorced and now hangs with toxic men?
Oh I’m not taking her advice and tbh I didn’t even ask her for it. When I told her about the new guy, it was more of a “look at this cute guy that I’m talking to” sort of thing and not really asking for advice. She just gave it to me unsolicited. She really isn’t the best judge of character. Thank you though, I appreciate that.
She's not much of a friend.